Is it normal to want a baby so young?

Aside from the military, what job do teenagers bent on having a family get in order to support themselves?

I've been living thinking about it for a hot minute now and the US military is basically free adult daycare.

.Mil provides free housing, free healthcare and a load of other benefits simply for donning a uniform.

What other job provides those kinds of benefits and security in the US? I can't think of a single one.

 

Oh geez - I'm a menopausal mother. Had my daughter when I was 36 and my son when I was 40. I can't honestly say that I would have been up to the challenge prior to that. But I don't think I drove/drive them any crazier than they drove/drive me. It's the way it often is with a parent and their teenage children, no matter what age the parent is. And I don't think menopause has much to do with it though some women do suffer a bit more than others.

Having babies at 14 -15 - No friggin' way - way too young in our Western society. I, for one, appreciate that the evolution of Western society has left behind the notion that girls are baby making machines and need to be tapped as soon as the menstrual blood starts flowing. Happy for the couple genuinegirly mentioned above but they're the exception rather than the rule.

Any other age? Depends on the woman and her circumstances.

It is normal to want one at a very young age? I think it's normal enough. I did. I had 2 friends who both got pregnant when they were 16. I was jealous as hell.

It didn't take long for it to wear off.

I think it's normal to get those twinges (babies are just so darned cute) but not reasonable or rational to pursue having one to satisfy a hormonal desire not to mention what other psychological needs might be driving the desire. Grief being only one of them but I get the sense that your desire to have a baby was strong before the miscarriage.

Oh my! I could be here all day refuting the elements of this claim.

Carrying and birthing is the easy part, though I will concede that I might have been more successful when chasing them through the yard with a paddle, had I been 10 or 20 years younger.

An under-developed mind is, no matter how flexible, an under-developed mind. Like having a 6 week old puppy look after a newborn hamster.

All women are wired for pregnancy. It goes with the territory. It's no excuse to flip the switch simply because it's there.

Yes, I would discourage women that age from getting pregnant. So, it would seem, does every Western society for reasons that are evident.

How do 14 and 15 year olds provide a nurturing nuclear family and appropriate health care without at least initial assistance from extended family and society? I would conclude that this does little more than promote an unnecessary burden on an already overburdened society. If these are the dreams of 14 and 15 year old girls, I'd insist they get themselves some other dreams.

Intelligence, smelligence. I'm sorry but I can count on one hand the number of post-pubescents I know or have known who can make a decision based on something not in their own self-interest. And that is the point, really

Accidents happen and you try and make the best of a less than ideal situation. You don't invite them in.

http://www.thetfp.com/threads/is-it-normal-to-want-a-baby-so-young.1371/page-2#ixzz1ZN4GrW8v

 

I feel for you, genuinegirly. And I liked your post because of the openness involved. I can't imagine how hard your current situation must be for you, and sincerely wish you all the best in your joint attempts to become parents.

However, I can't agree with your arguments. Infertility is a very iffy subject. Anyone could be rendered infertile by a number of causes, at any stage in life. If your reasoning was applied, we should encourage every 13-year old girl "in love" to go ahead and become pregnant. Hell, we should encourage them to become pregnant as soon as they have their first period.

Further, young guys and girls tend to make irrational and reckless decisions. It worked out for your friend and that's great. Most would fail. Especially with the rampant irresponsibility of the current youth of developed nations.

 

I've just realized that I can actually type the word fuck here without it being bleeped out.

I don't catch on as quickly as I used to but fuck if I won't make up for lost time.

Probably not the best place to announce this revelation.

Fuck...there's no delete button!

 

Nice contribution to the topic, Joniemack.

I wanted to give this to Plan9, but I believe you deserve it more:

Congratulations! You have been selected to shut the fuck up!

*joke disclaimer HERE*

 

It looks like an award. I'll take it!

 

I don't profess to know much about the Mormon culture but from what I've heard and read, it's a somewhat sheltered culture. Maybe not as sheltered as say, the Amish, but I don't perceive Mormons as being quite as progressive as the rest of the Western world. The whole "noble and wholesome" sort of confirms that idea for me.

Such societies, which have yet to come fully on board with modern Western practices and ideals, have different criteria and expectations. My family had expectations that I would put off marriage and children and pursue my education and a careet. Your culture has different expectations, one of them - marrying and having children is an acceptable if not preferred, option.

The variables in your culture are different than the variables in mine. In mine, a young girl marrying an older man for the purpose of keeping a home and raising a quiverfull of children has been replaced with apparently more attractive and rewarding options for women.

The biggest difference in the cultures, is the lack of support a young girl can be expected to receive if she takes the path of motherhood at an early age. Especially if she is planning to have a child out of wedlock with the intention of raising it herself or even with the young man involved who, by the way, is no longer expected to share the emotional and child rearing burden. She may have her immediate family to assist her but there is no real community available - waiting, accepting and rewarding her for her decision - yes, in my world it's an irrational path, as you've said and I would strongly implore any teenager to explore other options.

I think Western society has gained a great deal in allowing young women the opportunity to make their own decisions. It's unfortunate though that this particular decision does not enjoy the same blessing and support as others.

m/threads/is-it-normal-to-want-a-baby-so-young.1371/page-3#ixzz1ZVDtuXow

 

Jonie, while women have a right to do whatever they wish with their bodies, the baby's life must be taken into consideration just as much.

A woman that pursues child-rearing without taking into consideration all variables, is often too immature to properly raise a child.

That the environment doesn't support reckless and irresponsible decisions cannot be blamed on them.

 

I think I clearly expressed the same opinion in my post.

I agree also, but would like to point out that recklessness is not always a decision. It can be due to a lack of information and access to birth control. In many fundamentalist Christian households where the abstinence model is the only form of birth control and sexual education offered, one could certainly forgive the hormonal inclinations of young folks "doing what comes natural" in the absence of real knowledge and options. I think the word recklessness throws too wide a net over the issue.

Basically, I was simply trying to point out that I think it's a shame that young women in this situation have so few resources and support available to them if they decide to keep the child and raise it on their own, when abortion or adoption are unfathomable options. I daresay, you would probably need to be a women to understand why these options can be so difficult to accept.

 

I definitely agree that just because you can, it doesn't mean you should. I've seen way too many people have children way too early and not really realize what they're getting into.

That being said I definitely don't think it's abnormal to crave a baby at 19... some people just seem to have that maternal urge.

As for me... meh, don't want a kid anytime soon that's for sure... I like having my own life.

Sorry to hear about the miscarriage

 

Sunshineand shadows - if you had a child at this point in your life, would you have little or lots in the way of support? Would that support go on for years if you needed it.
Whilst you are awaiting pregnancy or deciding if contraception at present, is the better option - might I suggest you pop over to Borlas thread 'I want to brag a bit about my dog' - think I got that about right - in his words you will read love from a proud parent of Stanley, who is about two now, and who is learning about life love and everything. If its true unshakable love that is missing in your life and the need to be wanted and appreciated, there are other options. Stop and chat, I think he has a two-legger too, there are certainly small two leggers in their world.
How are you coping now? One of the things about miscarriage is that there is nowhere to sit with your lost one and grieve - too small to have existed. Just throwing this out there, maybe you could plant something for your child on a relatives grave - only the three of you would know, a place that you could visit for a chat if the need took you. Just a thought.