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Need a quick response regarding dating!

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Anonymoose, Mar 23, 2013.

  1. Anonymoose

    Anonymoose Vertical

    Hi gang! In less than an hour, I'm meeting up with a gal who messaged me on a Christian Dating site. We were going to go and meet at the church but instead we're going to meet up for coffee and then go to the church right after.

    My question is, should I pay for her coffee? Should I offer? We both put that we were looking for "Anything" on the site, out of the choices of anything, dating, marriage, or even just friendships. So I'm not really sure if this is a date or just a meetup for potential friendship. If it helps, she initiated this on the site by sending a "wink" to me, and I replied in a message and it went from there. Not sure if winks means she's attracted to me. I presume not since I am ugly.

    Thanks for reading!
     
  2. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    I always recommend that people split the first date. Less pressure, no perceived agenda, you can gauge her reaction on whether or not she feels entitled to a free lunch simply because she has a vagina, etc. I prefer to go Dutch on everything for the first few dates. I'll drop my card on the table at a dinner with friends, though. Coffee shop really is a great first date because it's inexpensive and the time frame is around an hour if you want it to be over or it can roll into dinner if things are going well.

    Also: If she was on a A) dating sight and B) initiated contact, odds are she's interested in more than just friendship. Your profile picture likely lured her in.

    Good luck, Mr. Moose.
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2013
    • Like Like x 2
  3. *Nikki*

    *Nikki* Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    Stateside
    Offer to pay, see her response.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  4. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    If it were for a date that was a bit more expensive, I'd consider Plan9 's way of handling things.

    But for a $2 (or even $5 if you are a coffee snob) cup o' joe, I'd just say "I got it" without making a big deal out of it.

    Either way, I think you are overthinking it if you are worried too much about paying or not paying for a cup of coffee. Not a big deal whether you buy or let her buy her own IMO.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. GeneticShift

    GeneticShift Show me your everything is okay face.

    I would offer, if she looks uncomfortable when you do, don't pay. Since coffee is so cheap, I think it would be nice to pay. I would appreciate it if I was her.
     
  6. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    Yeah, but if she can't handle paying for coffee, why bother with the dinner, ya know?

    Anybody that has gone on a Sally Wants a Free Lunch (TM) date learns pretty quick.

    /Norf Cackalacky'd!
     
  7. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    Like I said, even worrying either way is overthinking it to me.

    Like you with dinner out amongst friends, I'm as likely to buy whoever I'm with's coffee regardless. So I personally would treat it the same. But I don't think there is a wrong answer between going Dutch or him buying. It's $4.
     
  8. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    ...perhaps he should try to get her to pay for it.

    Yeah, it's a lot of overthinking.​
     
  9. GeneticShift

    GeneticShift Show me your everything is okay face.

    I think they should try and steal the coffee to see how badass she is.
    --- merged: Mar 23, 2013 at 4:37 PM ---
    Alternatively, hand her a molotov cocktail outside the coffee shop and she what she does.

    But seriously. Pay for the coffee.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 30, 2013
    • Like Like x 4
  10. the_jazz

    the_jazz Accused old lady puncher

    This is the obvious answer. And the correct one, IMO.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Anonymoose

    Anonymoose Vertical

    Interesting discussion! Well, I think I'm going to ask her what kind of coffee she wants and order it for her, which will give her the opportunity to decline I guess. That seems like a mix of all your replies combined into one solution. I've never really been on a date due to my ugliness so this isn't something that I've ever done so it won't come naturally.
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2013
  12. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    Pfft! Your experience is irrelevant given that you always fix the drinks for your dates. And by "fix" I mean rohypnol.

    ...

    I want to party with you.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  13. GeneticShift

    GeneticShift Show me your everything is okay face.

    I don't know if you could handle it.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  14. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    I've been photographed cuddling with the_jazz. I think I can handle your goofy white ass, lady.

    ...

    Anonymoose,

    What's the deal with Christian dating sites? How do they determine if you're Christian enough?

    I've heard stories of guys getting kicked off E-Harmony because they don't meet the criteria.

    IIRC, our very own Bear Cub had a story similar to that. Honestly, with him? I can see why.
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2013
    • Like Like x 2
  15. GeneticShift

    GeneticShift Show me your everything is okay face.

    Good point. I am pretty fucking goofy. And my ass is pretty white.
     
  16. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    THE PARTY IS ON. SEE YOU IN TORONTO.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  17. GeneticShift

    GeneticShift Show me your everything is okay face.

    SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    FTFY.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  19. GeneticShift

    GeneticShift Show me your everything is okay face.

    I WAS GOING TO MAKE THAT JOKE BUT WANTED TO GIVE YOU THE CHANCE.
    --- merged: Mar 23, 2013 at 5:04 PM ---
    /derailed post.

    Seriously, pay for the coffee.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 30, 2013
  20. PlaysWithPixels

    PlaysWithPixels Getting Tilted

    Honestly.... As long as you don't expect her to pay for your coffee you're probably good. Particularly if you were the one who suggested it.