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How do you handle loneliness?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Azharen, Nov 23, 2017.

  1. Azharen

    Azharen Getting Tilted

    Springfield, OR
    So I work up a bit under the weather today and decided I would just stay in for Thanksgiving. I was going to treat myself to a meal, but I figured; why bother? I didn't spend the day sulking but I did try to be busy. That only lasted so long before the shadow of how lonely I've felt recently has been more prevalent. I have a roomie, but that doesn't satisfy the emptiness I feel inside sometimes. I've thought about dating again, but it's such a shit show dating at 45. I really don't think I want a committed relationship, but then again, how do you fill that whole inside? I've been volunteering an that is rewarding in a different way. I feel really good helping out with the kids, but I don't feel any less lonely. I know there is no easy answer, but I was wondering if other have similar feelings and how they cope....
    • Like Like x 1
  2. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    I do things
    Get out and about - Wander or Distinct
    People watch if that’s all available
    Or strike up conversations
    People like to talk about themselves
    Listen, then often they allow you to
    Or vice versa, they want you to do the talking first, then they open and share.
    If they don’t want to, oh well
    It’s those that banter, that is what you’re interested in.

    Good example, I’m alone on a trip
    I fend for myself well enough, enjoy alone time too.
    Then I get the itch, I got to get out, no apologies I go.
    Then I “do” something...and while I’m doing, I interact.
    (It doesn’t have to cost money either)

    Yes, it’s nice to find someone to be with
    But that’s a challenge....and even with someone, you still want to get out even if they don’t or are busy.
    Just get out...amongst humans.
    Your level...and even this changes and has ups & downs
    There are no rules or “right” way.
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2017
    • Like Like x 4
  3. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    New York City
    I don't know.

    I am always lonely even when I am with people I still feel lonely.
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  4. ASU2003

    ASU2003 Very Tilted

    Where ever I roam
    I am so busy and have so many things to finish, I don't have time to feel lonely.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Stan

    Stan Resident Dumbass Donor


    I'd make a perfectly good hermit. I like people in small doses; but I'm fine with my own company, as well.

    I'm fond of my wife and we get along well; but we really lead independent lives that only intersect for a couple of hours each day.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Herculite

    Herculite Slightly Tilted

    I'm the same way. Luckily for me I am not unhappy as a loner, though there are times when I wish otherwise. I've found few people that I can connect to on an intellectual level. This undoubtedly sounds conceited there just aren't many people who can keep up with me mentally, and this includes my wife who is quite intelligent. Its why I stay active on the internet discussion boards despite being close to 50 (and to think I found TFP close to 30, think I was maybe 32). Its a wider net of people to interact with.
    • Like Like x 2
  7. arkana

    arkana Very Tilted

    Thanks everyone for sharing. I've struggled with loneliness and being able to express that in a non-shaming environment is huge.

    One thing I can offer now, without much time to amass all the resources that help me, is that you can message me anytime.

    Lonely Hour podcast is good.

    Being able to distinguish between "aloneness" and "loneliness" is powerful.
    • Like Like x 4
  8. International T.

    International T. Slightly Tilted

    "How do you handle loneliness?"
    - Still trying to figure that out. Gaming helps, but then I think of everything I could be doing that would be so much more productive. Then I start to get angry at myself....so, nope. Haven't figured it out yet. :(
  9. Frankie

    Frankie Getting Tilted

    New England
    Sunshine I get out in the sun and fresh air, preferably nude.