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Adult Science Jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by genuinemommy, Nov 21, 2011.

  1. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    And the Lord said, "Let there be light," and there was light. He/she/it
    saw that it was . . . bent . . . and verily backed he/she/it away therefrom
    to ponder. Upon seeing that this anamoly would bring forth much confusion
    and concern among his/her/its creations he/she/it summoned forth one of the
    angels who lurked there about and gave him/her/it instruction.

    "Goeth ye down to the earth and the inhabitants thereof with this sacred
    law that I shall giveth thee and there thou shalt deliver it unto one who
    shall be named Snell and thou shalt instruct him to diseminate this law
    hither and yon to all the lowly students of Physics 101 so they may go
    forth into the world and enlighten the inhabitants thereof regarding this
    apparent error in my divine creation. Thou shalt admonish the one called
    Snell that he is to make it clear that the law worketh in both directions,
    yea going in and coming out, and that it is universal to all things that
    possesseth a property I shall call optically clear wherein I have limited
    the speed of light to less than that of the heavens. He shall call the
    ratio between these two speeds the Holy Index of Refraction and he shall
    writeth it down as I have given it to you, using the humble small letter n
    and he shall separate the n of the heavens from the n of the materials
    possessing the properties I have outlined by calling them n1 and n2. The
    Holy Convention shall dictate that n1 is to the left and n2 to the right so
    that all shall proceed with their calculations in the same manner. Thus it
    shall be for all time, yea, even relativistic."

    Thus the angel went down to the earth and did as he/she/it had been
    instructed by the Lord and it came to pass that Snell, being a faithful and
    obedient servant of the Lord, did precisely as he had been instructed. The
    Lord saw that this was good and named he/she/it the results of the law
    refraction and the people of the earth accepted his/her/its law in all its
    various forms, yea, even the simpleminded thin lens formula, and rejoiced
    in the name of the Lord and the word refraction was on the lips of every
    student who had the great privelege of graduating from high school.
     
  2. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK
    1. Isaac Newton's birthday.
    2. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
    3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
    4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
    5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
    6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
    7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
    8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
    9. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
    10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.
     
  3. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    ahh...the grant game, one of the reasons scientists are so "well paid". :rolleyes:
     
  4. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]


    **this bit means something to me...reminds me of the time I spent entering in molecular formulas into a pharmaceutical firm's database
     
  5. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    Religion can be a troll at times... :rolleyes:
     
  6. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    especially if they're really huge...

    or another way of looking at it, at least you won't need lube for this one.

    Now, that's adult. ;)
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2013
  7. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    when they touched, it was as if everything exploded...
    [​IMG]
     
  8. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    boy, do I feel like one of these rats today... :confused:
     
  9. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]


    and that tail seems to go on forever...
     
  10. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    geez...these liberals and conservatives... :rolleyes:
     
  11. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]

    in honor of recent events... :eek:
     
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  12. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    my future??
     
  13. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]


    **but officer I was just going along with the flow of traffic... ;)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]

    ahead of the curve & ahead of the times... :cool:
     
  15. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
  16. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    oh, so THAT'S why I can't get off my butt... ;)
     
  17. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]
    I need money... ;)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
  19. MSD

    MSD Very Tilted

    Location:
    CT
    That one loses a lot of the humor without the subtitle
    A technology that is "20 years away" will be 20 years away indefinitely.
    Fusion power will always be 20 years away.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC