Communists in the Fun House—Menstrual Musings (TMI alert for the guys)

In the absence of the Ladies' Lounge, this is what I have to work with. Sitting here at my desk with an aching uterus, what better way to ease this pain than start a thread on TFP about menstruation? So, ladies...

• What does your cycle look like?
• How do you manage your period?
• What other symptoms do you experience, and how do you manage them?
• If you're with someone, does your SO give you special treatment and/or avoid you during your sojourn in the Red Tent?
• If you're with a guy, is he comfortable with—and willing to—resupply your stock of tampons, pads, chocolate and other menstrual paraphernalia?

And gentlemen, so you don't feel excluded...

• For the straight guys with SOs: Do you comfort/pamper and/or take special care of your lady, or do you prefer to keep a low profile in case of potential catastrophic mood swings and volatile emotional states?

Guys, please feel free to chime in elsewhere in the conversation as you see fit.

What does your cycle look like?
Unpredictable. I was diagnosed with PCOS in college after going close to a year with no period at all followed by almost three months of uninterrupted heavy bleeding. I was put on birth control pills to regulate my cycle, which helped get me back on track until I decided, stubbornly, that I didn't need them anymore and didn't bother to refill my prescription once the pills ran out. My cycle would even out on the medication and stay that way a few months beyond, after which I'd slip into the same pattern of irregularity. This has continued several times over till the present day, in which my periods are about as regular, without medication, as they have been in years, with roughly 4o to 45 days between the start of each cycle. I've begun to use a phone app to track my cycle, which has been surprisingly helpful. I'm also exercising more and eating better than I had in the past—well, up until several months ago—so I imagine that hasn't hurt.

Even when I'm not completely regular, I can usually tell my period is about to start days in advance when my nipples start to get very tender. My ex would routinely pinpoint increasingly drastic mood swings as a possible harbinger, but I've always maintained she exaggerated those somewhat...though I could be wrong. The cramps arrive soon after, which is exactly where I am now.

How do you manage your period?
After starting out with pads in the very beginning and graduating to tampons as a teenager, I've been consistently using a reusable menstrual cup since about 2003 (read this and you'll understand why). The first one I bought was made of gum rubber and lasted about 8 years, and its replacement, a silicone Keeper MoonCup, is destined to last as long if not longer. I swear by this thing. After overcoming a learning curve of proper fitting to avoid leaking and spillage, my process with using this thing is near seamless, and I feel better about myself using it than I ever did with pads or tampons. Granted, should my drastically irregular cycle rear its ugly head once more and gift me with an unexpected hemorrhage, I keep some of those massive heavy flow overnight pad-diapers on hand in the house, should I ever need them. I'm hoping I won't ever again.

What other symptoms do you experience, and how do you manage them?
I get cramps and bloating, but the cramps are generally manageable with ibuprofen and the bloating is just something I suck up and deal with. There was one absolutely debilitating bout of cramps I got in high school, where I was doubled over in pain and barely able to move, but fortunately my mom was on hand to nurse me through to comfort. Thanks, Mom!

If you're with someone, does your SO give you special treatment and/or avoid you during your sojourn in the Red Tent?
As one half of a same-sex ladycouple, the special treatment tends to go both ways, and avoidance can tend to be a little more complicated, especially considering that co-habitating females are often prone to falling into a synchronized cycle. I'm always happy to pamper and comfort my suffering significant other with food, backrubs, heating pads, sex, and more. As for avoidance, I'm not grossed out by the whole thing since I'm experiencing it too. I've been lucky in my relationships to rarely be on the receiving end of any menstruation-related volatile mood swings or catastrophic emotional outbursts, and I maintain, with confidence, that the same has been generally true for my SOs, so avoidance in that sense hasn't ever been necessary.

If you're with a guy, is he comfortable with—and willing to—resupply your stock of tampons, pads, painkillers, chocolate, and other menstrual paraphernalia?
Generally not applicable. Plus, using a cup means no resupply runs to the drugstore!

*H/t to @noodle for the thread title. It remains one of my favorite menstrual euphemisms.

 

You're welcome, luv. I will answer once I get through this PMS/Barometric migraine.

 

What does your cycle look like?

Bloody and clumpy. Hey ohhh!

Yay PCOS! Except not really. I was diagnosed finally at the end of my freshman year of college. Before that, I would go for 4 or 5 month stretches without a period, and when it would hit, it would hit with a vengeance - short but intense. I'm talking 3 days of that scene from The Shining. When I was diagnosed, I was prescribed birth control, which was great - except you can't start it until you have your next period, so it was a few more months of the waiting game before I could start.

(Semi-related note - it is scary as fuck to go months without a period regularly while you're sexually active. Even while using other forms of prevention, never knowing if you've missed a period has caused several heart attacks throughout my formative years.)

Once I started the birth control, my cycle got pretty normal, which was awesome. It took a few different prescriptions to find a birth control that worked well and didn't give me any nasty side effects. It totally changed the type of period I have, which has been interesting. While previously I was used to have short intense periods, I noq have longer (6-7 days) and relatively lighter periods. I miss the shorter timeframe, but not the "gush".

I'm thinking that after I finish the next 4 packs of pills that I have, I might try and stop taking them. Now that pregnancy risk isn't really a concern, I've gotten really bad at taking them in a timely manner. The irregularity is more annoying than anything, and after a few years of being regular and being more aware of how my body works, either my body will be used to the cycle and keep going, or I can get used to having an odd cycle.

How do you manage your period?

Since 7th grade, it was all about tampons and a liner. I think I must have an odd shaped vagina, because even when using the proper size and absorbency of tampon, I would get leaks. I thought it was just a part of life, like the time I accidentally leaked on a boyfriend's mattress, leaving a gross stain. Which was mortifying (he was cool about it).

In November, I took a page out of @damnitall's book and started using a Diva Cup. Best decision of my LIFE. I never get weird leaks. I can go all day without worrying about it, and for someone who works retail and is in the lab and is used to constantly running around, it's so convenient not to have to stop and change it out, or worry about having leaks through my pants. This thing is a fucking godsend. Plus I'm morbid, so looking at it is pretty cool.

I think I must be an idiot savant with it too, since the first time I put it in I did it perfectly. It's so fucking easy to use, fucking cheap in the long run, and I don't get nasty dry tampon vagina afterwards. Plus, I can fool around with it in, which is awesome. In the tampon and pad era of my life, those underwear were staying on for the duration. Fuck that shit.

So, Diva Cup, plus a whole fucking lot of Advil.

What other symptoms do you experience, and how do you manage them?

Even when I was irregular, my period never took me by surprise. A few days before my period, I start wanting salty food and meat like nothing else. I guess my body wants sodium and iron. I don't crave sweets. I want a steak and a pile of french fries. Then, a few hours before my period starts, I feel my uterus "gurgle". It's like a stomach growl, but lower and stranger. I don't really have mood swings.

I get cramps still, but less severe now that I'm on the pill. I used to have cramps that made me vomit and pass out, but they're a lot more tame now. I get migraines occasionally though.

Professor just gave me some shit to do, so I'll describe more carnage later.

 

Nonexistent at the moment. ;-)

 

...hm, so basically neither one of you belongs here in this thread.

BEGONE!



...

 

Wait... are you guys all in synch at the moment? I thought that only happened with roommates.

 

Since my SO got an Implanon over 2 years ago, she hasn't had a period either.

 

TMI? No such thing.

I have no problems whatsoever going and getting feminine hygiene products if my significant other (or best friends, or regular friends, or even some random person I don't even know) wants or needs them. Shit can get gross, and I can empathize with not wanting to ruin every pair of lower body clothing you own.

I'm also comfortable with the discussion of such activities, so I know more about the cycles of the women in my life than most guys. I had a big long discussion typed up about my experiences, but realized that it's probably best if I leave discussion of the actual symptoms to the people experiencing them.
That said, being in a co-ed fraternity comprised of approximately 50% females means that syncing is going to happen. Results range from "not terrible" to "DEFCON 2 levels of damage control" depending on the parties involved.

I tend to not overly baby my SO if she's menstruating, for the most part; I'll give them cuddles, chocolate, massages, or anything else they might ask for (or, if I can predict it, what I think they might want), but usually that's not something I wouldn't do if they weren't on their period.
That said, I understand phrases like "My hormones are out of whack" or "why don't YOU try going five days with your uterus being stabbed by pitchforks/ripping itself apart/any other euphemism", but I don't tend to take them as excuses for treating me like dirt. There's only so many times I can take a slew of harsh insults followed by "lol j/k, on my period, can't help it". This might make me an ass or insensitive, I suppose, but acting like an adult when you sometimes don't feel like it is a part of growing up.
There are of course exceptions, and it's not like I expect y'all to act perfectly civil when I know you're going through excruciating pain, but that doesn't mean I need to tolerate being walked all over either.

Also, I'd not heard of Diva Cups before reading this thread. Interesting.

 

The funhouse has been invaded at my place.

 

I went poking around old (old) threads and found this one, in which this gem surely deserves to be shared again.



"A thickened lining of somewhat velvety material..."

Yum.

Thanks, @ZombieSquirrel!

 

I think @Damnitall might have triggered a web synch.. The commies have been in my house for 3 days now.. started the day she started the thread. Coincidence????


Up until last year, I was pretty close to clock work, give or take a week. Then stress, no sleep, and weight gain totally messed with my cycle and I had 4 periods in 10 months. My cycle went from 35-37 days to 55-60 days. I constantly felt "not myself" since so much of that is what the hormone fluctuations are.

I do all the grocery and staples shopping for the house, and not having supplies on hand wasn't an issue last year since I would buy in preparation, and then have no period show up. Extremely frustrating trying to plan vacations, etc and not know if you're going to be inconvenienced.

I do think my period is sentient. It seems to know exactly when it would be the least welcome, most aggravating, and most difficult to deal with - including making an major appearance on my wedding day, during the wedding ceremony. Talk about wedding night killer

 

What does your cycle look like?

I usually have a 28-32 day cycle. It centers around 30 days, but a little variation month to month (especially lengthening during the stressful months) is to be expected for me.

How do you manage your period?

I'm a tampon girl. I've considered getting a cup for the last year or so, but I just haven't done it. I do so much athletic activity that involves being upside down (aerial, acrobatics) that I'm a little afraid of a cup coming dislodged during a drop and causing a wave of blood. Ok, a lot afraid of that scenario! Because of that, I've stuck to tampons (and pantyliners for light days), and if I'm going to buy tampons for my athletic activity anyway, I might as well just stick with them.

What other symptoms do you experience, and how do you manage them?

I get serious cramping and back pain the first couple days of my period. This is usually accompanied by referred pain (my guess is that some of my pelvic nerves and my femoral nerve get attacked by all the inflammation/cramping), especially down my R thigh and knee. I get super awesome mood swings for the few days before I start, too. My boyfriend has my cycle pretty well mapped out, so thankfully he doesn't take my being unusually emotionally volatile personally during the week or so before I bleed.

If you're with someone, does your SO give you special treatment and/or avoid you during your sojourn in the Red Tent?

Sometimes it's avoidance (mood), otherwise it's cuddles. He'll sometimes run to the store for me if I'm craving something, but usually I have to go with him. He's never had to buy me tampons personally, but he does go to the store with me for them. He will pick up some little chocolates or something on his way home from work if he knows I'm craving it, but that doesn't guarantee he won't eat the majority of them before the end of my period. He has less chocolate self control than I do.

 

What does your cycle look like?
Thanks to hormones, it looks like exactly every 26th day. 3 -6 days of light flow.
Before or without b/c, it was two weeks of PMS, two weeks of flow, every month.
I've had pills that made me skip cycles (not good), give me heavier flows... one that actually made me bleed so heavily each month that I ended up with anemia.

How do you manage your period?
Sprintec b/c. I've tried every b/c pill or hormone made, since I was 14. Even tried a few months without anything couple of years ago. It was hell.
Most of the time I can just wear a panty liner. I throw in a tampon for yoga, crossfit, the pool/beach, etc. I used to have to wear giant mattresses and change them every two hours or so.



What other symptoms do you experience, and how do you manage them?
Headaches, mood swings, before Sprintec--violent cramps, retching, exhaustion. Now I get really emotional and tired, but not as aggressive as I used to feel.
Depo made me feel like I was losing my mind, so no version of that will ever enter my body again.
My chemistry shifted, too, so no more progesterone-based pills, either. My body resists foreign objects, so no cups, implants, or Essure for b/c either.
When I was younger, I had cervical dysplasia (precancerous cells) and they did cryosurgery at 21 y.o. It screwed up my pH, caused horrific pelvic pain for years and required pap smears every three months for three years. I hated my vagina and uterus for years.
It took my awesome SO to get over that frustration and anger, when I met him years later.
My PMS symptoms can be exhausting, so I usually hide them from people.
I'm just really glad to be back on the Sprintec after three months of hell,
being told I couldn't get it out here and getting another "acceptable alternative." It was NOT acceptable.

If you're with someone, does your SO give you special treatment and/or avoid you during your sojourn in the Red Tent?
Nah, nothing really different. But, he will ask sometimes if I'm being unreasonable, if the Commies are coming.

If you're with a guy, is he comfortable with—and willing to—resupply your stock of tampons, pads, chocolate and other menstrual paraphernalia?
I so rarely have to reup my supply that it's never come up. No chocolate cravings, just red wine. Which he'd be happy to indulge, Commies or not.

 

It's one of my FAVORITE videos of ALL time.

Just realized I'm going to have to teach all of these things to Sandra. Sigh. I'll just let her watch this video. It won't damage her at ALL!

 

You think it's odd you started on the day the thread did? So did my wife, and she's not even a member!

My first wife had heavy, painful periods, which came by stealth. She was always surprised. I never was, as she was regular at 29 days, and her skin chemistry made her perfume smell different in the last day before.

She also had a wedding day period. Kinda summed up our relationship.

Current wife has it much less painfully, but not regular, varying 28 to 35 days. This does catch me by surprise at times.

 

Saw this a few yrs. back:

I wonder if this is the same idiot that ok'd that commercial, "It has wings! Does it fly?"

 

Is there a time where you can try one out without anyone else around? I used to use tampons for going to the gym, and would occasionally get leaks. I use my cup now and it's stuck up there for vigorous activity. It basically makes a suction that nothing can escape if you put it in correctly. Obviously I'm not doing anything as rigorous as you are, but I've definitely had more success with the cup than tampons in any sort of physical activity.