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Sexual fantasy

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by ralphie250, Aug 1, 2012.

  1. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    Jonesboro ga
    i know it sounds stupid but at this point my fantasy is not to do the same thing over and over. it gets old and i know my wife gets annoyed with it. so my fantasy is to initiate sex in a different way or to have more foreplay.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    I get that but life is just so .. terrifying short .. twenty years seems like nothing now.

    I'm still in great shape and having a great sex life but I turn 50 next year. I have absolutely nothing to complain about, nothing worth noting, but time gets us all.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Weirder Than Normal Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    If you want a taste of eternity, try getting into a sexless relationship.

    While there's no evidence to support that it will extend your lifespan, I can guarantee that it will...

    ...seem...


    ...like...


    FOREVER.

    [​IMG]

    I figure if I can keep masturbating, life will be somewhat tolerable. Most people would not consider this a "win", but guys like me have to take whatever they can get. ;)
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  4. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    I still respectfully disagree with you, sir.
    You are worth WAY more than you give yourself credit for.
    You deserve it.
    And there are quite a few women that would give it just to you.
    They deserve a good man like you. :):cool:
     
  5. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Weirder Than Normal Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    You suggest the impossible.

    May I reveal through the magic of Photoshop my impending fate should I ever split from the ol' ball & chain?

    [​IMG]

    (Cold hard reality, while being a bitch, is still funny as hell.) :)
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Sir, doth protest too much...
    You're a good man and damn funny...you can make fantasy a reality.

    I have a fantasy...to develop groups that help guys who've had their hearts ripped out or deal with toxic women.
    They have them for women all over...they need them for men.
    I'm tired of the expectation that men just "DEAL" or that they aren't manly. (which BOTH men and women have of men)
    That's bullshit.
    I know many men who are good ones...that have had their souls, sexuality and self-confidence stripped and sapped. (Myself included at times in the past)

    Let's start supporting the good men. All we hear about is the bad men, the jerks, the players, when they do bad.
    We're not cavemen anymore...we're not sword wearing soldiers, we're not cowboys. We're complex thinking fools, just like anyone in humanity and modern society.

    And this will promote good fantasies...turn them into good realties.

    Support your good men.
    Now that's a fantasy that should be realistic. :cool:
     
  7. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    Jonesboro ga


    I hate to laugh at these.....
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Plan9

    Plan9 Standing in the Door Donor

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    It happens occasionally. I'll settle for true love and someone that knows how to use a squat rack.

    ...

    I'm still really disturbed by how MMG uses wedding-y photos in his sexless marriage memes.

    If you're still married, you need to unshackle your ass. Your kid is old enough to understand.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2019
    • Agree Agree x 2
  9. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Weirder Than Normal Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    Leave this comedy gold mine behind? LOL!

    I'm tired of repeating myself across various threads, so from now on I'm just going to post this pic, as it sums up everything nicely.
    [​IMG]

    This is not debatable, nor is it up for discussion.
     
  10. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Now, I thought I'd see you as Charlton Heston at the end of the original Planet of the Apes. :D
    Pounding on the the beach sand, screaming DAMN YOU TO HELL!! :eek: To a crumbling statue of a bygone and destroyed era...
    (with a mute and ignorant lovely exotic on a horse behind you) :oops:

    It's a trap, of course ;)
     
  11. Plan9

    Plan9 Standing in the Door Donor

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    It stopped being comedy gold a decade ago. You know, when I joined TFP. Everybody here has watched your fedora travel and your kid grow up. That's a long ass time, amigo.

    It is clearly up for discussion since it is constantly being posted on a public forum. But you do you. We probably don't have the full picture of your Count of Monte Cristo life.

    *glittery Plan9 Cares banner graphic*

    Did you marry into a Triad or something? I mean, I've seen a fair amount of Steven Seagal movies and I know we can get you out. How many henchmen are we talking about?
     
    • Like Like x 2
  12. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Nebraska
    I wonder more and more just what a MeltedMetalGlob sexual encounter would consist of. We know that he is scared to death of receiving head. What does MMG like? Kissing? Touching? Manual stimulation? How to move from that to vaginal penetration? How to get from "Hello" to PIV?:confused:

    Isn't a sexual relationship at least somewhat like the lottery? It's hard to win the lottery, I know, but if you don't put yourself out there and at least buy a few tickets winning will never happen.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    I look at it this way. I was always confused as to why metal would stay but it doesn't matter. If he feels this is his outlet I wouldn't want to stop that. I choose to live my life differently, but I know my way isn't for everyone either.

    Back in the old old days when this forum was still fueled by boobs, I got to help out a regular who was feeling very down on herself. That was nice, but no one really has enough here to be someones therapist.
     
  14. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    @MeltedMetalGlob it looks like your fans are having sexual fantasies for ya... :D

    Like Beyonce's fans protect her whether needed or not. :eek:

    Good to have sexy friends that care. :cool:
     
  15. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Weirder Than Normal Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    [​IMG]

    Well, I like a lot of foreplay, but in my case foreplay is usually 2-3 hours of begging.
    [​IMG]

    Then there's the actual act, which if you need a visual, take your most disappointing sexual encounter and multiply it by about 15.
    [​IMG]

    Finally, the afterglow, which is consists of the woman either throwing up or running to the shower to scrub her skin raw after making such a terrible mistake.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]


    That analogy holds true if you're single and dating. If you're in a marriage, then it's closer to nuclear tic-tac-toe... so if anyone remembers the movie Wargames, then you'll realize the only way to win...

    ...is to not play. :cool:
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  16. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Nebraska
    A great pic of Nebraska Huskers Head Football Coach Scott Frost at a boy's wrestling tournament. Coach Frost looks like he could still play the game. I get damp panties dreaming of him running the triple option through my backfield.:D

    Frost.png
     
  17. fflowley

    fflowley Don't just do something, stand there! Donor

    Are you lining up with two tight ends? Or the spread offense with multiple wide receivers?
     
    • Like Like x 2
  18. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member Donor

    The triple option, obviously.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Now wait just a minute...:confused: I know my end is tight...:cool: my wishbone is spread...:D are you saying that my receivers(s) is(are) wide?:mad:
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  20. fflowley

    fflowley Don't just do something, stand there! Donor

    If you want to really pound the ball up the middle go with the two tight ends.
    Spreading your receivers lets you put the ball in lots of different places.......You can line up a tight slot receiver too if you don't want them out wide.
     
    • Like Like x 1