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How do you handle loneliness?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Azharen, Nov 23, 2017.

  1. Azharen

    Azharen Getting Tilted

    Springfield, OR
    So I work up a bit under the weather today and decided I would just stay in for Thanksgiving. I was going to treat myself to a meal, but I figured; why bother? I didn't spend the day sulking but I did try to be busy. That only lasted so long before the shadow of how lonely I've felt recently has been more prevalent. I have a roomie, but that doesn't satisfy the emptiness I feel inside sometimes. I've thought about dating again, but it's such a shit show dating at 45. I really don't think I want a committed relationship, but then again, how do you fill that whole inside? I've been volunteering an that is rewarding in a different way. I feel really good helping out with the kids, but I don't feel any less lonely. I know there is no easy answer, but I was wondering if other have similar feelings and how they cope....
    • Like Like x 1
  2. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    I do things
    Get out and about - Wander or Distinct
    People watch if that’s all available
    Or strike up conversations
    People like to talk about themselves
    Listen, then often they allow you to
    Or vice versa, they want you to do the talking first, then they open and share.
    If they don’t want to, oh well
    It’s those that banter, that is what you’re interested in.

    Good example, I’m alone on a trip
    I fend for myself well enough, enjoy alone time too.
    Then I get the itch, I got to get out, no apologies I go.
    Then I “do” something...and while I’m doing, I interact.
    (It doesn’t have to cost money either)

    Yes, it’s nice to find someone to be with
    But that’s a challenge....and even with someone, you still want to get out even if they don’t or are busy.
    Just get out...amongst humans.
    Your level...and even this changes and has ups & downs
    There are no rules or “right” way.
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2017
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  3. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    New York City
    I don't know.

    I am always lonely even when I am with people I still feel lonely.
    • Agree Agree x 2
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  4. ASU2003

    ASU2003 Very Tilted Donor

    Where ever I roam
    I am so busy and have so many things to finish, I don't have time to feel lonely.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Stan

    Stan Resident Dumbass Donor


    I'd make a perfectly good hermit. I like people in small doses; but I'm fine with my own company, as well.

    I'm fond of my wife and we get along well; but we really lead independent lives that only intersect for a couple of hours each day.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    I'm the same way. Luckily for me I am not unhappy as a loner, though there are times when I wish otherwise. I've found few people that I can connect to on an intellectual level. This undoubtedly sounds conceited there just aren't many people who can keep up with me mentally, and this includes my wife who is quite intelligent. Its why I stay active on the internet discussion boards despite being close to 50 (and to think I found TFP close to 30, think I was maybe 32). Its a wider net of people to interact with.
    • Like Like x 2
  7. arkana

    arkana Very Tilted

    Thanks everyone for sharing. I've struggled with loneliness and being able to express that in a non-shaming environment is huge.

    One thing I can offer now, without much time to amass all the resources that help me, is that you can message me anytime.

    Lonely Hour podcast is good.

    Being able to distinguish between "aloneness" and "loneliness" is powerful.
    • Like Like x 5
  8. International T.

    International T. Slightly Tilted Donor

    "How do you handle loneliness?"
    - Still trying to figure that out. Gaming helps, but then I think of everything I could be doing that would be so much more productive. Then I start to get angry at myself....so, nope. Haven't figured it out yet. :(
  9. Frankie

    Frankie Slightly Tilted

    New England
    Sunshine I get out in the sun and fresh air, preferably nude.
  10. GhoastGirl2.0

    GhoastGirl2.0 Getting Tilted

    Western PA
    The definitions of loneliness are interesting here. I often feel very alone when I am home with just my young kids. I also feel like a shell of my former self at times due to lack of social life. I have started some new hobbies and exercising regularly again to regain a sense of self and to give 'me' time in areas I have found myself missing. This forum is an example of one. I hope to feel less lonely by re-engaging here. My kids also make me feel really lonely at times...OR....maybe it's 'trapped' when my hubs is away on business.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Jonesboro ga
    Glad to see you back again, i think i speak for everyone when i say that i hope we can help fill the void.
    when my wife is not home at night for whatever reason it makes me feel the same way even with my 2 dogs
    and yes my daughter can make me feel the same way sometimes, but i know she dosent mean it
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  12. GhoastGirl2.0

    GhoastGirl2.0 Getting Tilted

    Western PA
    No doubt - it's helpful to know I am not alone in feeling this way at times. Like you, I know the kids don't mean it. It is just the season of life we're in now.
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  13. kramus

    kramus what I might see Donor

    69F2E9E5-A724-4EED-9741-2B155783240B.jpeg Lonely was a chronic state I dwelt in for a long time. As long as I remember, actually, and I remember feeling lonely since pre-kindergarden. Which may sound odd for a guy who was one of 6 kids, and had a steady girlfriend in high school - the same woman I spent 25 years married to and raised 4 kids with. But it took my current Lady to be my souls ease (since 2005, married in 2017). Nowadays I have a virtually non-existent friend circle, no work-mates (house husband/artist) and rarely interact w neighbours (I actually don’t know most of their names, and I’ve lived in the same house since 2007). But I have a rich creative life and the focussed, engaged and stimulating company of an exceptional woman. All is good :)
    I stupefied myself with reading (a book-a-day habit) for 30+ years. Not a true solution, but it kept me going. That, and I allowed the mundane slog of life to sop up my mental and emotional energy.
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  14. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    New York City
    I've been learning a lot about the source of my loneliness. It's deeply rooted in my childhood past and upbringing. I don't think I'll ever unwind it but will learn how to deal with it.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    I spent most of my life fighting not to be alone.
    Having my so much death in my life made me want to surround myself with people even if I wasn't interacting with them all that well.
    I tend to be either an introvert or an info dump when I'm hanging out with people so my social skills aren't the best but being with people was always important.
    Which is may have had something to do with why I got married when I was 17 and got married again not too long after I was divorced.
    I just wasn't happy being alone.

    I have lived alone for the past five years.
    My daughters make sure to go out with me once a week and I go vinyl hunting with a friend once a week as well.
    I had a good buddy from work who I would hang out with as well but she moved out of state.
    That hurt more than I care to admit.

    Keeping to rituals helps deal with loneliness.
    Having friends online is actually good as well.
    I have a fulfilling job with people who genuinely care about me so that helps as well.
    Otherwise, I take a lot of medication.
    • Like Like x 3
  16. Mike harpe

    Mike harpe New Member

    Reading, hiking, working out, research of projects for my truck

    Sent from my SM-G960U1 using Tapatalk
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