Funny Things You Found On The Net !

To start a new page, a old joke from Uncle Phil !

had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend :

The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.

He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long...

The mistress:

Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and a mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night...

Then I had to share my story:

When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.

When he came in the door and saw me he said:

"What's for dinner, Zorro?"

_________________

xoxoxoo

 

Another Uncle Phil classic......

blonde joke

Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Lynn, who was nailing down the house siding, would reach into her nail
pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'

Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'

Judy got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'

xoxoxoo

 

​

 

Well, this clears up a few things for me...

 

--- Double Post Merged, Sep 26, 2019, Original Post Date: Sep 26, 2019 ---

 

​

 

​

 

Meanwhile, back on the loading dock...

 

Credit @bobby for this one ^.