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How did you learn about sex?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Lindy, Jul 9, 2018.

Page 1 of 2
  1. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    How did you learn about sex? I don’t mean “the birds and the bees,” and I don’t mean how to practice “safe sex” or about birth control, or “how to pick up girls.”

    I’m asking about the mechanics, the nuts (sorry) and bolts of sex.
    How did you learn about how to suck cock? Or eat pussy? Or other non-PIV sexual activities?
    How did you learn to explore new positions?
    Guys, how did you learn endurance, and to avoid premature ejaculation?
    How did you learn about your less commonplace erogenous zones? I mean, those areas other than between your legs.
    How did you learn to please your partner? Or, to please yourself?
    How did you choose your longer term sex partners? Or did you let them choose you?
    How did you come to terms with your proclivities that might be considered a little kinky or off plumb?


    Did you learn from books? I mean like Sex Positions Illustrated, Kama Sutra, or The Joy of Sex.
    Did you get knowledge from friends? Relatives? (My cousin Christine was a wealth of info.)
    Did you learn from online porn, either videos or written?
    Did you have a partner or lover that was your sex teacher or mentor?


    Or did you just muddle on through?


    I had a mentor.
    Not a relationship mentor. Or a life mentor. A sex mentor.
    I didn’t realize it at the time, but that’s what he was.

    He died a couple of months ago in our hometown, and I just found out last week. It hit me much harder than I ever would have dreamed. I’m still dealing with the shock and the loss. I’ll probably have more to say, here and probably other threads as well.
     
    Lindy, Jul 9, 2018
    #1
  2. fflowley

    fflowley Don't just do something, stand there! Donor

    Teach I think I was out sick that day!
    Is there a make up class.

    More to say later.........
     
    fflowley, Jul 9, 2018
    #2
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  3. Lordeden

    Lordeden Part of the Problem

    Location:
    Redneckhell, NC
    Steven King's "IT" and "The Tommyknockers". It had the orgy in the sewers between a bunch of virgins and Tommyknockers straight up explained the mechanics of sex in a conversation between two characters.

    Between those things, my 10 year old self learned about sex beyond "Two adults do it and it involves naughty bits".
     
    Lordeden, Jul 9, 2018
    #3
    • Like Like x 2
  4. DAKA

    DAKA DOING VERY NICELY, THANK YOU Donor

    Location:
    150 miles North of SOUTHERNMOST POINT IN THE US
    Well, one summer ...at BAND CAMP
     
    DAKA, Jul 9, 2018
    #4
    • Like Like x 2
  5. martian

    martian Server Monkey Staff Member

    Location:
    Mars
    Is there any way to learn other than by doing? I sat through sex ed class in school like every other adolescent boy and girl, and giggled uncomfortably while my gym coach/health teacher did his best to remain stoic and professional in his descriptions of male and female anatomy and how those things interact. But all the fun stuff, that I learned by playing and experimenting and being played with and experimented on. I don't really credit one specific woman with educating me. There were several, and each of them had something new to teach.
     
    martian, Jul 9, 2018
    #5
    • Like Like x 1
  6. ASU2003

    ASU2003 Very Tilted

    Location:
    Where ever I roam
    I had to look it up at the library and piece things together. Sex Ed in school was better than some places, but not the OMGYes.com type of graphic detail that young me would have liked. I remember the main question I had was how the vulva opened up. Were the muscles down there tough to spread?

    I did have access to the Internet in 1995, and there were a few pictures on-line back then. The audio from Real Sex on scrambled HBO and the Red Shoe Diaries on Showtime were always good.

    [​IMG]
     
    ASU2003, Jul 12, 2018
    #6
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  7. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    I remember dialup and AOL.
     
    Lindy, Jul 12, 2018
    #7
  8. DAKA

    DAKA DOING VERY NICELY, THANK YOU Donor

    Location:
    150 miles North of SOUTHERNMOST POINT IN THE US
    We had a WEB TV....holy shit....a whole trip to Europe done with that......
     
    DAKA, Jul 12, 2018
    #8
  9. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 gr. of diplomacy

    Location:
    Western Oregon, USA
    When I was growing up, my younger sister and I used to "play doctor"... a LOT! (Believe it or not, each "session" was more than likely her idea than mine. She just LOVED having me play around inside her with my fingers.)
     
    buzzgunner, Jul 13, 2018
    #9
  10. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    My mother is a labor & delivery nurse.
    She's always told me from the beginning...
    I remember her using a book initially...something with "soft pictures" and comics.
    Then just kept repeating it as I slowly absorbed it.

    Her philosophy was to be factual about the particulars and focus on the values...caring, discretion, cleanness, prep, etc...

    I was a curious sort anyway...playing doctor for the first time around 5 or 6.
    I was always aware of girls.
    Playing doctor again aroud 9 or 10
    And definitely flipping through many a magazine when I could get my hands on it.

    Playboy was most prevalent.
    Penthouse and Hustler came later...then doing what I could to get my hands on the variety of pictorials that came out.
    Helped me and my cuz finding my uncle's collection of old-school x-rated mags.

    And started masturbation with a passion in my early teens.

    My problem was even though I was very interested, fortunately not ugly and tall...my mouth got me nada. I was a dork.
    So no nookie for me until I was 18

    Every once in a blue moon...a woman would ignore my awkwardness and obliviousness...and allow me to try my hand, so to speak.

    But I don't think I really started knowing about sex and have some skill and ability with it until my early 20's

    I think learning about sex goes beyond the basics.
    People should also learn about how to give and get pleasure.
    How to listen...adjust, invest.
    And my mother wasn't wrong about the values...they're needed too. (just because you're doing it raw...doesn't mean you do it without consequences or indiscretion)

    If only more people had the ability to practice. (practice, practice, practice...tweak, consider, tweak, consider, etc...and more practice)
    Try out different techniques.
    Without any skewing of the info or comfort that peers, priests, parents and porn makes one feel. (not that I'm anti porn at all...it has it's place...but you can go overboard too)

    We're getting better...but we've got a long ways to go still
     
    rogue49, Jul 16, 2018
    #10
  11. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    At work..
    im still learning at 37 years old...
     
    ralphie250, Jul 29, 2018
    #11
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  12. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Diddo (and at 50)
    IMHO, it's a wise person who says this no matter what age or experience.
     
    rogue49, Jul 29, 2018
    #12
    • Agree Agree x 3
  13. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    At work..
    I try to learn something new about something everyday
     
    ralphie250, Jul 30, 2018
    #13
    • Winner Winner x 1
  14. SirLance

    SirLance Death Therapist

    Location:
    Where you least expect me
    Watching neighborhood dogs.

    When I got older, I discovered that girls don't like it when you hump their leg...
     
    SirLance, Jul 30, 2018
    #14
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  15. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Me too, @ralphie250 even if it's only something about myself.
     
    Lindy, Jul 31, 2018
    #15
    • Like Like x 1
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  16. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    At work..
    agree with that.. :)
     
    ralphie250, Jul 31, 2018
    #16
  17. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & don't criticize. Donor

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    I've posted this in other threads. I found out about the basics of sex from a How To book my parents kept hidden under their mattress. The knowledge of more advanced & adventurous sex came from skins mags; not so much the photos, but the letters sections. Penthouse Variations was my favorite.

    This was pre-internet by at least 15 years. Porn movies were a smaller part of my "advanced learning," although I did rent, and occasionally purchase, them on VHS tape.
     
    Chris Noyb, Aug 12, 2018
    #17
  18. Daniel_

    Daniel_ The devil made me do it...

    Location:
    The United Kingdom, naturally
    My mother explained the biology and mechanics, using adult language when I was about 9 and asked about blood on her bedclothes.

    My father had a subscription to Penthouse delivered to his work, but aged about 11 I found one under his bed, so went looking and found his storage box in his home office. He had a couple of years worth at any time, which i borrowed. Later i used to rent them out to classmates...

    My older brother (+4y) and I had a shared loft space at home, with seperate rooms, but on a couple of occasions he brought his gf home, and i think we talked a bit afterwards too.

    I'd touched a girl "there" in a playground game at age 10 or thereabouts, and had chaste kisses with 2 girls before a first gr8 at age 16. We made out, but it was always "hands outside clothes". At 17 I had my first sexual relationship, and made it up as I went along.

    My first real gf and i broke up for a semester whike i was at university and I had 2 brief flings that taught me more than I'd learned in the previous 4 years. Both women were 32, while I was 21.

    Thought I was ok at it before that. Knew I was better at it after.

    Married the first gr8. Got in a rut. Sex became currency for her, and awful for me.

    Broke up.

    Played the field for a year. A lot. No, more than that. A *lot*.

    Remarried, was shocked to find I'm ok at sex.
     
    Daniel_, Aug 12, 2018
    #18
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  19. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    It was more a learning by a thousand inferences than a lesson, a porn, or the like.

    It would be interesting if I had to do it all over again, being we have porn to the nth online, but as a child I found a playboy here, a joke there, a wink there, a HBO late night here, and I somehow got it all worked out. Hell I do remember how I learned to properly jack off, I saw someone do the hand motion in a depreciating manner about a comment, inferred what it was about and thought oh THATS how.

    I learned how to go down on a woman simply due to enthusiasm, and having a tongue that never fatigues.

    I'm sure there are a few things I could learn at this point but I might never.
     
    Herculite, Aug 20, 2018
    #19
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  20. MICHAELYONI64

    michaelyoni64 Vertical

    Location:
    AU
    Not me but a recent conversation with my 13yo son.
    Son: Dad, Indiana (a school friend) told me that that a friend of hers is now pregnant.
    Me: Oh. How old is she?
    Son: Oh she's her age (12). The boyfriend is 15.


    WTF.!



    Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
     
    michaelyoni64, Aug 28, 2018
    #20
    • Like Like x 2
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