Older Men/Women (now NSFW)

Ohh ohh oooooh. Funny story about me and my December.

I ended up alone with him for 10 minutes and I rambled on and on like a school girl. I do not deserve a mature man.

I also want to add that the reason I am not pursuing him is because we work together and he "outranks" me ...not because of the age difference.

 

Hi ZS

You and I are kindred spirits, in a sense.
I started a thread a while ago where I asked the same questions you are asking but from the guy's perspective. I got trounced. I think maybe I was inarticulent
Quickly, a little background, I am 49 and she is 28, so the math works ( I read the first and the last page, so if I missed something, it's because it's late and I've decided to be lazy)

When I was much younger, say in my middle late 20s, I loved older women. The way I looked at it was that if she was physically atractive as a younger woman and still viable in her advanced years, her experience made her more desirable than her younger equal. Maybe it's a guy thing but romance and sex are two different realms and you never know which comes first in a given relationship.
Now that I have aged considerably and really only in recent month has it occured t0 me that the opposite is also true. the same thing I thought about older women, younger women might be thinking about me or at,least about guys my age.

Let us get into details as they prestent themselves. But My girl Flirts constantly, constantly.

But I am never sure if she's flirting or if that's who she is. The conversations with other guys seems just less than flirting, her conversations with me are just at the brink. I can't move them forward because I out rank her. I'm #2, she's like #4 .

thething I worry about is being that guy
tight jeans
sport car
"cool" clothes
etc
bald
wrinckled
out of place

 

I remember walking through a mall with my #1 son when he was around 20 years old. I noticed a lot of hot young fillies were surreptitiously giving him the once-over. I quickly realized a) I was too old even be on their radar, and b) it was pretty damned cool that so many cute femmes were giving my son the once-over. Now I've got a younger woman myself (not too much younger, but the 8/9 years difference would have been prohibitive when I wore a younger mans clothes) and I am quite happy with that state of affairs as well

 

Yeah. I like all types of men. I don't really think about their ages much, unless they have a a face full of zits or a walker. Anyone in between these parameters is fair game and usually fun...IF AND ONLY IF there is some level of chemistry. My current partner is older. But only by 5 years. Now that I have reached prime middle age, I feel that I can safely tread 20 years in either direction. Think I would prefer to go younger, though. I already have a Dad.

 

If it works for you and it works for him then I don't see the problem. But for the love of all that is Holy be honest about everything. I go out with one more lady who tells me shes in her mid 30's+ only to find out she's not much older then my daughter I'm going to look seriously into becoming a hermit.

 

I've never heard of a woman lying to say she's older after she hits the 21 mark.

 

Well trust me it happens. I find, especially since moving down here, if I tell a lady my cut off age is 35 min. they are at least 35. Several times I've found out the lady I'm dating is in their 20's by pure accident. A mention at a party, an introduction with family... "this is my older sister, she's 29." "Older sister? If she's 29 how can you be 37." Shocked look. "37? No, no I tell you I'm 27. Um yeah no you didn't. Those conversations are almost always follow by something like "Age is just a number, you think about this too much." In some ways I agree, age is just a number. But I know from experience that I'm not comfortable with someone at or near my daughters age. Makes me feel like the creepy old dude hanging out at the teen center. Plus when you date someone in the 20's they may say now they don't want kids but at some point there's a high degree of likelihood they will want kids. I'm not interested in having a son/daughter younger them my grandchild.

 

I'm 64, love sex, and fantasize about women in their 20's and 30's. Can't control my age and I don't try to seduce young women but I certainly appreciate their beauty and sexyness. I know that this "confession" makes me look like a dirty old man. My mind is still 19...sorry.

 

I have to agree with ashland here. To a degree. I had a conversation today and it went something like this

'Youth is wasted on the young'

'Yeah'

I have to say that I have an affinity for grown folks when it comes to women, but beauty is beauty. I wouldn't like having to have the conversations with much younger women that you have to have to be in a relationship with them. But they do have some really nice parts. And parts is parts.

 

I date older and younger men, with 5 years either way seeming ideal. Interestingly, many of the older men Ive dated would like to have children - even as old as 55 - whether they have children already or not. This is a red flag for me. A few years ago there were 2 world-wide quite comprehensive studies done. One on men and one on women. Just as women's eggs become less viable with age, it was found that men's sperm after 50 become less viable too, and that there is a much higher degree of schizophrenia in their offspring.

 

I think 5 to maybe 10, give or take, if the match is good is my preference. I meant a lady a couple years ago who was 62, I was 46 at the time. She was in great shape, took very good care of herself. Frankly, in bed or sex regardless of location, she out did most women 1/2 her age. She had the prefect combination of a dirty mind and flexible body. Sadly the more I spent time with her the less I enjoyed her personality. She treated waiters, sales people, delivery men etc.. as if they were her slaves often yelling at them without reason, least any reason I could think. It finally got to the point where just the thought of going out in public with her made me cringe. Sad because she was always friendly and nice with me. Always making me laugh and smile, plus she was pretty good a chess. But when I order a salad I really want to make sure what looks like dressing is in fact dressing.

 

I don't think age difference is that huge of a factor. If two people are in love and that person can make you smile, laugh, love life, and you cherish each moment with that person, then age is just a number.

 

OK, I'll bite.

Going to college in a town where there are fewer women than sheep, the topic of women comes up a lot; not the least the importance of looks, behavior, and age, so my response is well-versed.

"A couple's age is not nearly as important as their relative maturity levels."

Physical attraction aside, I personally think that the number of years that have passed since the person's dramatic day of escape from the birth canal is not nearly as important as what they have done with their lives in the years since. I know that I, personally, would much rather date someone that is twice or two-and-a-half-times my age with whom I can discuss religion, politics, music, etc than someone who is my age who cares about nothing about digging up dirt on every single person that she knows.

The same goes the other way; I'm just as okay with dating someone younger than me (while still being -legal!-) if they can maintain my attention. I would know; I'm dating someone younger than myself right now.

 

I've connected with women of all ages even though "relationships" didn't develop. It was obvious there was potential if we both made that decision. Age isn't the primary factor, connection is.

 

I'm 31. Husband is 58. Due to birthdays it is 26 1/2 years between us. We've been married 3 1/2 years. Together nearly 8 years. Both of us have children from past relationships. Mine was 6 months old when we met so he's the only father she has ever known. His are nearer my age then one might want, yet his children and I have no issues getting along at all! Come to think of it most believe we've done each other the world of good and we are both better together.

Our relationship started as a "for now" kind of thing... And one day we both realized it was a "forever" kind of thing.

There are certainly ups and downs... And I was always like you. Preferring older men. Though I seemed to have to justify that to the men just so I could convince them they were not "too old" for me. It seems to be a common issue that needs reassurances.

There are a few things to keep in mind:

Even if things work out for the long run there will be days (weeks) where you want to kill each other. That is the beauty of long term relationships. You might not say it but every little thing will drive you mental. Then they do something that makes the world click into place and you will be hard pressed to remember what annoyed you in the first place.

As with any real relationship... When life goes sideways and things hit the fan it draws you together. Life experiences on both sides help.

Oh and just a FYI... There are few long term relationships where there is a perfect match with physical interests. Sometimes it isn't a priority... If that happens make sure you make time for it so no one feels too frustrated.

If you genuinely feel attracted to someone... Try the blooming friendship approach. It will either work or it wasn't meant to be. The work issue is a choice you make for yourself but on the other end of things I am glad I made the jump.

 

Rather a sweet kind of a thing you have going Angel Eyes. I suppose sometimes there is no choice but to date younger people. When those in your peer group start keeling over, it would be a case of go younger or get a shovel and dig one up surely. The age is just a number line I find a tad creepy - too reminiscent of grown men picking up their schoolgirl girlfriends. Maturity in the head is different to age - of course when its an immature 30 year old dating a 16 year old - creepy and icky.
Used to be a sying - you can be an old mans darling or a young mans slave.

 

It is rather sweet chinese crested.

I am sure at some point I may have to re-enter the dating game and may have to consider someone younger or my own age. maybe I will luck out and avoid it. I really like being an old mans darling!

 

As a 26 year old who just started dating a 45 year old.. this holds true for my experience with him thus far. He is also no stranger to a mature relationship (was married for 12 years) and knows how to carry himself. I'm a little gaga right now, honestly.

And yes, he has kids. He has the ex wife who broke his heart. He has the baggage there. However, he didn't pursue me because of my age - in fact, when he asked me how old I was and I told him, he had a "holy shit" response - he expected me to be at least 32. He had serious misgivings about dating me until we spent a night talking for hours and he decided I was mature enough to consider dating. It helps that he's a big kid at heart and a complete goofball.

 

I once had a brief sexual relationship with a woman who was about 15 years older than me. I was 19 years and she was 35+ or - ... at that time. That was before the word "cougar" was in popular usage (at least I hadn't heard it) and I still don't think of her as someone who was on the prowl. I learned about what I've come to think of as "gourmet" lovemaking and I developed an appreciation for classical music. Her style and class marked me ... I'm a better person than I would have been without her.

 

at 30 years old, the "older women" that i find attractive are usually in thier late 30's to mid 40's... ive never, but i certainly would have in my single days... but then, i dont have a "type" in any sense of the word. i have seen all kinds... age, race, shape, style, u name it... and found someone in each demographic attractive...

Age means nothing except an estimate at how much time u might have together... but even that isn't something to make a decision on...