Pointless Advice

More Pointless Advice:

You can use Coca-Cola to clean corroded battery terminals.

Hot sauce can be used to clean dirty copper and brass.

 

toothpaste can be used to fill in nail holes in walls

leaves a nice minty smell, too!

 

Specifically Plan9, more generally, everybody else.

 

When you call and leave a voice mail, say your callback number slooooooowly. Write it out as you're saying it if that helps.

 

Just think of the good things it does to your stomach lining. And those completely unnecessary parts like tooth enamel.

 

The day after I traded in my POS Jetta, I went down to see my dad at the same dealership.... They couldn't get it started that morning. I calmly pointed out the bottle of Coca Cola, the toothbrush, and the box of baking soda behind the seat. And then reminded them all the paperwork for the trade in has been completed and signed.

 

Yeah, your stomach lining is completely unprepared for any sort of acid.

 

I was going to post this in the dating thread, but recently that thread's as much fun as the Nuremberg trials.

So, in here it goes: When on a date, be yourself. Chicks dig a guy who's genuine, even if he's a douche. Case in point: Donald Trump gets laid all the time (I imagine) but NOT because of his sense of humor!

 

If you get caught speeding, tell the truth. You might get out of a ticket. Probably not, but you have a better shot than lying to me or other officers. If we stopped you, its because we already had probable cause. You're not going to weasel out of a ticket.

 

marriage is not a word but a sentence.

 

I've heard both of these phrased a little differently.

If you're the smartest person in the room, you're probably in the wrong room.

If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole in the morning. If you run into assholes all day, you are the asshole.

 

It turns them yellow

 

Stay away from dinosaurs that have just been freed from ice after millions of years. They tend to be extremely cranky and prone to attacking large urban areas.

 

Never eat raspberries.

 

I don't think that worked the way you think it did.

 

That unprofitable waste of time you spent doing your customer a favor probably just made you a friend for life. Never say "no" and watch your client base grow. The profits will follow.