Food Tilted Foodies... I need you to kill Larry.

I don't know if this belongs more in Tilted Food or Tilted Life, but seeing that food has become my life... here we are:

Greetings, TFPers.

My name is Plan9. And I've got a tapeworm. His name is Larry. He's the whole reason for this thread, actually. See, Larry and I have been together for as long as I can remember. Since I was a teenager. And, like all tapeworms, he's a freeloadin' asshole parasite that makes my life miserable but only in really subtle ways. I've been the same weight and had basically the same body composition for literally the last decade (minor drop down when I was starved for two weeks [~155], minor bump up when I was in the gym constantly [~175]). So, yeah, every meal I eat? I share with my unwanted internal companion. It's the reason why I'm consuming around a zillion calories a day. Today I was so pissed off at being hungry all the time that I actually took pictures and made a list of the day's intake. Tapeworm jokes aside, what gives? I'm a scrawny 30-something, work a desk job and I'm still eating like a hay-baling 10th grader. If all this delicious food wasn't free, I'd be digging myself in a hole here. For reals.

Crazy story? Don't believe me? Okay, this is what I ate today:



0815 hours - Breakfast
- 2.5oz Frosted Miniwheats cereal (240 calories)
- 8oz skim milk (75 calories, 7g protein)
- 5.5oz V8 tomato juice (30 calories)
- 2oz butter croissant (??, ??)
- 1oz Heinz strawberry jam (??, ??)
- 12oz Diet Coke (0 calories, 45mg caffeine)

1030 hours - Snack (Protein is delicious and filling!)
- 2.5oz METRx protein shake (250 calories, 38 grams protein)

1200 hours - Lunch (no picture, sorry)
- ??oz Romaine salad with chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, black olives, diced hardboiled eggs (??, ??) (no dressing)
- 8oz chocolate soymilk (140 calories, 6g protein)
- 8oz Sugar-Free Pitbull energy drink (0 calories, 80mg caffeine)

1400 hours - Snack (Why am I hungry?)
- Kashi TLC granola bar (120 calories, 5g protein)
- 12oz Diet Coke (0 calories, 45mg caffeine)

1500 hours - Snack II (Jesus, I'm starving)
- .75oz Heinz peanut butter
- 2.3oz Kashi GoLean Crunch cereal (240 calories, 12g protein)
- 8oz skim milk (75 calories, 7g protein)
- 2.5oz METRx protein shake (250 calories, 38g protein)



1930 hours - Dinner (Rancid Mother of Sodomy, stomach pains!)
- 2 "tuna melts" (no cheese, grilled with butter) on rye bread (??, ??)
- ?? Romaine salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, black olives (??, ??) (no meat, no dressing)
- 16oz skim milk (150 calories, 14g protein)

...

TFP Question:

How many calories is all that, ya think?

It's gotta be more than 2000. The protein supplements and cereal and milk alone are like 1300 by themselves.

What the hell can I change about my diet so I'm not hungry all the friggin' time? I'm doing my best to eat well considering where I work and I'd say the results speak for themselves--(*blatant double arm flex*)--but I just seem to be Mr. Grumbleguts all the time. It isn't boredom induced (my stomach is actually growling, I chew gum all the time and I'm busy most of the day staring at spreadsheets and chasing down people for signatures), it isn't from a lack of water (I put back big liter bottles of it all day) and it isn't from manual labor (although some days here are a little like working a chain gang). There is no logic to it. I have coworkers that skip meals with no problems. I would die. Something ain't right.

Do I need to eat more at breakfast? Do I need to eat more fat calories? Is more tuna the answer? (trick question)

Everybody here is big on weight loss solutions. That's great and all... but what about the fact that I'm eating for two and...

Say, are you gonna eat that?​

 

Good red meat isn't something I can get here. The bacon here is soggy and disgusting.

Sometimes they have lumps of cottage cheese. It's better than the sugary yogurt.

I'm on a "low-fat" diet because I'm sedentary. I sit in a rolly chair and gaze into Excel 12 hours a day.

 

Fat is still necessary in a sedentary diet. You should be concerned with limiting calories, not specifically fat.

You still need to take in a decent amount of fat for your body to function properly. Part of this is probably your hunger response.

 

They have nuts occasionally (salted mixed variety, I'd have to pick out the almonds and whatever).

I eat cold kidney beans on my salad whenever they are available.

 

Fat is important to your body. Do a quick search and you'll see articles linking low fat intake to; Depression, ADHD, vitamin deficiency and several other issues. Some of the more important vitamins need fats to carry them into your system, A, D, K are a couple. Kick up you fat intake a bit and monitor your response, your body will let you know what it wants. And if Larry gives you any more trouble, just eat the hottest peepers you can handle with every meal for a week. One of you will probably die as a result, problem solved either way.

 

What you've posted there is an appetizer, not a day's intake.

 

Hey, I work with what I've got.

...

Hmm, looks like I need to start eating more peanut butter. I didn't really realize that my diet was so unhealthy.

I definitely don't need to develop any depression or ADHD. Things are lame enough.

I have no idea how many grams of fat I'm taking in on a regular basis since it's hard to measure in a cafeteria setting.

I eat lasagna one night and Salisbury steak another. I don't get to pick what I eat.

Tomorrow's goal: 400 calories from fat.

/I can learn!

 

You need a bracelet: WWPBD

Next time you eat, just ask yourself "what would Paul Bunyan Do?" If you're about to eat anything that can't be described as a "slab" or "rack", recite the mantra and move on.

 

i don't know much about tapeworms, but why can you evict larry?

 

Another vote for the fats. When my snack calorie portions are so small, it feels like I'm constantly eating to stay 1 step away from flat out hunger.

When I eat something with a good balance of fat and not just empty calories, I can completely see the change in my performance the entire day.

 

Update:

Since the first post I've been eating gobs of peanut butter and more fat all around. I'm not nearly as ravenous, but it's still lurking in the corners.

I just did legs pretty hard tonight, though. I'm absolutely starving now. Ugh.

 

Half the calories you listed there are in the form of liquids.

 

whiskey for your men, beer for your horses, antifreeze for Larry