Etiquette and common courtesy

Yesterday evening I went out for dinner with a friend. Normally our occasional shopping / dinner outings are very pleasant and a great way to kick off the weekend.
The food and atmosphere at our Italian ristorante of choice is always top notch and we scarcely noticed the man seated alone at a nearby table. When his food arrived he dug in like he was coming off a week long fast. A good appetite is okay, especially considering the quality of food there ... but this hardy soul was shoveling it in and chewing with his mouth open. The noise he was making as he smacked his lips was horrible! I noticed my friends normally attractive features were transformed by disgust, her color was high, and I knew that she was mere moments away from making a scene with our neanderthal friend.
I was almost frantic as I arranged for us to be relocated to the most distant table available. The staff there is excellent and we were helped ... quickly ... thank god. I feel sorry for anyone that did have to try to enjoy their meal in proximity to Og the barbarian.

 

Blame his parents. He's probably ate like that since he was little, never was shown proper table manners.

 

:facepalm:

 

'Zounds, davynn - MY features are transformed with disgust, just reading this.

I'm thinking, now, of two levels of childhood deprivation.

One level is at the level of simple skills: eat quietly. A person grows to adulthood and may, IMO, surely, notice that the wider world eats quietly, and change h/er behaviour,whereby, if deprived of early training in eating, it can be updated.
Another level is a skill which could be said to govern skills. In this case, the skill of giving a flying bugger about the customs and courtesies of those around us. There are Borla's selfish people. They may be simply oblivious, but I'd call that a culpable lack of awareness, given that, unless they are younger than 20, they have probably encountered enough of the wider world to 'oughta know bettah'.

You have reminded me of a gross experience of about 10 years ago. Bunny's Indian Restaurant. If you had been sitting with me and my GF of that time, you would have been aware of a dark area with a round table which seats four. It was equidistant from most of the other tables. Four loud men were there to settle their systems at the end of an alcoholic evening elsewhere. Their foul presence was brutal, but short; however, one of their number was an incarnate belch of indolence and belligerence. When they had finished, his three loud companions did not sweep him away with them. They left him. He was like the group's human dogwee mark, and his stench offended all. No table was spared from the spotlight of his insulting remarks, and his bulk quelled thoughts of remonstrance: even the waiters displayed a subservience to the abuser in preference to the service they owed the other diners.

I try to pick apart this event. I am aware of a style of courtesy which includes the injunction to 'not make a fuss' to the extent that people who transgress are able to get away with it, especially if one's status is that of fellow guest or customer. I am glad to hear that your waiting staff took responsibility for making things right, once informed.

Take care.
--- merged: Feb 4, 2012 5:20 PM ---
( Fremen ... for the last week, I've been meaning to comment on your avatar: Eastwood, Van Cleef and Wallach. A legendary Trinity. Kudos to them, and to you for honouring them.)

 

Thank you. I enjoy the works of all three gentlemen, but especially The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
I was looking for the movie's famous theme song on YouTube and someone had used a still of the actors, one on top of the other, as the first frame in the video.
I was struck with how their eyes seem to be looking back and forth, like in the last scene in the movie when they have their showdown in the cemetery.
They're standing equidistant in a triangle, gauging each other with just their eyes moving, waiting to have a 3-way shootout. Very suspenseful.

Anyway, I thought the pics would make a neat ani-gif, but lacked the skills and software to pull it off.
I remembered Speed_Gibson being a gifted photo-manipulator and asked him if he had the time. He obliged, et voilà!

/my apologies, davynn
//threadjack over

 

I try not to get offended by the trivial shortcomings of my fellow humans. They occasionally have good excuses to fail to live up to my expectations. Plus, I suspect that it must violate some rule of proper protocol (not to mention common sense) to assume unflattering things about a person based solely on one mildly unpleasant chance encounter with them.

 

I'm rarely offended by the "trivial" shortcomings of my fellow humans. I think that I handled things in a humane way and was more than kind in my reportage. Maybe you had to be there ... were you? Kidding

 

To be fair, you did compare the dude to a caveman, which doesn't seem all that kind to me. It sounds like the loud eater wasn't the one with the problem here. Fortunately, the situation seems to have worked out acceptably for all involved.

I do think it odd that issues of parental ability always seem to come up in threads like these. It's as if some folks believe that any and all possible character flaws are the sole responsibility of a person's parents. I'm certain that all my flaws exist despite my parents best efforts, and I laugh a hearty, contempt-filled laugh at any serious attempts to hold them accountable.

 

"To be fair you did compare the dude to a caveman" ... and a barbarian, don't forget that. Obviously the loud eater wasn't the one with the problem ... I agree, he was as happy as a pig in s*** ... oh dear, I did it again!

 

I like Og, sounds like he doesn't much care for the ample frivolities of table etiquette.
We should get a beer together sometime, I bet he's the kinda guy who just loves living life.

What ever happened to 'live and let live'?

 

I guess I'd rather be the pig merrily rolling in shit, not hurting anyone, and having a grand old time than the type of person who's so caught up in their own sense of propriety that they can't even relax when a pig is in their midst.

Really, I read the OP and I don't feel bad for the guy enjoying his meal, I feel bad for your friend, or at least the state of mind she was in at the restaurant.

 

And when I say "feel bad for" I mean, like, you know, "pity".

 

Honestly, I didn't think this thread would generate much if any interest, let alone controversy. I thought I was being very measured in my telling ... this *ahem* gentleman [was] sitting at an adjacent table, and "the whole purpose of going to a restaurant is to focus on what's going on at your table, with your food, and enjoy the general ambiance [without intruding on others at their tables]." (thanks Snowy)
If he'd had some some legitimate physical or mental disability that caused him to [appear] as a rude, inconsiderate, self absorbed, asshole with no thought of others, (you see Bodkin ... my original post was being kind, comparatively speaking) then no one would be reading this.
Uncle phil may have put it all in perspective, "de gustibus non disputandum est..." if I can take that to mean - it's a matter of personal taste, then my personal sensibilities indeed were offended just as if someone had deliberately passed gas or picked their nose in my presence ... however I would have been more than pleased to relinquish my former seating arrangement to Bodkin as he seems to be relatively immune to what would describe as boorish behavior. No apologies shall be forthcoming for my own personal tastes or upbringing since they include respect for others.

 

Since when does respect for others include labeling a person as a 'rude, inconsiderate, self absorbed, asshole with no thought of others'? after a single encounter of lousy table manners?

 

...but he had pants on, right?