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Tell me your deepest, darkest secret.

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Xerxes, Oct 30, 2012.

  1. Xerxes

    Xerxes Bulking.

    I'll start, I'm a kleptomaniac.

    The other day a coworker dropped he purse and her entire payckeck spilled out. I took the time to gather the bills and returned every cent to her. I kept her hair brooch, though.

    When I go to the grocvery store I have to steal batteries. I don't know why. When the apocalypse comes I'll have a massive hoard of AAA, AA & D cells.

    OK, you go.

    EDIT: OK, so I don't, like, sniff her hair brooch at night .. I just stole it cause, you know, I had an intense compulsion to keep it. Nothing sexual.

    I swear.
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2012
  2. I shot a man in Reno just to see him die.

    Not really. But it just popped in my head when I read this.

    I think I am ADD. My mind jumps around like that. I get bored. With virtually everything.
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2012
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Cayvmann

    Cayvmann Very Tilted

    I don't have any secrets, but I am a compulsive liar.
    • Like Like x 6
  4. Innocentmiss

    Innocentmiss Getting Tilted

    Umm my deepest darkest secrets are so well hidden even I don't know them! - Perhaps you could have a lesser secret instead, if you'll accept? I pretend to be normal! SHHHHHHHH
    • Like Like x 1
  5. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Dammit, I keep mixing this up with the COLONOSCOPY thread... :eek:

    Deep, Dark Secret.
    Hmm...only that I'm a chronic wanker. :eek:

    Ahh...in a previous life, I was a bit of a burglar...thus the name "rogue".
    Used to get the Fraternity House a few souvenirs to decorate with. ;)
  6. AlterMoose

    AlterMoose Slightly Tilted

    I had toyed with the idea of trying out a thread like this. Didn't know how it would be received. So thanxz for having more chutzpah than I have.
    I originally joined this community so I could have a safe forum for opening up about any sexual proclivities. So, no real deep, dark secrets there.
    So, two things that I typically don't ever tell anyone are 1) I never learned to ride a bike. and 2) I'm a cutter. Sometimes my depression gets so bad that I can either drink or cut myself. And if I'm drunk I can't guarantee the safety of the people around me. My upper arm is a lacework of scars.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Xerxes

    Xerxes Bulking.

    Oh come on. This isn't a surprise to anyone that frequents TFP.

    And ...

    Do you enjoy, colonoscopies, rogue49?

    You can tell us.

    It's a safe space.
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2012
  8. Joniemack

    Joniemack Beta brainwaves in session Donor

    Reading, UK
    Shit. My ex-husband was a cutter and a drinker. He also had a fondness for decorating his chest with an electric staple gun when he was really in his cups.

    Dude, get some help. Really, no kidding. :(
  9. Plan9

    Plan9 Standing in the Door Donor

    This Island Earth
    • Like Like x 1
  10. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Well...the thread "mix-up" was obviously a pun...but nah...I don't think I appreciate the sensation, I wouldn't make a good catcher.
    But that chronic wanking?...I think I may surpass most TFP'ers capacity even.

    But I'm surprised you didn't mention the burgler aspect...especially in relationship to your own tendencies.
    Thankfully, I've got it currently "in-hand"...but there are still notions of plans in my head.

    I also may be a bit of a horder...I'm trying to clean up my place right now, transfer things to storage.
    But I HATE to throw anything away...thinking I'll use it later.
    I've still got mail back to the early 90's
    Clutter & piles seems to be my style.

    And my anxieties can overwhelm me at times...and my serious resistance to anything I'm not interested in.
    It's like my mind, heart and soul "digs its heals" in...or denials of things I don't want to deal with. I'm fighting myself CONSTANTLY.
    I can truly be my own worst enemy.

    It's hard to categorize things as issues...some things might be just unfortunate events thrust upon you...not truly qualities of yourself.
    What is dark?
  11. CinnamonGirl

    CinnamonGirl The Cheat is GROUNDED! Donor

    I bought Britney's first CD.

    It was terrible, for the record.
    • Like Like x 3
  12. AlterMoose

    AlterMoose Slightly Tilted

    I appreciate the concern. I'm seeing someone, and I'll likely get on some sort of meds soon.
  13. Xerxes

    Xerxes Bulking.

    Lol, well, the kleptomania really is starting to get out of hand. It's a mix of some sort of anal-retentiveness (note: not OCD. I am not obsessive) and compulsion of my petty desire to say fuck you to the world. Like, I wouldn't steal anything of high value like a TV or something, but I would also not steal a bobby pin. A perfect example was the hair brooch, in my petty mind, I was able to inconvinience her by depriving her of the ability to impromptu need to fuix her hair up in case someone more handsome than I walks in the room.

    Seriously, that's how I think. Same reason I steal the pen that the DMV or court clerk attendant is using, cause, you know, they hardly have pens.
  14. I'm absolute rubbish at keeping commitments. I'm late to approximately everything that I do, if I show up at all.
    For instance, today, I made a commitment to myself that I was going to get caught up on my schoolwork and housework, and instead I sat around and watched Netflix and played Borderlands all day.
    I have very little self control.

    Also, I secretly think that Rebecca Black's first single (Friday) was so shitty because of Ark, the guys that wrote the song. Most of her newer stuff is actually pretty decent, if you're into that sort of music.
  15. martian

    martian Server Monkey Staff Member

    ...Yeah, no.
    • Like Like x 9
  16. Not even for a Klondike Bar?
  17. ring


    i don't think it's a big secret that i know who started a previous thread titled "Am i a sociopath?"
  18. Fangirl

    Fangirl Very Tilted

    No. fucking. way.
    I would have to kill you, if I did.
  19. Solitary Man

    Solitary Man Very Tilted Donor

    Don't have any which is :( !
  20. Zen

    Zen Very Tilted

    Closer ...

    Come closer ....

    That's right ..........

    Closer now .......

    psst psssssssst, psst psst psst pssst psst PSSST!

    Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...


    OK ... mum used to bounce me on her knee when I was five and there were funny feelings in my wee wee and I said I like playing horsey, please play more horsey and she said no and she stopped and we never played horsey again. I wondered if she thought I liked horsey too much and that that was wrong.

    I've never told anybody that before. You guys are the first, along with anybody who googles 'horsey' or wee wee. Ah the internet, where the world becomes so small and cosy.
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2012
    • Like Like x 5