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Non-monogamy in marriage

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Street Pattern, Jun 11, 2015.

  1. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member Donor


    LALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted Donor

    Apparently the Ashley Madison hackers have not released any further data. Since the original theft was an inside job, and they identified the perpetrator, I'm guessing that investigators had a route into the "Impact Team".

    Of course, spammers and fraudsters have rushed to fill the void, offering come-ons to Ashley Madison data dumps that really lead to malware and fraud.

    There's also a hilarious critque of the site's registration process. For example, Ashley Madison gave itself a nonexistent "Trusted Security Award" and emblazoned it across the sign-up pages.

    Also relevant is one woman's account of her experience seeking NSA sex on the site.

    It sounds like @MeltedMetalGlob's comments, above, are spot on (emphasis added):
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2015
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted Donor

  4. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & don't criticize.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
  5. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    The "hook-up site" is the big factor here, as the numbers on that site don't reflect the numbers of cheaters by gender—not even close.
     
  6. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & don't criticize.

    Location:
    Large City, TX

    I agree completely. The AM site misrepresented the number of active females in order to draw in more males, hence the skewed numbers. I think that the numbers at a honest site would be more representative of real life numbers.

    A quick search shows that in general about 70% of married men cheat, while 50-60% of married women cheat. One survey had the numbers even.
     
  7. clarksdale

    clarksdale Vertical

    Location:
    Minnesota
    Just saw this article which seems to reflect some pretty serious scholarship on marriage among those who are consensually non monogamous

    Consensual non-monogamy: Table for more than two, please | Magazine issue 6/2014 - Issue 21 | In-Mind

    "Taken together, CNM relationships can be viable and successful alternatives to more traditional conceptions of monogamy. CNM relationships are characterized by an open dialogue and communication about including multiple romantic and/or sexual partners in one’s life. ..."

    According to these researchers, jealousy is generally not a problem, nor the kids, nor your health, nor the quality of your relationship, in fact, CNM couples seem to be happier.

    Same results in this research; Myths & realities of cnm catalyst con east 2015_slideshare


    So, I think there is a lot of bias against it, and it is largely based on puritanical attitudes and the generally sex-negative culture of this country, but the reality seems to be quite different. I do think that is changing, though, very few CNM couples are open about it with anyone outside their "community."
    --- merged: Aug 31, 2015 at 6:21 PM ---

    It's been a while since I've posted - why is my font black?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2015
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & don't criticize.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    I run into the 'black font issue' when I cut & paste. It's a PITA to see & read.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  9. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted Donor

    (1) Make sure your TFP settings don't specify any font color. Because people are looking at TFP using different background colors, you do not want to specify any font color.

    (2) When cutting and pasting text from elsewhere, first paste it into a plain-text editor like Notepad, then ctrl-A ctrl-C to pick it up again minus any formatting.
     
  10. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    As mentioned above, it often happens when you copy and paste from a web page (etc.) into the text box on the forum.

    One way to avoid it is to highlight the text and then click the Clear Formatting button on the editing toolbar:
    [​IMG]

    Just bear in mind that it may clear all formatting, including italics, indentation, paragraph breaks, etc. You can easily go back into the text and reformat manually as needed.

    I've edited your post to clear the formatting. I don't think it affected much else besides the text colour, but let me know if something is really off.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Or you can highlight the text and use the font color button (just to the left of the smiley face) to just change the text color to white (the one in the lower right corner.)
     
  12. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted Donor

    Changing to white makes the text invisible to people seeing TFP with a white background.
     
  13. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    I'm quoting this because it is a good post.

    Following up with current scholarly references on CNM.

    Monogamy versus Consensual Non-Monogamy: Alternative Approaches to Pursuing a Strategically Pluralistic Mating Strategy

    SAGE Journals: Your gateway to world-class journal research

    This one is an opinion piece:
    https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/1047840X.2014.876908?journalCode=hpli20[/QUOTE]
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  14. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 gr. of diplomacy

    A couple of personal anecdotes.

    Back in the early 80's, my wife and I (who were both in our mid-late 20s at the time), knew a stable triad (2 men, 1 woman) located in a city about 90 min. away from us. (We met them role-playing and we all got together, with a few other folks, about once a month to play D&D or some other RPG.) These three had a very stable relationship. In fact, the woman had two children (a boy and girl), one by each of the two men. We've fallen out of touch but, to the best of my knowledge, they're still going strong today.

    At about the same time (1985, to be specific), I coaxed my wife into an MFM threesome. (She was a virgin when we met, so I was the only man she'd ever had sex with. I suggested that it wasn't too late to "broaden her horizons", so to speak.) We picked a close male friend who as about our age and not at all hard on the eyes. After the nervous threshold (for both of them) of fucking (in front of me) for the first time, they really got into it. From that point on, they fucked about once or twice a week. This lasted for just over six months, until our friend ended up relocating to a new job out of state. However, it was a lot of fun while it lasted!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  15. fflowley

    fflowley Don't just do something, stand there! Donor

    Buzz were you sexually fulfilled as well while she had the relationship with your friend?
    How did you handle pregnancy and sexual transmitted infection risk?
     
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    • Old Old x 1
  16. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 gr. of diplomacy

    It was very sexually fulfilling for all three of us. Given what a voyeur I am, I could have almost been satisfied just watching our friend pet and fuck my wife. However, I almost always fucked her after he did. (We had a standing rule that he always cum as deep as possible and as long as possible inside her, so when I say that I had "sloppy seconds", I'm not kidding! Also, she absolutely LOVED feeling us pumping inside her when either of us came in her.) A couple of times, we "spit-roasted" her (my cock in her mouth and his cock in her pussy). She loved being fucked by him. (It was so naughty being fucked by another man right in front of your husband!).

    As for pregnancy and STDs, my wife had already been on the pill for eight years before our threesome started and it worked great for her, so we really didn't have any concerns in that area. Also, once we started our threesome, or friend stopped having sex with a couple of other women he knew and (at the time) all three of us were "clean". So long as none of us fucked (or was fucked by) anyone else, STDs were a non-issue. This was a good thing because all the sex with my wife was bareback (by mutual consent among all three of us.)
     
    • Like Like x 1