Type A woman who is really a slave

I am giving myself to my master and I have waited my whole life to find him. I am usually the dominating one and type A female, but never wanted to be and always looked for my soul mate and man who I would trust enough to own me. I found him finally by accident. I am scared, and I have so many emotions going through me, and no one to talk to that would understand .
I know I want this more that breathing. I have been talking with him for 2 years with business and in the past 6 months we have been together. I am about to meet him in two weeks. I am not used to not knowing what to do. I usually control men, but at heart a slave.
Not really sure what to do, and at the same time I realize there is nothing to do and I have no control. I am not used to having no control. Is there any Type A women who are bread winners and like me? I do not have girlfriends, and I have no one to talk to. I am going on but the end result is I am in love, and want to give my master everything , and I am afraid of getting hurt because I will give him everything and have no walls.

 

How sure are you that this is entirely voluntary and consensual on your part, and what has he done to assure you that he will respect your withdrawal of consent if you choose to leave the relationship at any point in the future? Have you made plans that would allow you to immediately and completely sever contact with him if the relationship ends for any reason?

If you can't answer those questions comfortably and completely, this arrangement is not safe or healthy for either of you.

 

But if it is entirely voluntary and you understand the true nature of what you are doing than congratulations.
There aren't that many people who a) find someone they can submit to completely and b) are willing to leave all inhibitions behind.

If you can do that more power to you.
I have found that in true sub/dom relationships the sub actually has the greatest degree of control.
Certainly the dom is giving commands but as the sub you have power of placement.
He has to follow your arranging of the order of things.
Make sure you have a safe word so the minute you don't feel safe, it can be shut down.
Despite his being the 'master' this is a two way street and requires both of you to make it work.

 

It's important to have some padding between the soul-sucking tedium of reality and the whips-'n-chains of fantasy. Gives you some perspective.

I'd recommend finding friends through a hobby/activity so that your life is more than just work during the day and 50 Shades of Grey at night.

 

You've decided to give yourself to someone that you've never actually met in real life?

 

I picked up on that, too.

To the OP - you don't come across as being sure about this. I recommend meeting him in a safe place before you decide anything. People can be anyone on this here intarweb. Be safe.

 

Ditto on this, it was also something I immediately picked out and thought "WTF..? Totally giving yourself to some you've never met??" Sounds very reckless... Take things slow and be cautious, for usre O.O

Also, the binary roles of dominant and submissive existing as strictly and mutually exclusive roles scare the hell out of me. I couldn't (not wouldn't, but couldn't, mind you) ever trust any other human that much, and would never trust myself to be truly worthy of totally controlling someone else's life, no matter how much I cared for them.

 

Thank you for your responses. Yes, it is voluntary, and I brought it up and the lifestyle because it was just naturally how I feel about him. It had never happened before, and it's how I feel about him and ready to give everything to him. It might sound a little strange that we have not met yet, but we talk on Skype . lol I have known him for a couple of years and romantically for the past 6 months we are in the same industry. We are buying a house together right now, and plan on marriage, kids, the whole normal thing but with sexual slavery.
I think I was having anxiety because I needed to read more and understand the process being somewhat of a control freak by nature. There is a lot of planning and talking with one another about our goals, and expectations and we are both part of the process from what I have been reading. I want to give everything to him, and trust him 100% . I think Plan9 is correct as well I don't think either of us think we are going to meet and go right into the two roles, but learn about it together and see what we like and change if there is something we don't like.

 

Also....maybe my perception of what a slave is different. I have been on a few sites reading and really trying to find what I like, what I do not like, and understanding my sexuality.
I have had messages from Doms saying add me and I will be your master. It's not about that for me. I fell in love with someone for the first time where I don't feel like holding back, and I do feel like giving him everything and all of me. I have done so much in my life and achieved a great deal and now, I just want to be in love and put that person first. I want to be everything he would ever want and make him happy.
I want him to use me when he wants and bend me over various furniture, and use my body as his playground. I am not judging anyone but when I get messages that I can be your dom, it's not about that for me. I don't have a desire to be anyone's slave. I love this man and want to give my entire being to him and only him. I want him to dominate me and be a man, and I was never happy in relationships where I dominated my partner, which was always. I know I am a type A dominating woman, and thank god I found someone who is better at it than me and I respect him. I want to be his slave, it will be the best day ever when I am with him, and next to him and doing whatever he asks of me.
I am being more emotional at the moment than normal because of messages I have received, and it's not about anyone owning me...for me it's an expression of total love and giving this person my heart, body , and soul. If 10 years down the road he hurts me, or I hurt him and everything blows up...at least I really loved someone and went for it. I have spent a good 15 years going half way and being bored and wanting to claw my eyes out. I have never wanted to just have 3 children in our house and do lawn work on the weekend and have everyone do chores, and find my husbands socks because he does not know where they are. I am just not that woman. I am tired of apologizing to men that I don't cook, or I have no clue where there socks are and why because I have a pussy I should know not to put bleach in the wash with dark colors. (long story).
I have met my match, and maybe it's called love based slavery. I have no idea. I am going to give myself 100 percent to him and be happy everyday that I can serve him sexually. I actually really really love sex, so it's not like it's a stretch for me. Giving up control is a huge thing for me, but I will gladly do this for him and with him because he deserves it, and he understands it.

 

"It might sound a little strange that we have not met yet, but we talk on Skype . lol I have known him for a couple of years and romantically for the past 6 months we are in the same industry. We are buying a house together right now, and plan on marriage, kids, the whole normal thing but with sexual slavery."

Is there any way you two could meet before buying a house and moving in together? Because no matter how attractive you find each other on Skype, you really don't know if you have physical chemistry until you meet in person.

If you want to read about real-life Master/slave or Dominant/submissive lifestyles, read through the forums on Collarchat.com. The regular posters have been living this for real for many years and offer a lot of good information if you take the time to search it out.

There are also Master/slave groups on Fetlife.com with very active threads. You don't have to join either site in order to read the forums.

Cheers, and good luck on your journey.

 

thanks. Could I meet him before we move into our house...yes for about two weeks. I am being honest..and with all this build up, and years of talking..l will probably not be popular but I am meeting him in a hotel room with a blind fold on. I mean really after all this build up how else can you meet? I cannot think of a way that makes sense other than this way.

 

I talked to Jadzia online and on the phone for over a year before meeting her IRL.

I flew down and spent a wild 2 weeks here in Jersey where we established many of the roles we were to play throughout our marriage.
It might be worth having such a two week connection with the understanding that if things don't work out NHNF.
Both of you can walk away without there being any hurt or recriminations.

 

Well this changes everything. Scrap what I said before. I think before he gets there you should strip naked and handcuff yourself to the bed. Oh, and write "ur slut" on your belly. I'm not being disrespectful - it's common for some Masters to call their slaves their slut, unless humiliation is a hard limit for you.

 

You could also lay out an assortment of floggers and toys for him to use.
Don't use handcuffs, they're for amateurs and can cut off the circulation.
Get some leather leg and wrist restraints.
If you're going to do it, might as well do it right.

armatures/amateurs same thing you know

 

Sock puppets, as far as I know, do not have a circulatory system. The worst that could happen is that a little stuffing falls out. So the best gear would be a needle and thread, unless needles are a hard limit for her. Just sayin'... ;->

 

Brilliant.

 

I usually do not know when people are being sarcastic, or screwing with me pretty black and white person. Marzun, not a problem with the slut thing or various other names that I will answer to, and are hot. I had someone email me explaining a sock puppet, and not really sure I understand it after the explanation.
I just think with all the build up... I want to meet this way in blindfold with little skirt on and garters, and we have discussed it at length, and have a plan. I do not want to pick him up at the airport, and have an awkward moment or meet him in the hotel lobby, after 2 years of talking and 6 months of video love.
Too weird for me. It is not lost on me that being naked other than a stripper outfit and blindfold seems normal to me and a better approach, and not awkward.

 

I have known women who have made similar leaps of faith for love. I don't have any reason to think BIC is anything but exactly what she says she is. The sock puppet thing is funny, but rude, and not justified, I think.

 

I am going to try and state my views diplomatically. I happen to keep up with another site where it was recently revealed that several posters were the same person, and they were all banned. Their posts were long and became inflammatory, causing a free-for-all.

So I get an email from Tilted (they missed me). I hadn't been here in a long time but decided to visit and escape the drama from my regular site. Lo and behold, I come across this thread. The more it went on, the more I got the feeling the writing style was familiar.

After my first reply to the OP, I went and read her profile and other posts, including one where she talks about being banned from a site the week before. Hmmmm...

Whether it's the same person or not...sometimes just plain ol' common sense says the story is getting way too unbelievable. Come on - buying a house together before meeting? Blindfolded in a hotel? Excuse me, now it's blindfolded and wearing a stripper outfit.

I'm not making my comments to be rude. I'm raising the possibility of a sock puppet because people who reply with a sincere desire to help should at least keep in mind that this might be fiction and they're gettin' played.

If I'm wrong, I apologize. And my first reply to this thread was made with a sincere desire to help her.