Escort for 25th Birthday?

Hey all. I'm a 24-year-old virgin guy, and my birthday is rapidly approaching. I'm perfectly happy with my life -- I'm in shape, have friends, am a nice guy, and love my job -- and I don't really care that I'm a virgin. My field is engineering, so it's very difficult to meet women in my social circles. The bar scene has never been attractive to me, so hookups have never happened. I'm doing a lot to change my social contacts, but it may be a while until I meet someone I'd like to go out with.

I'm starting this thread because I'm seriously considering getting an escort if I'm still a virgin by 25. My complete lack of sexual experience could be a real problem when I actually start dating. Full disclosure: I've only kissed one girl, and haven't done anything further than that. I don't think there's an explanation for my lack of experience that a prospective girl would accept without thinking me odd or strange. How many of you ladies would be taken aback if a 25-year-old told you he was a virgin? I think that getting an escort would be the perfect way to learn a bit about sex and not be completely unprepared when I start dating someone.

So what do you think? I've heard that this used to be a time-honored tradition. I don't particularly feel that doing this is immoral, though I'd be interested to hear counterpoints. Are there consequences to doing this that I'm not thinking about? Thanks for your consideration!

 

I see you're in Atlanta. There is a good sized social scene for young professionals there outside of bar hopping.

You'll probably find it more awkward explaining to your next girlfriend that your only experience was with a hooker, more so than explaining that you're a virgin.

 

My dad took me to a brothel when I was 17 (in Rotterdam) for similar purpose. I was terrified to be honest. I'm not sure I'd be much less uncomfortable now.

I cant talk about you so I will talk about myself. *I* was very shy growing up and to a large degree I still am although I mask it a lot better now. I didnt go all the way, and it didnt cure me of my shyness at all. I dont think going all the way would have done.

Being a virgin at 25 is later than average probably, but it isnt as odd as you probably expect. Your future girlfriend is almost certainly not going to be put off by that (and you can just lie until you know her better and can admit you were a bit embarassed to admit it up front)

I used to tell myself that the reason I didnt do the things that some of my mates did was moral, that I wasnt "into" one night stands. But the truth is also that the first chance I had I went along with it. I'm not saying youre the same, thats just me. The advise I would give my 17 year old self would be to relax, to just believe in myself have the confidence to be myself, and to know myself. Not to let the first time be a big issue in my mind... just live life, be social, flirt and talk to girls you like and sometimes it will go further and sometimes it wont. Dont do things you hate but dont lie to yourself.

If that is any help to you, thats good. If it isnt, thats fine too.

_

And I dont think going with a hooker will cause you a huge damage either, but it probably wont make you feel any better.

 

Counterpoints? You don't have to pay for sex because there are plenty of women that actually like it enough to do it for free.

You're 24 and in engineering? Are you online much? Have you considered online dating sites like OkCupid or PlentyOfFish?

 

Seriously. And meeting people is hardly the most difficult part. With booze and diminished inhibitions anyone can come across as interesting during the first meet but keeping that third or fourth date going with good conversation takes skill and a hell of a lot of effort put into making yourself an interesting person. That's work and it never stops.

If it's what you want then go ahead and get laid on your 25th but don't go lose your virginity for the sake of avoiding what could be an uncomfortable conversation in some possible future relationship.

 

I got to say that I am a little jealous, I'm not going to say when I gave up my virginity for three reasons
one : someone is bound to take it as bragging
2: someone will have to top me
three: it is so uninportant

I'm jealous because it struck me that if I had waited until an age when I could have really apprecated the moment instead of being overwhelmed by ther fact
"I'm getting some, I'm getting some"
it might have been soo much better

Two things Manic
Forget about some arbitrary deadline, when it happens, it happens enjoy

and

think really hard if you want your first time to be with a paid stranger

 

IMO, Issmmm's hit a very iportant nail on the head.

The question then becomes: What, specifically, do you want Your First Time to mean to you?

As you ponder that, the number 25 can begin to fade. So can 24 and 26.

And Borla's point about having a chat --just for chatting's sake - with everyone you interact with when you go out, makes a lot of sense to me.

 

I did have a huge miss though
not Manic, but amire, sorry wrong name

 

If you want some ass, then get some ass. If you want and relationship then DO NOT AT ALL PAY FOR SEX. Most women tend to frown on the hooker sex acts. I think the best way is to flat out chat. Use your job to start the ball. Use hobbies to keep up interactions. Hell, you are on the net, try chat rooms just to talk to people with a safety net. Then hang out at places like your favorite star bucks and strike up more convos.

 

Online dating sites are perfect for people who have difficulty with the singles scene. You can be as casual or serious as you want. I met my wife through chemistry.com and I know others who use various sites for hook-ups.

 

Any woman who recoils when you say 'I wanted to wait until it meant something' is probably the hooker you wanted to pay to pluck your cherry. Think mort adults will agree, its better done with some feeling.
Yes start talking to people more as Borla says. What Borla didnt tell you is that Mastiff pups are cleavage magnets. Son said he had never had so much ample bosom sweeping towards him, at the last instant dropping down and saying what a cutie. He would know they must be talking to the dog as his penis wasnt hanging out. Walk a dog - once a week even. If you are walking it to help someone, in a charitable manner so to say, my friends son swears by it. He said mum, I tell them I do animal rescue stuff, and they think I am lovely (when his mum asked where do you get them from). I should think a lot of people wished they had waited - in retrospect. Its better when there are feelings involved, when the two of you go on explorations together.

 

I say relax man.

Honestly, if you find a nice girl, who likes you for who you are, she isn't going to care that your a virgin, that's just an issue you're needlessly making up in your head.

Like others have said, the sex or lack there of isn't your problem. I was the first of my group of friends in high school to loose my virginity, you'd think I would have been king playa, but alas. For a whole host of reasons, all of them to do with my mind, I haven't been with a woman in years.

Honestly mate, I don't think an escort will fix anything, digging within and finding yourself will.

 

There's nothing wrong with getting an escort. I have a couple friends who travel all over the world escorting when they desire. It's an interesting set up.

Personally, if I was a male virgin in my mid-twenties, I'd get an escort for my first time.

1. Gets it out of the way. You no longer have to stress about the potential admittance of virginity to a partner. Yes, some girls prefer their partners to be inexperienced, but most of the women I have met prefer their partners to have more experience than they do.

2. You're having sex with someone who knows what they're doing. And, you know, they can be really sweet about it. You can learn things from them that take years of poor communication with other women.

3. You don't have to worry about gossip. You know, if you're one of those guys that is honest about your lack of experience or worried about your performance. You're not going to bump into your escort at a bar and she's not going to tell all her friends about the 24 year old virgin who didn't have a clue as to what he was doing.

4. You avoid the clingers and the crazies. Don't have to worry about them haunting your footsteps or declaring love. Don't have to worry about the awkward morning after conversation. (That's if you're just going for a one-nighter.)

5. You're not using someone for sex under the pretext of a date, like you could be with a dating site. I'm sure that Sally-whatever wouldn't want to learn that your primary motivation in getting on a dating site (not to mention, most guys have such a limited success rate on them) and going out with her was to lose your virginity.

You know, really, my first time was fine. I was with someone I was all mushy over and we had fun. But if I had been able to get a male escort, someone I could pay for an entire afternoon and evening to show me the ropes and really put their expertise to good use, I would have. Of course, that's knowing what I do now. It's probably a little more intimidating when you don't have the experience to back it up.

Oh, and to answer your question, if I encountered a 25 year old virgin, I'd either back up and let someone else have him or, if I liked his attitude, I'd take him under my wing for an evening. Teach him how to flirt, how to present himself, kiss, oral, maybe sex. But that's because I believe in sex education. Guys have a really tough lot in a lot of ways that we don't really think about. I really don't like the amount of pressure we, as a society, put on men to be sexually experienced.

 

1. I am an engineer; my college classes from junior and senior year had 3 girls out of 50 total; the 3 were a solid 3.0 out of 10 on average. Any of the girls who were decently cute were hit on left and right by everyone - I had no chance. The official statistics were 14% girls, including sub-majors (like CS) that tend to have more girls. So I feel ya.

2. I also lost it late, early to mid 20's.

3. But I didn't hire someone - I think you'll regret it.

4. Just find a few friends (2-3 guys total is ok) - hit up some bars and clubs, hop around, drink to have fun and socialize amongst yourselves. Eventually someone will bring a girl or two and you'll eventually meet a girl who also has an interest in you (either for sex or for relationship). Either way you'll get there. Notice I said "someone will bring a girl." Rule of thumb is its much easier getting laid through existing social circles (even 2nd or 3rd degree contacts that you meet), than just walking up and meeting people at Starbucks or a bar.

5. If you hire a hooker you'll destroy any impetus you have to leave your home, leave work, leave the computer, and to start becoming more social. You NEED to socialize more, and to improve your social skills more. Don't by shy about reading up on all that player-guide garbage on the net. That's how I started, and while now I realize it is just garbage, they all teach you one thing: to be more confident. They teach you to walk up to girls and say cheesy lines (they don't admit its cheesy). The real fruit here is in not what you say or if you get laid, its in you getting rejected or ending up chatting with more girls. The first 50 times you'll fail, but at least you'll have improved and developed a tougher skin.

6. If you must, you can go halfway and hit up a strip club. Go with a guy friend you trust, and just stare, ogle, and then get a few cheap lap dances (go in without a credit card and with a max $ amount with you, like say, $100 tops).

7. But like someone said above, just talk talk talk. I once randomly talked to a girl in the elevator of my apartment. The first time I just said hi and got her name. The next time (like 1 month later) I got her fb. Then on fb she "needed hw help". So I suggested to come over and drink (so much for hw!). So talking randomly is great (!) especially in real situations..

 

although i agree to a point with Poetry's points to an extent, i think you are at a crossroads. you can either, as they say in 40-year-old virgin, "slay about 20-30 hood rats" to get some experience doing the horizontal tango.

or

you can meet ladies similar to you in terms of personality, interests, sexual (in)experience that you genuinely enjoy being with and when you feel like you wanna lay down your v-card it'll be with someone 'special'

like ism, i wasn't worried so much about who i was about to do it with as much as i was about the fact that i was about to do it. in retrospect, i kinda regret giving that succubus the pleasure of putting another notch on her belt, but at the same time, she did teach me alot. its all about your choice dude. dont let some arbitrary line decide for you, do what feels right, and if that means waiting until you're 50 or if it means calling up Sandy Vagina right now. do it because YOU want to do it

 

If you're into older women, a cougar might be the way to go. A lot of them are aggressive enough that you wouldn't have to do the approaching, and plenty of them have a fantasy about being some young guy's first so your inexperience could be an asset. Just find out where the cougars hang out and use Borla's technique for starting an innocent conversation. You'll get propositioned before you know it.

 

I'll just say this. If you want to get yourself a hooker, then get yourself a hooker. However, DO NOT mistake the physical act as anyway having some sort of emotion connection in this situation. As a former sailor, I've known a few people that had their first encounter with a woman of negotiable virtue. The emotional aftermath was a mixed bag. One of them even went as far as to marry her. A hooker is nothing more then assisted masturbation. Just keep that in mind, and have fun if you decide that is the way you want to go.

 

Can't really add much to what's already been said, but I remember my first time... two hours of begging, followed by 30 minutes of crying.

*stops reminiscing, starts drinking heavily*

 

Go to Eros.com or one of their competitors and pick one out. Seriously, there's no downside provided you keep your mouth shut about it. If you can live with it and can afford it, I see no issues at all. As I read it, you're looking to get laid - period. If your ethics allow you to hire that desire out, go for it. If they don't, then that's different. There are times where I look at the dry spells of my 20's and wish that I'd hired an escort here or there just to make me feel less desperate.