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Want to try swinging

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Nikki Leigh, Dec 18, 2012.

  1. Nikki Leigh

    Nikki Leigh New Member

    After much discussion and fantasizing, my husband and I want to try swinging. The problem is that we are both new to the Houston area and we don't know many people or where where to start. I was thinking a swinger's club would be a good place to start.
    Thoughts? Advice? Anybody familiar with the Houston, TX area and can recommend a good club?

  2. the_jazz

    the_jazz Accused old lady puncher Donor

    Sorry Nikki Leigh, I can't help. I don't know if you'll find what you're looking for here - you might want to try local resources. We're a global general discussion board with I guess an emphasis on sexuality. The chances of getting a great tip for exactly what you're looking for is relatively small.

    Good luck, though.
  3. theaelfinn New Member

    I cant speak to Houston but the swingers club where i live in Indiana is amazing. I got to believe a club is a godo place to start though. The one here has nice folk's.
  4. freeqgirl

    freeqgirl New Member

    I would maybe put a post on craigslist and ask if anyone knows what club cater to swingers. Then you can always call the club and make sure you are getting proper information. :) Good LUCK!!!
  5. Wildandwonderfulwv

    Wildandwonderfulwv Vertical

    West Virginia
  6. whoknewhawtwife Vertical

    My Mr. and I haven't even had our first encounter yet, but in our terribly limited experience, I personally would encourage a couple to attend a swinger's club or event and avoid Internet hook-ups. Photos can be deceiving, and online profiles incomplete -- or worse, inaccurate. No better way to get an honest gauge on a person/persons than by meeting in person. There's a lot to be said for that little primal voice inside called "instinct." :)
    • Like Like x 1
  7. curiousbear

    curiousbear Terse & Bizarre

    • Like Like x 1
  8. whoknewhawtwife Vertical

    Thank you, @curiousbear! Maybe I'll pick up a few things there I can share here. (pun pun. *guffaw*)

    Bad joke aside, I am indeed looking for intelligent discussion, not so much warm bodies as of yet. I'll scout The Swingers Board.
  9. james t kirk

    james t kirk New Member

    Toronto Canada
    I have been to a few swinger's clubs in Toronto. Started going about 4 or 5 years ago. Toronto has several swinger's clubs and best of all, it's legal (the state has no business in the bedroom of the nation), and you enjoy the experience "on premise".
    Anyway, I started going with my then GF (now wife). It was my idea, and she was a bit hesitant at first. though open to the idea. The first time we went it was extremely thrilling. Hugely sexual and I had never seen anything like it in my life. Scores of couples having sex out in the open, swapping of partners, orgies, you name it. To me, it was all good clean fun. My partner initially was a very active participant and I never felt so attracted to her as I did when we went to "the club". It's crazy if you think about it, it violates every social norm that we were ever raised with (in western society) with respect to monogamy being the highest order of any relationship possible, however, I have to say that it really thrilled me to see her with another man. Sort of a form of cuckoldry I suppose, but without the BS contrived "humiliate hubby" crap you see on line.
    Conversely, I got to enjoy having sex with different women without the specter of "cheating" raising its ugly head. We cheated on each other together. No need to slither around behind her back having sex with other women. She was there, she was an active participant, and best of all, it was entirely on a sexual level. No messy feelings to get in the way.
    One couple we met once who were very much into "the lifestyle" summed swinging up perfectly - "if you are a strong and secure couple that are sexually driven, swinging will make your relationship stronger than ever, but if you are insecure about your relationship, it will blow it apart"
    Very true.
    My partner went through a 2 year period where she became disinterested in Swinging. This was a huge dilemma for me as I really and truly enjoyed it and wanted to continue. If I had my way, I'd be off to the club about once a month. I seriously thought about dumping her over the issue because I felt betrayed. She had actively participated in it for 2.5 years and seemed to thoroughly enjoy it (as did I), but something in her inner being just decided that she didn't want to participate any more. Only in the last few months has she ventured back to the Swinger's club and even then, we did not go "full swap" as we had done so many times in the past where she would sometimes have intercourse with 2 or 3 different males in the course of a night and a woman or two. (Easily done.)
    My situation with swinging remains - I love it, she is tentative about it.

    But my recommendation to you would be simple, "if you are confident in your relationship and you are excited at the prospect of trying it - then go for it".
    Oh, and the one dilemma you WILL face at a swingers club in the concept of "taking one for the team" You are a couple, you meet other couples (in the front room or the back room) and you might be very attracted to one member of the other couple, but your partner is not attracted to the other half. Makes for a real problem.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. mixedmedia

    mixedmedia ...

    oh my god, it's james t. kirk.
    --- merged: Nov 15, 2013 at 6:42 PM ---
    I have never 'swung' but I did look into it at one point and I used the website noted above by wildandwonderful. I got in touch with a group that holds bi-monthly parties at a private home. Never went, though. It was not exactly what I was looking for. But I can vouch for the usefulness of that website.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 22, 2013
  11. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted Donor

    The idea is intriguing, but I have never been with a partner who would consider it.
  12. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & don't criticize.

    Large City, TX
    Excellent!! James T. Kirk had boldy returned to where he's been before. Yes, that's lame, the part of my brain that says "screw it, post it anyway" won the debate.
  13. Herculite

    Herculite Slightly Tilted

    My wife and I have been swingers for over 10 years now. Done right its awesome, done wrong its a horrible drama bomb. Doing it right will vary some couple to couple, but doing it wrong tends to follow the same pattern.

    Weak marriage
    Attempting to repair failed sex drives
    One feels forced into it
    One wants to go much faster than their partner
    One thinks that solo dating is just like swinging
    Males who think that FMF is what is going to be happening for them
    • Like Like x 1
  14. PatG New Member

    Back when "we used to do what we used to do" , never went to a club or party. We would meet directly with a person or couple. Alas the format we used to meet people has now gone the way of carbourators, but we were particularily pleased with it.
  15. Herculite

    Herculite Slightly Tilted

    Its still alive and well.
  16. PatG New Member

    Not saying the activities aren't alive and well, just that the way we used to meet people is no more.
  17. Herculite

    Herculite Slightly Tilted

    I'm confused, do you mean you don't meet couples this way, or that people as a whole don't meet couples this way?
  18. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted Donor

    I presume he's referring to some very specific, safe, friendly venue for meeting people with similar inclinations.
  19. Plan9

    Plan9 Firmware Donor

    This Island Earth
    ...you mean couples don't exchange winks at hotel bars and then head upstairs together for some largely anonymous hip thrust action?

    TeeVee lied!
    • Like Like x 1
  20. fflowley

    fflowley Don't just do something, stand there! Donor

    Don't be ridiculous.
    We all know that the women meet in the gym locker after working out, some playful flirtation ensues, knowing glances are exchanged and then the party gets rolling.
    • Like Like x 1