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Fifty Shades of Choad: 9er and Baraka do chick lit crit

Discussion in 'Tilted Art, Photography, Music & Literature' started by Plan9, Jul 8, 2012.

  1. Speed_Gibson

    Speed_Gibson Hacking the Gibson

    Location:
    Wolf 359
    Watched most of the Kids in the Hall shows when they first aired, and watched Brain Candy when it first hit the theatres. It was better than SNL in the 90's; no comparison to the utter crap that is SNL now. That was prime viewing on late night along with Forever Knight. Silk Stalkings and Dark Justice were good as well in their right.
    edit: in related news - They now wrap the 50 Shades of Poorly Written Literature in plastic at walmart to prevent you from reading them before buying them. I glanced through one of them briefly before they did that and I had to put it down quickly. Plan9 is "taking one for the team" by reading these; there is a genuine risk of IQ points dropping progressively the more you read them.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2013
    • Like Like x 3
  2. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    Aaah, Silk Stockings... what a slutty yet delicious '90s cop-solves-murder romp.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2013
  3. The author is married to Dave Foley? No wonder she has no concept of actual heterosexual relations.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Cayvmann

    Cayvmann Very Tilted

    Kids in the Hall, baby
     
  5. Dura

    Dura New Member

    Location:
    In the ether.
    I don't know if you are serious about the face-crotch thing but I know it goes on out there and it is one of the few things I don't like in bed. I have met some hot dudes with great faces. I have had really great sexy sex with guys that would do whatever.. I have even had sexy sex with someone who's face I found unbelievably gorgeous, chiseled, classically great looking, and he was in great shape. I was even a virgin once who desperately wanted to have sex, with hot celebrities and whatnot. And I am currently in love with a face for the ages. And I never have nor do I want to want to rub my crotch on any of these guys faces. I aim for the penis. That does the job. The face is for looking. I had a guy lower me to just above his mouth before and it just felt stupid. Sitting all the way down would just make me feeling like, well, an alien facehugger.
     
  6. Dura

    Dura New Member

    Location:
    In the ether.
    So sad for the guy who has had bad bathroom sex!
    Sex in the shower and tub have been some of my favorite things.
    Tips for the shower, fromthe female perspective: it helps to be able to touch your nose to your knees so you can grab his ankles.
    Tips for the male: if he's bent over holding your ankles, you hold the wall with one hand and all times and her with the other.
    Everything should work out fine.
    In the tub: have only done this once because tubs kind of bother me but he sat still while I rode, either direction. Very nice.
    Good luck!
     
  7. Fremen

    Fremen Allright, who stole my mustache?

    Location:
    E. Texas
    *holds his forefinger and thumb an inch apart, while viewing your head in the distance through the gap*
     
  8. Dura

    Dura New Member

    Location:
    In the ether.
    "Wetness level of the female audience’s panties: Savannah, Georgia"

    choking. choking!
     
  9. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    Wow, Dura... you REALLY like my 50 Shades crap.

    30 likes in 10 minutes?

    Craziness.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2013
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Dura

    Dura New Member

    Location:
    In the ether.
    I am a fast reader. Dude I needed a good laugh and I got a hundred of em. I am a big fan of sarcasm...Cracked.com...you should write for them.
     
  11. Lirpa

    Lirpa Vertical

    You've somehow managed to make this plot compelling, 9er. I'll do some literary criticism of the next chapter--with all of my one semester of college literary criticism training, if you post another review. I might even try my hand at the deconstructionist perspective, though I think feminist perspective or maybe even marxist would be easiest given the subject matter. Or, I could go for broke and do a deconstructionist feminist-marxist perspective.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  12. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    Please do.
     
  13. Lirpa

    Lirpa Vertical

    I'll see what I can whip up. Or whom.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

    The movie is out (or coming out)

    Since you guys didn't make it through the book, you should do what every school child has done...watch the movie and report on that.

    I would love if the two of you could go to the theatre together, but understand I that's not feasible. I don't think I could wait until it's out on DVD and you guys watch and review together via chat. That would be hilarious though.

    Please @baraka_guru and @plan9 PLEASE!!!!
     
  15. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    They should use the Cliff Notes for Fifty Shades of Grey :)

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 3
  16. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    Actually that should be amended to say they had 'badly written sex' or 'pretty boring sex'.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  17. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Well, as long as people learn...

    We want to encourage extra-curricular activities. ;)
     
  18. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    Let me think about it.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    • Like Like x 1
  20. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    This review from The New Yorker is pure gold.

     
    • Like Like x 4