Food Drinks

Look, I keep giving her down the road and this one still comes back! Not my decision.

 

I'm frankly tired of this women turning up at our social events.

 

I'm out on Budweiser. Looking into an organic lager. Surely there is one?

 

I suggest switching to Laphroaig. Goes down smooth.

 

Yea I'm needing something smooth. And id like to be able to look forward to a smooth ending the morning after. My browning sessions have been simply awful. I'm tired of the pain.

 

The morning grunt of a good brownout heals my soul after a night of heavy smooth drinking. Full disclosure as I have the fallen sitting just to my left and she's wearing purple scrubs and kicking that one leg like she does when she's randy. Pretty sure she's either randy or hungry or both.

Remember, she's been fuckin Phil for years now. She's dancing now to some kind of cock rock that I'm not familiar with yet refuses to take a drink even though she has plenty of Miller Lites. Can't figure this one out as now she's demanding that we play cards. I'm going to get the cards, she's taking command of the jukebox.

 

Is her name Mary?

 

No her name is Angel. I'm not allowed to talk to Mary.

 

I am drinking a protein shake of LIES. Double chocolate flavor. More like double ass flavor. Ugh.

 

Who is lying?

 

Not us

 

I'm simply enjoying talking about my life.

 

Angel just whipped my ass at and in spades. 3 man spades each for his own game and we quit at her lead of 415 to my 143. The man in the middle, my buddy, is in there just nailing this one to the wall with a final score beforenication of 227. The meats were good. Not a fan of everything wrapped in bacon especially when it's expensive Wright's bacon. Look you can't just put low sodium Dale's on everything and expect everything to come out at the same time. These people seem to think that's ok.

Mama don't care! Woofed everything down said it was tasty, whooped my ass in spades and then conjoined with her lover at some new game- God only knows what games they're playing in there as she was randy and hungry when she got here kicking that leg in those scrubs like she does.

Overheard them in the tent a few weeks back (I was outside with the dog tending the fire), she's hollering "WHO'S PUSSY IS THIS, WHO'S PUSSY IS THIS", and I'm out there trying to cover the dogs ears or run it down a trail to get her away from this filfth the whole time thinking of my buddy pounding it out on the inflatable mattress and he's probably thinking...is this my pussy? Then he realizes it was Phil's yesterday so where do we go from here?

They left me alone at the campsite the next day because they had to go to a noon party at Tony's. Left me to pack up the whole campsite by myself and to top it off, I'm a flashlight junkie and my favorite headlamp had gone missing. Last time I saw it was on drunk buddy's stupid bald head. This is a $100 headlamp. I'm thinking Angel stole it cause she's jealous of me and my old friend's relationship and she's new and she's a whore and she knew I loved this headlamp, orrrrr. She needed a gift for one of the grandchirrens or both. Wouldn't put it past a bitch like this to thieve and gift my stuff.

I'm sitting out here in my spot in the garage with the dog listening to the rain. Hope to join your community in earnest, not as Ernest.

The cole slaw was great though tonight. I made it.

 

I only buy back fat bacon.

 

So no advice. You're worthless.
--- merged: Nov 7, 2015 3:54 AM ---
Just sent you a scathing email. How could you join a community with this attitude? We're new here, man!

 

Look this is indeed our new home. Yet my poor attitude remains. What gives?

 

Taney, this is JLS here- I think these are good people and don't want to mess around on them. You need to come clean on the fact that you didn't serve in the military. I greatly support anyone in the military even if it's not our country and stealing valor from those who risked even a little isn't something to toy around with in person or on the internet (lots of real people). No shit man, let's bring it back to a little funning back and forth minus your false military bit, ok?

Those who don't know, Taney didn't understand what he was doing was that wrong. I know this guy and can assure you that he didn't mean to offend anyone when it comes to something as serious as this. He's a good man, just a bubble off plumb.

 

I crap my pants. Reasons?

 

Hell, who hasn't had a little downtown brown?

 

Look I'll crap my pants anytime I hear I firework go off! Ideas?