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sex toys.

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by mixedmedia, Nov 23, 2011.

  1. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Nebraska
    I couldn't find this thread when I posted this in the How Many Times thread. It's more topical here.:)

    The owner of a sex shop had never been able to take a lunch break, so he hired an assistant. The first day, a lady comes in wanting to buy an insertable appliance (yeah, one of those). She says "How much is that 6" one?" Assistant looks and says "Ten bucks." Lady says "How much is that 10" one?" Assistant looks and says "Twenty five bucks." Lady then looks around and says "How much is that big plaid one?" The assistant hesitated and then quoted a rather high price." Lady says "I'll take it." Later, when the owner comes back and ask how things had gone, the assistant says "Pretty good! I sold your thermos for seventy five bucks!"
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  2. DAKA

    DAKA Bent out of shape Donor

    Location:
    Fort Lauderdale
    No need for a vibrator...a ride in the P car (911) at high speed on a twisty road, does the job.......
     
  3. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Is 911 something you call the car, or the number you call after riding in the car?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. DAKA

    DAKA Bent out of shape Donor

    Location:
    Fort Lauderdale
    Both, depending on how excited she gets...
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    I'm thinking Porsche 911.
     
  6. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Oh, the P car is not a Prius???? Yeah, I know... I can't resist a word play. "She's so fun my 9---1---1, she always reminds me of a terrible pun, giddy-up, giddy-up 9---1---1, the cops can't catch her, nothing can touch my 9---1---1, etc., etc., etc..
     
  7. DAKA

    DAKA Bent out of shape Donor

    Location:
    Fort Lauderdale
    YES, 911....actually 996 ( to the purists...2003 triple black Cabrio).....(unfortunately there are not many fun drive roads of that kind in FL, you need NC, upstate NY, CT or...?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Nebraska
    New Mexico. US60 West from Soccoro to Phoenix.
     
  9. DAKA

    DAKA Bent out of shape Donor

    Location:
    Fort Lauderdale
    Dunno, never been to NM, or NE either....only CA and all the East coast states... :rolleyes: (Sheltered life)
     
  10. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    Jonesboro ga
    little to my knowledge, they can break...

    about 2 weeks ago we broke one of ours. it was a vibrating dildo. weve had it for a few years. the rubber split in the middle :( have to buy a new one soon, just havent had time to go. but i did learn that the stuff on the inside if kinda weird looking.
     
  11. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    HEY!! How they did the get a mold of my dick??!! :D
    My ex must have drugged me...geez, I knew she was hard up but... ;)
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  12. Theclliterate New Member

    Location:
    India
    So i bought Fleshlight last year. And it changed my experience of self pleasure. Moreover it really helped me learn how to control ejaculation with my mind. And now it is always sitting nearby in my room, who knows when that nice wallpaper of megan fox in her white bikini on my pc start turning me on !! [​IMG]

    Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
  13. Theclliterate New Member

    Location:
    India
    And after that i also started making my own water based lube. First its cost effective, second i can change its consistency as per my wish. So i make one batch for about 20 days or a month. After that new batch, keep changing its consistency as per experience. Fill that in a bottle of hair serum, gets easier to open the bottle and directly drop it on my shaft or on toy.[​IMG]

    Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
  14. Theclliterate New Member

    Location:
    India
    Well, if you need bottles of that lube at ultra cheap prices. Come on PM me !!

    Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk
     
  15. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    How do you make it!?
     
  16. Theclliterate New Member

    Location:
    India
    Oh you want procedure ? Yes i can share. But not to indians. I am looking at it as a potential small business ! I suppose you are not an indian ? So i can share the whole thing of how to

    Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk
     
  17. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    no not indians
     
  18. Theclliterate New Member

    Location:
    India
    Yup great. But i am an indian and wanna move to US or Canada at the earliest. Then join erotica as a performer and director.
    Alright let's look at the procedure.
    Ingredients needed : 1. Xanthal Gum powder
    2. Pure Glycerine(Means there shouldn't be any extra additives)
    With these two contents and water we will make this lube. Assuming you want to make it for daily usage, our procedure will make a quantity enough for 15 times usage of a short sex session ( timing matters as water based lubes get dried itself after some time on the skin)
    1.Take around 2 Teaspoons of Glycerine and 3/4 teaspoon of Xanthal gum powder in a bowl.
    Mix these two until you see a uniform cream white paste. This paste will be pretty sticky.
    2. Only when step 1 is finished, that means paste is uniform, without any lumps, start adding water. Now for above quantities, you can start with a cup of water. Yes too much of water is needed in this lube.
    Mix the paste with water and make it uniform, it will start getting thicker and transparent.
    3. You can lift the lube made in step 2 with teaspoon and let it drop back in bowl to check consistency. My experience says, it should flow, but not like a liquid, it should be a little thicker than our Spit to give perfect performance.
    To get the desired consistency, keep adding water in small amounts. Always mix thoroughly until uniform before adding more water.
    4. Transfer the lube to a container and keep in refrigerator.
    This lube has a little sugary taste to it because of Glycerin.
    Usage guide : Since ingredients are pretty safe, you have nothing to worry about. You can use your mouth on a lube applied part. But i would not suggest direct eating/swallowing of a lot of this lube as it can increase blood sugar level. But yeah a little bit going in your system because of licking or other factors is alright, no worries.
    I will attach the picture of Xanthal gum powder and Glycerin. Both can be bought from amazon or loxal stores.[​IMG][​IMG]

    Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk
     
    • Informative Informative x 3
  19. Theclliterate New Member

    Location:
    India
    I am working on adding a flavor without compromising quality and safety of this lube. Nobody wants chemicals in their lubes. So trying natural stuff that is oil free and chemical free. Whenever will have success on that, will update


    Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. steelguy71 New Member

    Location:
    CA
    I wonder how many guys have tried using a vibrator or dildo on themselves, and how many of them still enjoy the pleasures of penetration?

    Asking for a friend

    Sent from my SGH-I337M using Tapatalk
     
    • Like Like x 4