Tilted life : employment issue

I have laid low the last couple of years, licking some wounds. I have not worked for a year, living on savings that are quickly evaporating, but have now put myself back on the market.

Today I was offered a job, doing the work I know how to do, with people I am somewhat familiar with. It is 3/4 time, with no benefits. They are very familiar with my situation and know of some of my troubles, and they know of my strengths. They are familiar with the situation that happened at my workplace, and know some of those coworkers. I am sure there has been a lot of talk back and forth about hiring me, with some strong players vying for me, which I appreciate unendingly. However, there are a couple that are still in play that relentlessly targeted me before and it is making me very uneasy.

I might like this job and feel confident about doing the work. Somehow though, I feel rather setup for...I dont know. Rather than a salaried position like my last job, this would be hourly and when offered the job, the wage was stated as $1 less than what had been said in interview, with the caveat that maybe it would be raised after a 3 month trial period. This feels a bit punitive, a red flag that has me skiddish. Yet, I owe a lot to some of these people for protecting me in the face of the storm and for their continued support and friendship. Still, I am uneasy. Nonetheless, I said yes, I would take the job and be in on Monday, even though it might have made me a little sick in my mouth to do so.

To make matters worse or better, when I got home, I had a message that a whole different entity wanted to interview me tomorrow! It is a full time position that includes full benefits (dental!) I have no idea if I will be offered the job, but in many ways it is more appealing because of those benefits and because it would be s fresh start, perhaps something to look forward to rather than carrying the same baggage. It is an unknown though, again not even having been on site and certainly not having been offered anything.

And just to throw another wrench in the mess, the person they will call for references, my last employer and a major player, has been pushing heavily for me to get the first job and I would be working for one of her family members.

Anyway, I guess Im wondering what you would do and how you might approach a sticky situation such as this. Though I know you would never get yourself into such a bind, you might have known someone...or have an opinion.

 

Considering that my employers make $135-200/hr, is the reason that the $1 difference could seem somewhat punitive rather than a cost saving measure or as a possible holdout reward after 3 months. In other words its not that the $1 will make or break any of us. Of course the money isnt the issue, but having the salary reduced an hour after being told what your salary would be seems odd, and like I said somewhat punitive.

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts!

 

I agree with @genuinemommy on this one. a full-time position with benefits was your goal all along. your current employer left themselves open to this possibility when they hired you under the current conditions. take the interview and see if you could see yourself in the other job. if it seems like a good fit, then go for it.

 

Hey, thanks for your attention! We all concur that I will interview for job 2, even though I accepted job 1. That is a given.

The stickiness is in the timing and telling. If offered job 2, I want to have it known clearly to job 1 that I am interviewing for a different position elsewhere. If I am not offered the job or I choose not to take it, I dont want it known because of feelings of hurt or betrayal (not to be too dramatic, but you know what I mean: its not the best way to start a job). My instinct is to clearly let everyone know that I will be interviewing with an uncertain outcome, and that I am interested in both jobs; to be upfront about my position and why so that people can have in mind alternatives if need be. However, I know that I will be damaging relationships at job #1 if I do this, and if I later want to accept job #1, they might be unwilling to revisit the offer, or there will be ramifications of some sort or another however slight. I want to avoid that, yet I want to be ethical in my notifications.

And, there is that pesky problem that if job #2 is interested they will want to call my references, and my references are closely related to job #1. So, I really have to alert references that they may receive a call even though they have heard that I have already accepted a job that they lobbied hard for me to have, in which case I have some xplainin to do. I dont want that to occur. It doesnt feel right and feels dishonest on my part. Yet, I dont want to alert my references if I dont have to, again because of ramifications.

It all happened so fast in one call after another, that I barely had a breath let alone think things through, and now this pickle. On the one hand I should be so lucky! On the other, though, lies my past and present, and my probable future, and I want to step with care and grace. It matters.
Of course, if I were truly ethical I would let the interview go and honor my said commitment to job #1, but that seems stupid and not particularly in my best interest.

How do I keep the integrity of both positions, as well as my own. Thats the stickiness.

Maaannnnn, Im going to round and round this all night. Lets it the hay.

 

On the assumption you've had a good night's sleep, then ....

Good Morning!

As you approach this interview you've decided to go to, think only how to represent yourself at your very best. There are no issues of ethics or prudence in doing magnificently. Aim for a definite 'yes as long as references are OK'. Give such a compelling account of yourself that references will be useful only to confirm validity of your self-presentation.

Bottom line, go ahead and ACE that interview.

Also, have questions ready with option to walk around the site to decide whether YOU want the job. I remember your mentioning you needed to extablish that too.

That's ALL you need to do. Focus on the prize and it's value/acceptability to you.

________________________________________
________________________________________

After the interview is time to explore the seeming complexities.

Your previous employer urged heavily for you to be accepted for job number one. When you tell her to expect a request for reference, it would be difficult for her to back-peddle or give bad reference, because she'd seem an idiot for recommending you for job number one. Also, it's not like she was pushing you toward job one in the midst of uncontravertibly better offers. Therefore, express gratitude in advance for her continuing to help you get the security you need.

My point is she knows you're good enough to do the job, and imo, you'd only be slapping her support in the face if you were asking for reference for a job that offered nothing more than the one she already helped you get. As it is, she'd come across as a bit of a shit if she went anywhere other than "I'm so happy you've found something that so obviously will work better". She'd be losing face. Furthermore, I believe USA has some laws concerning references and that previous employers are keen to protect themselves against possible litigation.
Until yesterday, I assume there was not a raft of jobs number 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... so it's not like your previous employer was already I'm assuming she straight-forwardly encouraged and supported you toward your getting what was there and available - job number one.


Now, I appreciate that this present new job is 'in the family', so remember, it was not your previous employer, but the boss of job number one who suddenly changed the goal posts. Keep those two personalities separate in your mind.


Now, regarding job number 1, the one-dollar subraction AFTER the interview agreement is bait and switch. This goalpost-shifting indicates that their 90-day probationary period is merely another statement that they may or may not stick to. In my opinion, there would be nothing unethical in deciding they have failed their probation before it began. They have demonstrably committed to nothing, so you owe them nothing.

 

Call me cynical, but it sounds like the people in charge at JobOne are taking advantage of your situation......unless there is a VERY good reason for you being offered 3/4 hours and no benefits, and let's not forget the hourly wage discrepency. The carryover baggage that you mentioned could also be a problem, depending on the people involved. IME some people, despite their achievements and position, can not let go of petty feelings about past situations.

If the people helping you obtain JobOne are professionals, they should not be shocked that you're shopping yourself around, and might be ready to take a better offer. They should not have a problem with a reference check. Some people, however, aren't professionals.

Informing the people at possible JobTwo regarding your situation might be a good idea. Or not. Much depends on their level of professionalism.

EDIT--It just occurred to me that I've basically parroted much of what Zen already wrote. My apologies, but I'll leave the post as is.

 

I think your desire to be upfront is admirable. Regardless of the outcome, and how anybody else feels, I think its important that you come out of this feeling that you did the right thing, and that you treated people the right way.

I've always been very fortunate to enjoy an excellent rapport with bosses and supervisors, the kind of relationships where we were able to speak candidly about our careers and our options, and realistically about the fact that we were sometimes looking into other opportunities. I obviously don't know what your level of comfort is with your current employer, nor the particulars of your field in terms of workplace ethics. From that relatively limited perspective, here is my advice:

Tell your current employer exactly what is going on. Explain that you are happy to be back and grateful for the position. Remind them that your goal all along has been a full-time position with benefits. Explain that a new opportunity presented itself just after you accepted the position, one that was full-time. Remind them that your application for that job was concurrent with the job search that brought you to them, and that you are not actively searching at this time or filling out new applications, you just feel you owe it to yourself to see this opportunity through.

Tell them that it is important to you that this happens with transparency. You want them to understand exactly where you are coming from, and what your motivations are. If offered the other job, you will make a quick decision. If you decide to leave, you will do so in a responsible manner, working hard to transition out of the position with as little disruption as possible. If you decide to remain, you intend to stay on for a reasonable length of time. You will not be actively seeking other employment and this will not be a regular occurrence.

Also, stress that you would like to be able to use them as a reference. You do not want them to be blindsided if called. Confirm that in the face of all of this, they would still be comfortable recommending you favorably.

NOTE: the above assumes that everything said in the above paragraphs is TRUE.

I think your motivations here well-founded and honorable. If presented with these facts in a straight-forward, no-games manner, I think your employer is likely to understand as well. If they react badly, that may give you some important insight into the kind of person you would be working for if you stayed put.

I think the fact that you JUST accepted the position actually works in your favor. It would probably be less hard on your current employer if you left now, then if you left in a month. It is much easier to offer the job to another candidate if that offer is timely. They will have also invested relatively little time and effort in training and acclimating you.

 

It is 4 days since I last posted in my own thread, saying I was hitting the hay. I have not been sleeping all this time. Instead, suddenly life exploded The situation remains sticky, but for entirely different reasons. Job #2 is totally out of the picture. I cancelled the interview by letting them know I had accepted a different job, choosing instead to go with a known entity and good salary. Upon further conversation, that $1 salary diff became reasonable rather than punitive just as Borla suggested. So, this has become a whole new OP, but rather than begin again lets keep the continuity of history.

I am afloat in drama and just now as I write this I can feel panic beginning, the bile in my throat. This drama is not mine, but I am intimately involved and trying to keep my head up and breathe.

I was alerted in person by the employer, whom I know personally, that a position had become open, with the probable expectation that I would apply. I formally applied with cover letter, resume, and refs. After being voted in by the majority, 1 person whom I worked with at a prior job and who at that time mercilessly attacked me to the point of almost being asked to leave, got wind of my hiring and has begun that attack again. It is an attack on my integrity and is really, really vicious and outspoken. I worked well with this person for 10+ years, in fact they employed me, with the last year being outrageous and toxic to every single person in the environment due to that persons constant and petty complaints, interoffice memos rife with rumor mongering, attempts to play personalities off one another, and so forth, all about me. Mediation was suggested and that person refused, insisting that I be fired. When I was not fired or reprimanded, that person tried to rally every other person to his defense by staging meetings, polling, and so forth. I remained uncomfortably at the position with my head down for about a year before that person chose to leave.

Now 3 or so years later, and after a year off from work altogether, I have been voted in based on my reputation, and offered and accepted a similar position with some of the same players, who encouraged me onward, and continue to do so. Before I have even begun though, that person has written a letter stating clearly everything he dislikes about me and smearing my character, with a not quite veiled threat that he will again begin to rally for me not to be acceptable, which means he will begin a letter writing campaign, talking behind my back, and so forth.

Theres more to the story, how I have been asked to respond (not at all, in any way), the way in which people have rallied behind me, the cooperative approach that is sought, etc. I will revisit this later this afternoon or evening, but right now I have to go to for coffee with a friend.

Thanks for listening.
Later.

 

Not responding in any way at all sounds like a good idea. Any paper trail will then demonstrate the malicious party as doing it all without anything that could be interpreted as recent provocation from you.

I look forward to hearing further details and developments.
Best wishes.

 

Yes.
So.

Here is the email from my new boss informing me that the smearing will now continue, with names/pronouns changed:

Dear girldetective:
You will see below a belated vituperative response to your hiring and my response to it. This is not unexpected. That person is not doing this to help the collective, but to pursue their personal vendetta against you. We want the board members to see this for themselves. The way you can win this struggle is by doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Please let me handle it.

In business battles, the coolest head always wins. Don't let that person's inappropriate attack goad you into an emotional response, which is the only way they can make you look bad or give any credence to their charges of unprofessionalism. That person is the one who is being unprofessional, putting their own need to punish you above the welfare of the organization they are supposed to be serving. The way to end this is to keep it that way.

That person's next step will be to try and get the "other members" they refer to, to write emails to support their charges. That person has done things like this before. If they do, my response will be to ask publically who they are doing this for. This will make it clear that they are using their position on the board to punish someone whom they believe has wronged them. Our best defense is no defense at all. Let their own anger betray them.

This is the board's first introduction to you. Let them see only your calm professional side, saying that person is welcome to their opinion, and not justifying it by defending against it or being hurt by it. The board's sympathy will be with you, not with that personal attack against your integrity.

Please let me know that you understand what I am asking you to do and why I am asking you to do it. If you cannot do what I'm asking, please at least let me know what you are going to say before you say it. If you have questions, please call me. I believe this abusive outburst by someone who did not bother to check their email is offering you the opportunity to be rid of the issue for good by showing that they are the lesser person.
I hope we can work together to end these attacks once and for all. It may get worse before it gets better, but that will be to our advantage if you can handle it with grace.

 

That does not bode well.
Really who needs that shit in their life.
Sure you can be the better person but why should you have to?

I agree with cythetiq, it just seems a lot simpler to find another job.

 

Hello @girldetective.

My last post supported the 'don't feed the troll' recommendation. Your subsequent information indicates your adviser is a player in a corporate game that's already well underway - a game in which you are a pawn. Your 'high ground' is compromised given that it is 'you as sock puppet' under the command of your new employer, rather than part of a self-initiated strategy under your own control. "It might get worse before it gets better" ... how much or how worse are you expecting to put up with, and for what remuneration.


Meanwhile, in job number one, "If you have questions, please call me", I'd limit your communications with employer about this issue to emails and other paper-trailable messages.

"Please let me know that you understand what I am asking you to do and why I am asking you to do it. If you cannot do what I'm asking, please at least let me know what you are going to say before you say it." You're being asked to sign away your rights to independent emotional response.

Please note ... your employer may be entirely benign toward you. H/er convincing communication toward you may well, and imo, probably is backed up by sincerity. Similarly your old employer's strong wish that you take up your present position. But if I read between the lines and hallucinate a situation where family members share concerns about a board member and mention your name as being the ideal one to put on the board as entrapment strategy, I cannot see them putting your welfare as high as you need.

I, too, say 'get out of that job', would like to know your reasons for cancelling the inteview at the Job Number Two, and ask whether you could reconnect with the number two possibility.

Your reasons for cancelling the interview are important as they might be indicators of your present areas of strength and weakness. I'd love to know what, on that morning, triggered you to cancel the interview.

Best wishes.