An experience I never should have, in a place I never should have

Today was my typical morning; get home from work, turn the heat on, throw my comfy-pants on, turn on the TV and look in the fridge for something to eat. I decide on a Red Baron pizza. Throw it in the oven, set the timer for 15mins and go plop in front of the TV. As is usual, I'm in and out of consciousness. Working the graveyard shift in a factory is exhausting but I've got some rally racing on so I'm trying to fight it because I love my rally racing.

All of a sudden I'm overcome with fear, panic, disorientation - is this one of those dreams where I'm stuck partly between awake and asleep? What's happening? I'm sort of frozen looking around trying to figure out what's going on and then I realize it's a sonic non-lethal weapon like I've seen the police use on TV.

I just bought this house - my realtor saying the previous owner lived here for 12 years. Well recently I found out she was full of shit. The house was a rental unit that they had simply owned for the past 12 years. I figured this out when mail started coming to the house for like 6 different people. So now I'm thinking one of these people was some sort of serious criminal - drug dealer, murderer, something bad and the authorities believe I'm this person - and they've come to apprehend me. At this point I've covered my ears and I'm waiting for what happens next, for SWAT with assault rifles to come around the corner. But nothing happens.

Mind you, it may have taken you a couple minutes to read that, but all of this has transpired in a matter of 15-20 seconds. Maybe not even. 15ft up in the air on a vaulted ceiling - it was a smoke detector. A smoke detector. I've never heard anything this loud in my entire life - and I go to race tracks, drag strips, concerts, you name it and I never wear ear plugs at any of this. Why on earth would anyone think a smoke detector needs to be this loud? Smoke detectors are supposed to wake you up - not freeze you with fear.

To top it all off, I can't reach it, I don't have a ladder yet. And why is this piece of shit going off anyways? The pizza is supposed to be in for 15-17min, it hasn't even been 10, and it's a brand new oven. BRAND NEW. This is the 2nd time I've used it. I can't even smell the pizza yet, let alone smoke, are you kidding me right now? I go next door and borrow a little 4ft ladder and I try to knock the thing off the ceiling with a pushbroom - OH MY GOD this thing is so loud and it just won't stop, it's continuing to overwhelm me with waves of panic, and why won't this thing fall down? Because it's bolted to the ceiling and hard wired, that's why. I've come to battle with a pushbroom and it has a 120volt crowd control siren.

What on earth. Why is this happening? At this point I'm wishing it actually was SWAT because that would have at least made sense to me. I'm trying to think of solutions - Call the cops? Call the fire department? Shut the power off? Maybe I'll just burn the damn house down, then at least it will have a reason to be blaring at me. Now I know why so many homes have "broken" ones and ones without batteries. No person in their right mind would ever want to experience this again. I'd rather take my chances with the fire than to live in fear every time I turn the stove on. Finally a massive well aimed swing sends the thing flying across the room with a very satisfying explosion of plastic.

http://cavimike.com/DIEBLOODYDIE.JPG (click for pic)

Relief. Sweet sweet relief. Think my pizza is done.

 

We have basic smoke alarm powered by a 9V battery that'll wake dead, & it's way too sensitive to keep any where near the kitchen.

 

Scares the s**t out of the dog when it goes off....

 

Granpas frying food, open the doors and windows.