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My girlfriend is miserable

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by jiaqi21, Oct 2, 2012.

  1. jiaqi21 New Member

    My girlfriend have been feeling down and moody as she was on her period. On top of that, her internet is down for the next 2 weeks and she couldn't play her favourite games. I tried to be helpful and suggested that I could pass her my PSP (apparently a big mistake on my part) so she can kill some time. Little did I know, she already had one at home. She replied that she didn't have the mood to continue with such a lame conversation like this. I was hurt by her remark and replied how was that lame and I was only trying to cheer her up. We didn't talk over the next few days.

    My girlfriend text-ed me earlier today saying she was waiting for me to change. I asked her what happened that night... She told me she had already owned a psp so why would she need another one, on top of that it was late and I wouldn't be allowed to come to her house to pass her the console. (I seriously didn't know she had one...) She added on that the same joke might have work for 15 yrs old but not for an 18 yr old. After which, she posted on her facebook wall that she was going to club with her sister and she was feeling "miserable".

    Before this, she felt I wasn't making enough effort to love her more as I didn't check in with her to see how she was doing (I wanted to give her space as I didn't want to annoy her more) and her sister said I didn't love her anymore. I tried making some cute cards for her and expressed that I was sorry but apparently that didn't work out well either. Deep down I know I still love her, but we have alot of issues to sort out. I wanted to make a trip down to the club to look for her and give her a hug.. but I didn't know if it would be the best thing to do. I am worried about her being miserable in a club and she might do something silly. =.=
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2012
  2. the_jazz

    the_jazz Accused old lady puncher Donor

    So what's your question, jiaqi21?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. She is waiting for you to change?

    Good luck with that one. Won't happen. You are who you are. Trying to be what she wants you to be will end you making you miserable instead.
     
    • Like Like x 5
  4. Ozmanitis

    Ozmanitis Trust in your will and Hope will burn bright!

    Location:
    Texas USA
    Craven is right, either she accepts you for who you are. Or the relationship is doomed from the get go.
     
  5. Raghnar

    Raghnar Getting Tilted

    never reach the girlfriend in the middle of a club, lol.

    BTW, do as you feeling to do... it feels lame to me feeling miserable about games and ask to change when offered a console, but maybe is just me... ;)
     
  6. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    There are obviously some communication shortfalls happening with this situation. Overall, it sounds like it's not worth the effort. For whatever reason, she isn't appreciating your efforts. Rather than over-analyzing things and doing whatever you can on your end to make things right, realize that her heart isn't invested as much as yours.

    I see 2 clear options for you.
    1) Give her an out. Explain that you've noticed you haven't been able to help her out, and recommend she find someone who can. Ask her if she would like to break up with you. Tell her that you want what is best for her overall.
    2) Break up with her and don't look back.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  7. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    whatever you do.... don't stick your dick in crazy.
     
    • Like Like x 10
  8. Ozmanitis

    Ozmanitis Trust in your will and Hope will burn bright!

    Location:
    Texas USA
    That's a profound statement. LOL
     
  9. Alistair Eurotrash

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    While she was "waiting for you to change" you were, I assume, waiting for the spoilt little princess to apologise. It looks as if no apology is coming.

    So, fuck her. By which I mean, don't fuck here. Ever. Just move on.

    She may want to post on the "First World Problems" thread, which I'd link if I could find it. Honestly, not being able to play a game for a couple of weeks doesn't really qualify as something to be miserable about.

    Having said all that, there is a lesson to learn here. When a woman complains, she doesn't always want a solution. She just wants you to listen and make sympathetic noises (and if you put down your phone and stop texting, that helps too).
     
    • Like Like x 8
  10. Random McRandom

    Random McRandom Starry Eyed

    I'd be jumpin' off that psycho train just as fast as I could open the door...
     
    • Like Like x 5
  11. Joniemack

    Joniemack Beta brainwaves in session

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    Doesn't sound like you're dealing with an adult. Doesn't sound as if she's your girlfriend either. To me, it sounds like adolescent "let's make believe we're boyfriend and girlfriend. Boyfriends are supposed to do ____ and girlfriends are supposed to do _____ with an unlimited amount of drama." Move on and let her get her practice elsewhere.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2012
    • Like Like x 5
  12. Remixer

    Remixer Middle Eastern Doofus Donor

    Location:
    Frankfurt, Germany
    I'm part of the general consensus in this thread. There really isn't much one can still add to this.

    Good luck to you, whichever way you decide to handle the situation. :)
     
  13. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    wait did he stick his dick in crazy?
     
    • Like Like x 3
  14. Random McRandom

    Random McRandom Starry Eyed

    [​IMG]

    who knows man. who knows.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  15. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Weirder Than Normal Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    [​IMG]



     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2018
    • Like Like x 6
  16. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    wow...my eyes hurt.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  17. jiaqi21 New Member

    And one thing to add on. Whenever she is upset about this relationship she will pass her phone to her sister. So far her sister have been acting like the mediator. She told me that my gf is good at holding grudges... She made me feel that I am unreliable. Didn't answer to my gf expectations. Btw my gf did mention marriage plans with me, she even got it all mapped out. Even though I feel it was premature at this stage.
     
  18. the_jazz

    the_jazz Accused old lady puncher Donor

    jiaqi21, how old are each of you? And can you please tell us what EXACTLY you want us to discuss? Seriously, as it is, you're only going to get stupid answers since you haven't asked any questions or done anything other than complain about her.
     
  19. jiaqi21 New Member

    I am 21. She is 18. I wanted some feedback about this, should I change myself and evaluation of what went wrong. What could have been done better. Someone above answered my question. I have been trying to change myself for her. But it didn't really work out. Maybe we are just incompatible to begin with.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    sounds like she isn't the one that is miserable...you are.
    and she is the one one making you miserable...

    perhaps if you'd slow down...and don't something big about it, you'd appreciate this.

    you are responsible for making your self happy, she isn't.
    she is responsible for making herself happy, you aren't.

    and if they sync...cool.

    chill, do as you will
    just treat each other with respect...go from there.
     
    • Like Like x 3