hm, clingy...? Maybe.

So the boyfriend called me clingy. He's been telling me that for the past two years now since we've been dating and I've been trying not to take it to heart. Only it still hurts to hear. Long distance relationships are GOING to make a girl clingy. I thought I was changing. I've been giving him his space, I haven't been constantly asking him what he's doing or where he's going, and I wait for him to call me when he wants to. I never call him unless I absolutely have to or we haven't talked in awhile. The last time we talked today was at noon. He had classes around 4 or something, and then around 8 (hours after we still haven't talked) I called him.

Now lemme tell ya, my boyfriend IS a sweetheart to me. He's helped me out of so much shit and he really does care about me. I know it. But i don't think he realizes HOW bruised and emotional/sensitive I am about things.

Anyway, he asked why I called and I said because I missed him. But he said I was being clingy. Then he said his phone was dying and he needed to finish up some homework so he'd call me later.
GUYS, is that really being clingy? What's clingy to you? Just so I know what else I can do to prevent being told I'm needy, clingy, attached, or addicted. Thanks.

 

Just back off a bit. Pretty soon he'll wonder why you haven't called him.

I do the same w/ my gf, I sometimes wonder where she is at 11:30pm and I haven't talked to her for 8 hours. Personally, I don't think it's clingy, but maybe that's just me.

 

One thing he does is call me every morning to say good morning. We'll talk and if he needs to go, I'll let him. And like I said, I won't call him like ever. I'll let him call me. Then he goes and bitches "what didn't you miss me?" haha. I know he's joking, but still. Make up your mind. I'm either clingy or a bitch for not BEING clingy. Haha. I always overthink things.

 

KirStang, you're clingy. If it's 11:30 on a Tuesday, she's probably in bed.

JESUS.

...

Restless,

I'd say one call a day unless you've got something super important going on is completely satisfactory if that has been your experience with his "good morning" calls. I mean, touching base once every 24 hours is more than some married people living in the same house get to talk.

 

I think your good morning call is rather sweet. He may well have been not at his best for conversation if say he is writing notes for an essay, or working in group. On occassion, during your morning call, you could ask 'fancy continuing this chat tonight?' Thats an offer, he may say no, but if he does say yes, thats like an invite so I dont think that comes under clingy - but chaps do often have an odd way of looking at things. Everything works out the way it is supposed to in the end.

 

Yea except she wasn't in bed. She was at dance practice. Nice.

 

Wait, are you dating 19 year old bouncy-bounces again? You dirty dog.

 

"On occasion, during your morning call, you could ask 'fancy continuing this chat tonight?' Thats an offer, he may say no, but if he does say yes, thats like an invite so I don't think that comes under clingy"
BooYaka! + finger snap /me high-fives chinese crested.

@Restless - that cuts through all the uncertainty. Interesting conversations could come of it, but they would be on the table and clear rather than hazy.

While we're talking about making 'dates' for phone calls, there are a whole range of moods and activities which are available for evening phone-calls which are less so in the morning, and vice versa, therefore flexibility of appointment could be a good thing. Also, Skype audio gives superior sound quality and is hands-free. Various friends and I keep audio open while we get on with our respective work and exchange comments from time to time.

 

My wife and I lived 4 hours apart for a year while we were engaged.
I am not a telephoney kind of guy.
We spoke every few days, typically 2-3 times a week.
It was plenty for me and she was secure enough to understand that.
Happily married for 14 years now.

 

Long distance may be difficult but I think you and you're boyfriend are going about it right. I think calling in the morning was quite "cute." Absence makes the heart grow fonder, asking to "talk to you later?" in the morning might allow you to call him later without the clinginess.... Whether you are, or you aren't, to me, it doesn't matter, you both seem rather committed to each other and you love each other, and if there's a like cling now and then, just shows that you want to be around him. I don't necessarily think its a negative thing, in your case, love is love, just enjoy it, and each other.