Movies You'll Never Bother Watching.

I watched the first one on Netflix and it was "interesting" in a "why the f**k did I start this" kind of way. No desire to see the sequel which I read was going to be far more graphic.

 

any more Batman
any more Nightmare on Elm Street
any more damn dog kids movies!

... wait, they remade Dirty Dancing?

 

I believe a remake is currently in the works, but not out yet.

 

Blue Crush, but that's only because my current woman wants me to watch it so bad it comes up every other week.

 

Pirates of the Caribbean 4
Winnie the Pooh
Total Recall (the remake, which is currently being made, but the story is not on Mars. Why the fuck are they remaking this if it is not on Mars? What about the woman with the 3 boobs? She has to be in it!)
Cars 2

 

A Total Recall remake???? That makes me cringe almost as bad as Footloose and Dirty Dancing being remade.

Are we going to see a Star Wars remake with Justin Timberlake as Luke Skywalker and Richard Simmons as Darth Vader next? What the hell is wrong is wrong with people?

 

Let's see, movies I won't watch.
All the twilight films.
Broke back mountain. Not because of the gay thing, but because of the cowboy thing.
Walk Hard.
Almost any will ferrell comedy. he's just not funny to me. He however is an amazing dramatic actor.
Any Jim Carry comedy. Same as above.
Every Finnal Destination film after the second one. First one was pointless fun, second one beat the idea to death, the rest are just pointless.
Every sequel to Saw.

 

I don't want to see "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" since I am not in the target demographic, but I wouldn't mind if that subtitle got used for more films in Hollywood:

Transformers 4: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
Saw 9: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
Star Wars Episode 7: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
Rambo 5: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
The Hangover 3: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
Cowboys vs. Aliens 2: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain 2: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire (that one might not fit on the theater marquee)

This doesn't mean I would see any of those films, though.

 

avatar. i loathe james cameron's work. and i sat through titanic. which was the longest 3 months of my life. good fucking christ what an awful film. quintessential mainstream hollywood schlock. bad bad bad.

i dislike steven speilberg's films because he thinks we are stupid. witness the girl in the red coat from schindler's list. it was the fucking holocaust. the warsaw ghetto. you didn't think we'd get that it was a bad thing without that cheap-ass device? seriously? ....but duel was great. that was before he decided we were stupid. i don't know quite when it happened.

it's like george lucas, the same guy who make thx1138 also made those tiresome westerns in space. and giant bank. maybe that's how to do it--decide people are stupid and give them stupid things.

i went to see soderberg's remake of solaris to laugh.

actually, i have trouble going to see any mainstream hollywood film. at all.

 

Jane Eyre

 

I'm going to give everyone a movie to add to there "don't bother watching" list:

A Serbian Film

the most disturbing, demented, depressing movie I have ever seen, and if I could take watching it back, I would and place it permanently on this list. And thats with the knowledge that I watch alot of demented, disturbing shit for fun, like the aforementioned Human Centipede. There was just no redeeming quality to A Serbian Film, other than to be an allegory representing the horrific history of war crimes in Serbia.

 

Trust me, you're not the only one.
There's a tv channel here in Australia called SBS and the films they show are mostly 'foreign' films.
There is an endless parade of French, Dutch, Spanish, German etc films. Mostly VERY good, with stories that move you,
actors that ACT (surprising, I know) and photography that's original and fresh.

Hollywoods obsession with shooting everything that moves, blowing up everything that doesn't,
'actors' that are chosen for looks not ability and scripts that are penned by monkees chained in a room full of typewriters -
there is no comparison.

/Phew. A good rant seems to cleanse the soul, doesn't it?

 

Both of the recent Iron Man films are low on my list of things to watch. I would rather sit and enjoy the many layers of Casablanca or Citizen Kane again. Or watch the brilliant work of Chaplin, Harold Loyd, or Buster Keaton for that matter.
I did see I am Number Four recently on DVD and actually liked it, even with the ridiculously low expectations I had going into it.

 

Some really good films not being watched in this thread.....

I will never see United 93. I don't see the point. Seems in bad taste

 

If the movie is live action and involves talking animals, I'm not interested.
If the plot/storyline is centered around cars or racing, I'm not interested.
If the movie is horror and gore simply for horror and gore's sake, I'm not interested.
If the movie is a romantic comedy, I'm not interested.
If the movie features Cameron Diaz, I'm not interested.

 

Never saw any of the Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings movies. Don't plan to.

 

Anything Tyler Perry (saw a play of his before he was a movie guy it was unfortunate)
Anything featuring the Wayans (damn, just damn)
Anything comedy with a man in a dress ( is it me? Or is it just not funny?)
Hangover, been sucked in twice (somehow thought the writing or even the acting might have been better the second time)
Matrix 3 (but it's too late for that, that hour and a half of my life is gone now)

This comes from a guy who love bad movies, poorly acted, poorly written even better.

 

The new Star Wars Movies - I saw Phantom Menace and will not go through that hell again
Any movie where the main actor plays almost every character
Any movie starring any of the following:
Martin Lawrence
Tyler Perry
Julia Roberts
Ewan McGregor - that guy can kill any movie