Movies You'll Never Bother Watching.

This is similar to another thread I started on the old TFP, but with a variation:

What are some films that you just can't work up the enthusiasm to see? Or more strongly, they couldn't pay you enough money to sit through?

Here's a few on my list:

- Ferris Bueller's Day Off- Yeah, my peers in high school all loved this movie. Personally, I couldn't care less about it. I look forward to many more years of not seeing this.




- Any Kevin Smith movie after Dogma, as I have seen everything previous to that.


- Moulin Rouge - Thank you, but no. Nicole Kidman belting out anachronistic rock n' roll tunes in the 1890's sounds like the worst idea known to humankind, next to all these remakes. (I can handle musicals in small doses from the 1960's, but not this.)

- Titanic - Well, you just KNEW this one was on the list, didn't you? I actually tried to see this when it first came out, but after two months of seeing the "SOLD OUT" signs everywhere, I just gave up. Incidentally, there are only a handful of people in the world who haven't seen this, and I'm one of them. Boo-yah!

- BrokeBack Mountain- One of my criteria for entertainment is that it must not contain hot, sweaty man-on-man action for any length of time.

- Avatar - I love James Cameron's earlier works, but he just seems preachy in his old age. Must be all that money he keeps wadded up in his pockets.

 

If your sexuality is so fragile that seeing two straight actors sporadically and briefly pretend to engage in consensual homosexual intercourse over the course of a two hour movie that includes two other (longer scenes) in which A-list actresses take their tops off, I don't know what to tell you. You're missing out on a fine piece of cinema for a pretty weak reason. If you've ever watched any porn, you've already seen a lot more hard dicks than you will see if you watch Brokeback Mountain. But, hey, I guess that's your choice.

I don't really have a lot of movies off the top of my head that I'll "never bother watching." I seem to have a more consistent problem with wanting to watch heavy dramas, but not particularly being in the mood. I've had "Old Boy" "The Fighter" and "Winter's Bone" staring at me from my Netflix insta-queue for a while now (especially Old Boy), and I just can't seem to want to pull the trigger to watch them instead of watching Top Gear or something. It's not that I don't want to see them, I just don't want to commit to the experience. I haven't quite figured out why.

 

Try reading this blog article. It explains everything quite nicely. We all do this.

 

I have no desire to watch, or read, Twilight.

 

Seconded, in addition to anything heretofore released by Pixar. I can't stand the cutesy style of animation, the well-meaning, kind-hearted protagonist designed to elicit sympathy, and the inevitability of a sappy moral dilemma lightened by safe humor.

 

When you're done mentally slapping labels on me, you can read my more mundane reason for not watching Brokeback: I've seen five other Ang Lee films and I can't say I'm impressed by them. I'd rather spend time exploring works by other directors I am less familiar with-and that's my choice.

 

Unfortunately I'll see just about anything if I'm bored enough, but so far I haven't had to resort to watching:

any Toy Story
any new Disney Animated Film
Godfather III
The Karate Kid (with Fresh Prince's kid)
any new Twilight (got suckered into the first one, NEVER AGAIN!!!)
Steel Magnolias
MacGruber
Glee (I know its TV)

basically, thank you Japan for continuing to churn out batshit crazy stuff for me to watch so I don't have to resort to the above

 

Titanic. Never saw it, never will.

 

Twilight.
Pretty much any spoof movie.
Moulin Rouge
Most movies staring a pop artist... Crossroads, Glitter, Gigli, Burlesque, etc...
Anything with Barbara Streisand.

 

I suspect that Pulp Fiction falls under this category. The trailer has always looked completely uninteresting to me, and in no rush to view it.
in the TV front - anything to do with American Idol, survivor, or anything else in that line.

I watched some of Brokeback mountain and turned it off out of disinterest. The completely PG at best scenes were clear enough and no problem, but the storyline lost me quickly.

have to add any Star Trek sequels based on that last horrific action film that was released. Still looking for the men in black to wipe that small part of my memory.
and the third Star Wars prequel as well. I actually received that DVD as a gift and gave it away unopened.

 

Yep, if the title is "<something> Movie", chances are I'm not going in.

If on the other hand it is a spoof movie like "Bloodbath at the House of Death" - I'm in.

 

Aww, you really are missing out. Pixar is pure quality, except for Cars. However, and this isn't meant to troll you or anything, but I haven't seen The Shining, and really have no desire to (since I already feel like I've seen all the good parts without even watching it)

 

Willy Wonka
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Percy
I also have no interest in any of the Bratz movies.

 

The Notebook. Mrs. Stick tried to convince to watch it with her. She gave up.

 

That's a fascinating little article. How utterly bizarre. Obviously it won't change anything, but it's nice to know there's a reason for it.

Hey man, you're the one who said "One of my criteria for entertainment is that it must not contain hot, sweaty man-on-man action for any length of time." Don't accuse me of labeling you based on what you said. If what you feel about the movie is what you said the second time, you should've just said that up front.

 

If it's based on a book I love, I'm not going to see it. If it's a remake of an older movie I liked, I'm not going to see it *no Hunger Games or Dirty Dancing for me, as examples.)

I'm not keen on action movies where the explosions are the main characters, either.

Edit-- An exception to the book thing is fairy tales. If the trailer looks decent, and sometimes even if it doesn't, I'll see nearly anything based on a fairy tale. Maybe because fairy tales are told so many different ways, and there often isn't ONE version that trumps the others.

 

With all due respect, I'm happy to give a straightforward (but probably bland) answer if you want one. It's just that I would think in a topic so featherweight as this one, a little levity/satire would make for a more entertaining read for everyone here.

That said, I'm not holding any grudges here.

Back on topic-

I'll add the "Human Centipede" movies (there are two, with a third one planned) to my "never ever" list. Let's be frank- if the key selling point of your movie is that it's 100% "medically accurate", then I think I'll be browsin' the DVD rental store for something a little less... um, graphic.

 

Twilight
Any gangster movie... I just don't get it.... I've only seen Scarface because I was forced to.
Most DC Comic movies.... they need more fanboy love, as per Marvels recent success.

 

I have nothing against Pixar, and have seen several of their films. Up was a great movie, and Monsters Inc was cute. But nothing from the Toy Story trailers makes me want to listen to Tim Allen as a cartoon for 2 hours. Like Bob Saget in a TV sitcom, they just don't go together.

And as far as the Shining, large chunks of it are completely useless, but Jack Nicholson's performance carries the movie, especially his scenes with the ghost bartender.