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What Can't You Do?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by martian, Dec 20, 2013.

  1. Levite

    Levite Levitical Yet Funky

    Location:
    The Windy City
    I can't do math. Like, anything beyond around fourth-grade level. I had basic algebra and geometry in there for around three or four years, and then it just up and vanished like a fart in the wind....
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. DAKA

    DAKA DOING VERY NICELY, THANK YOU

    One day "you", all you young uns' will come to the realization that just because in your head you THINK that you can IT, whatever IT is, your BODY will tell you NO FRIGGIN' WAY
     
  3. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    You know what else I can't do?



    /mandatory H&O

    ...

    What else? Hmm, I can't not attempt to make stupid jokes when I'm in a group of people. It's an irresistible impulse with a 50/50 success rate. I feel the need to try to be funny in meetings, while doing presentations, at dinner parties, etc.

    I'm not particularly attractive or wealthy or intelligent, so humor is the one thing I attempt to bring to the table. I think its a confidence-building thing I do because I realize I'm similar to a sack of Yukon Golds in many ways: small potatoes.
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2013
    • Like Like x 1
  4. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    I've tried my entire life, but I can't whistle at all.
     
  5. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted


    Me neither.


    I have attended, in person, three football games in the last fifty years -- one high school, two university.

    That probably counts as watching a game all the way through.


    Neither can I. That's why I became the boss.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2013
  6. itwasme

    itwasme But you'll never prove it.

    Location:
    In the wind
    I can't open half the jars in my kitchen without the help of my teenage daughter. She doesn't show me how she does it. She just says "It's all in the science, Mom," then turns around to open it. Their science teacher taught the kids how to open them, and they aren't sharing that tidbit of "how" to their parents.
     
  7. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member


    You, sir, need this number: 719-26-OATES.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Leto

    Leto Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    Toronto


    you know, i looked at all that wrapping you did, and I think they are glorious. AND way better than I could ever do. AND FURTHERMORE... I bet Magpie loves you for it. I say, one less present that you (or she) had to wrap in all that had to be done, is one more batch of cookies that could be baked (which by the way, I SUCK at).
    --- merged: Dec 23, 2013 at 4:23 PM ---


    Apparently I can't cook. According to my wife at any rate. Even though I've worked as a cook at restaurants, hotels and cruise ships.... I just don't know how to plan and execute a meal. At home. Well, I have a problem with poached eggs too. I've executed in the restaurant kitchens flawlessly. But at home? I can never get it right. So I end up doing about 6 eggs, and pulling them out of the water at different times, and providing a selection for the appropriate poke test. I like them runny or solid. and everywhere in between. So i just take the left overs.

    I guess what I am good at is being adaptable.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 30, 2013
  9. Terrell

    Terrell Vertical

    Skates would be more useful to me if I could wear them on my ass, they're useless on my feet.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted

    I don't know what a poached egg is.

    I guess I could look it up, but I'm not that curious.
     
  11. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Poached eggs are glorious. They're simmered in water until cooked to the desired consistency. I love poached egg on toast. They're typically what tops an eggs benedict.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    My brother the trained chef now does eggs benny every Christmas morning.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Skating is another area where I'm thoroughly deficient. I'm a klutz on roller skates, and a disaster on ice skates. I took ice skating lessons once several years ago, and I was thrilled that I could stay upright and actually move from one side of the rink to the other. Unfortunately, I never did learn to stop correctly, so it was still a white knuckle ride every time. It's clearly not my forte.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Japchae

    Japchae Very Tilted

    Ditto. I can't skate on skates of any kind.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  15. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    I was a helluva sight, yelling at kids to get out of the way, because I had no brakes....not exactly my finest moment :oops:
     
  16. Levite

    Levite Levitical Yet Funky

    Location:
    The Windy City
    I never learned to ride a bike. Didn't have great balance as a kid, by the time I developed better balance after acting and a little assorted martial arts classes, I could drive a car, and didn't feel any particular need to bicycle. Occasionally, on finding this out, someone will offer to teach me. But honestly, I just don't have any desire to learn. I know it seems weird, but there it is....
     
  17. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    Ah, reminds me of my MacGyver years: I went out on a few dates with a girl, fucked her a few times and then taught her how to ride a bicycle.

    What kinds of things have you taught women, @Levite? I know you're a teacher.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Another thing I can't do well. There's gotta be an easier way to end up with wet toast.:rolleyes:
     
  19. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    Hahaha, it's like French toast... before you grill it.

    ...

    I can't seem to use my dining room table for eating.

    I read at it. I do projects on it. Then I eat on my couch. Or at my desk.

    I feel like it isn't something a proper human being should do but I can't seem to train myself otherwise.

    ...

    I can't drive 55.

    Like most human beings, I add ten to the speed limit.

     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2013
  20. Levite

    Levite Levitical Yet Funky

    Location:
    The Windy City
    Primal screaming. Deep breathing. Finding inner peace.

    That kind of thing....
     
    • Like Like x 3