What is your pointless talent?

I can tell which family member is in the house by their footsteps.

 

The overall utility of that skill declines rapidly after high school, doesn't it? Maybe some day, science will find other important uses for the underarm fart. Til then, keep the skill alive, just in case.

 

I'm a drummer

 

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless


I'm better than anyone I know at removing splinters. That used to be fairly useless; but since we installed a wood burning stove, it's come in handy.

 

i'm an excellent driver....

 

How are you with the short irons and putter?

 

What does it say that I was sitting here thinking nearly the same things? It's either a case of great minds thinking alike, or.....

 

…or yer both ready for spring!

 

I think you may be onto something, @paddyjoe!

 

I can draw a freehand outline map of the US states. I can also draw an outline map of Michigan counties.

I also use the periodic table of the elements to remember numbers, like hotel room numbers, parking space numbers, lock combinations, bank card PINs, etc. For example, to remember 3385, I think "Arsenic-Astatine".

I don't regularly use any padlocks any more, but I still have some with the combination written on the back in chemical notation, such as S-N-V for 16-7-23.

 

I can't do that but I can do something similar using a blade of grass between my thumbs.


View: http://youtu.be/qc9Zc2g9D94

 

I, too, have a large head, and it is difficult to find hats that fit.

My newest hat was knitted-to-order by somebody on Etsy.

 

Depending on the blade of grass, I can get this to work... sometimes. Again, depending on the blade of grass.

The grass, in turn, says, "It's not me, honey. It's you."

 

If I had a nickel for all the times I heard that...

 

I can wiggle my ears singly and in tandem, flare my nostrils and curl my lip. I can make little clopping sounds by flopping my tongue down in my mouth. The tone changes depending on how you hold your mouth, and it can be done rather rapidly. So it is a way to make little tunes or sound like I'm drinking a large quantity of liquid.
The one I do regularly is whistle through my teeth. You don't use your lips to do that. Which means you can whistle through a straw, or while tapping a pencil against your teeth, or grinningly madly. Stealth whistling. I can actually make short whistles with my mouth closed - the limitation is the way my mouth fills with air and it puffs up my cheeks. Different times I've heard other people whistle through their teeth but they always sound raspy and they don't seem capable of carrying a tune the way I do. It doesn't take much air to do this, and I've whistled into a microphone a looong descending note (picture Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff). The coolest part is humming and whistling at the same time. It makes a sound unlike anything else.

 

I have a crazy memory for trivia, names, dates, etc. Comes in damned handy when I teach history, or for writing rabbinic responsa (which, like legal briefs or judicial opinions, are full of references to codes and precedents; but also to prior rabbis-- mostly referred to by acronyms or biblionyms). I also do extremely well at Trivial Pursuit and similar games.

I have mad skills at deconstructing recipes by taste: I sample a sauce, I can usually tell with high accuracy what went into it, and about how much.

I'm a natural speed-reader. Given peace and quiet, I can read an average of 100 pages an hour (probably ranges from around 85-125 pages). Dense material, like philosophy, academics, and so forth tends to slow me down a bit-- anywhere from 20% to 50% slower, depending on the complexity of the material. And I can only speed-read in modern English: my reading speed in other languages (including Middle English and Anglo-Saxon) is relatively normal.

 

Ask ZombieSquirrel if she would consider that a useless talent right about now

According to my girls, I can mess up their rooms just by walking in and opening my eyes. They swear it was clean just 5 minutes ago.

I know which leaf makes the best toilet paper in the woods. (Long story I'll skip)