Lead feet

So, I have a new boyfriend. I know he is my boyfriend because he has told me so on many occasions. Weve known of each other for 11 months; dating for 4. He is an attentive and caring thinker. He can laugh at himself, and me. He is strong and handsome, and I likey! Anyway, weve been having uproarious summer dog days and feeling all the fun of new love. Its been great! He has plainly said he intends to see me long-term. Of course, this is where I fuck it up.

As usual Im suddenly uncomfortable and afraid, almost PMSy over the thing. Im panicked and vigorously feeling that fight/flight syndrome. Im asking frank questions of both him and me, sometimes knowing they might smart, but doing so all the same. Im being a weak, cranky candy ass through and through and its unnerving me, and making me feel sorry for my boyfriend! My head spins when I think of any quantifier, long-term or short-term summer romance. And now that its been brought up, I feel stuck on this hamster wheel time machine and I dont want to move anywhere but off.

Any of you experienced those leaden feet and scardy cat feelings in romances? What did you find the issues and did/how did you resolve them within yourself? Were you able to push through to a glory, expected or not? And how on Earth were you able to stuff your mouth with enough papers that you couldnt bite?

 

When I saw the title, I assumed it was about habitually driving faster than the speed limit.

When I was single, I was generally the partner who wanted to take things further, and the other was more hesitant. But when I met the woman who became my wife, it was I who stalled and hesitated.

We've been married almost 25 years now.

 

I also experience leaden feet. I have not been on a single date since my separation late 2011 and subsequent divorce. I refuse to. I know exactly what my baggage is.

Do you know what yours is? It might help if you figured it out.
Is this relationship moving to fast for you? Suggestions of moving in after only 4 months? What about your previous relationship are you trying so hard to avoid? Do trust & abandonment issues make you fearful of becoming attached? Did you deal with being bullied? Did you have to do everything someone else's way and deal with getting sworn at if it wasn't right/fast enough?

 

I forgot about this thread
Probably because I figured it out by simply talking to him.
Hes a gem!

Thank you.