Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by cynthetiq, Feb 9, 2018.
Other people’s expectations...
Are you giving or receiving 1099s?
..... (after a brief layoff due to the fact we just moved into new house).... I'm sitting here catching up on posts at 1am (kids and wife zzzzzzz).
Regarding this topic.... OK... my input.
When someone confides in you of their past that goes against your morals. ..but you are interested into all the intricate details and not become judgmental.
Well, this person, confided that during their single years, was "the other woman". She liked him a lot, he was in a loving relationship with two beautiful girls. Adored & loved his wife but wanted a little more.
These two were also workmates and the liaison went on for a little over 2 years. He basically would either txt her where he was or leave a message on her work email. She loved the attention and the action she got. She would literally drop everything to be with him each time he contacted her. She conscented to what sexual acts he liked performing even though at times it made her feel uncomfortable. .. but he never forced her or convinced her othrwise. He was a very gentle person. (Strange even reliving these thoughts she described to me).
At first she loved the fact he would go hard the second they embraced - she loved that manhood pressing against her. And the occassional rubbing agains her body. Apparently reasonable girth to it - I trust her on that.
Although sex was not on for a good 10-12 months, she tried to convince him to go in, but he did not want to - through respect of her. Rather coming on her instead - which she loved that warm sensation.
She was never a fan of (recieving) a good licking but seeing how he enjoyed it down there, she allowed it. Her benefits of the orgasm made it worth it.
On one occassion she wanted to go down on him but he did not want her to go down this path. But with a bit of convincing he did let her lick him only. Which made her orgasm each time.
She did not want this secret liaison/relationship to stop but realised that she was becoming attached to his wife and kids (as a friend). She would visit the kids buy them gifts for birthday and Christmas . At times babysit them whilst he and his wife went out.
So they agreed to mutually stop this charade. It literally killed her keeping such a secret.
Although she confided in me this is the one and only time it has resurfaced. She confided this in me 6 months after we stared dating and become sexual. That was 20 years ago. ... she is still my wife of 17 years.
And it will go to our grave together.
Off to bed. Work in the morning.
Wow now that was heavy..
(No we don't do those things and more not penned/mentioned they did, despite she have enjoyed some of them...she does not want to relive those experiences and related it back to him).
(But she does treat me to a good licken - as a random act of kindness to me. Meaning also I need to keep shaven at times).
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Used to have to do them. Cost us over $3k when I thought I'd paid them one quarter but had not. IRS caught the error. I felt like an idiot.
1099 is just an information form sent out at the end of the year, like a W-2. Maybe a 941?
Sorry, I meant taxes as a 1099 employee. Figuring out what to pay, where to do it, and not to forget on a quarterly basis. Should have been "taxes as a 1099"
My wife (we, filing jointly) got nailed on 1099 Employee, had to pay what was owed, and were placed on a quarterly payment plan.
Nobody told you at your young age about getting old
I never really thought about getting old and what goes with it...Skiing was fun till it got boring...then jumping things was fun...now the knees...
Motorcycles were fun till I crashed a few times....that shoulder used to be able to have more roatation,,,
Sports car racing was fun till a few crashes...
But, in your early life, mostly it healed and you were good to go.....BUT now at 83...all those healed(?) parts have come back to roost.
Neglect of authority figures.
Meaning the people you were told that were supposed to care and help you negotiate issues,
don't have the time or mind to do so.
etc...and so on
It seems that we're constantly compensating for those leaders who...
it's not a priority
not aware or competent
distracted by issues (personal or professional)
distracted by volume (too many clients, too many tasks, too many responsibilities, too much of anything)
not paying attention (for whatever reason...including simply sleep or food or kids...and so on)
And, And, And...
And then you find yourself twisting like a pretzel or scrambling or cleaning up...what could have been prevented...or took longer than needed...or paying out the nose
Or, Or, Or...
Life is more complicated due to the leaders NOT leading.
I get some income as a "consultant" with no withholding kept out. I get 1099ed on that income. And it's always a crapshoot how much my income will be from capital gains and part time work. So my accountant works out a generous estimate and I have BillPay send the IRS a check quarterly. I'm almost always overpaid. And that's the way I want it. I can take the overage as a refund come tax time or apply it to the next year. I just want to stay off of those guys radar screens.
To be happy in an unhappy world.
Dealing with the unknown.
I had a very planned childhood. I knew when vacations were, planned for them for months, knew what was going to happen. I never saw my parents winging it. They must have, but it was not visible.
But so much of life is unpredictable. And that is what I am unprepared for. I can adapt, but there is a lot of emotional turmoil involved. Far more than there should be.
Dealing with Disappointment
There is just so much that doesn't go as I expect. And I need to constantly adjust my sails to catch the wind. That is hard to do when my attention is still focused on the disappointment of that last thing going wrong.
Living in the Moment
So much of my childhood was spent planning. Or looking forward to something very far away. Or even imagining I was somewhere other than where I was right then. I remind myself often that this is a skill that takes practice, but it often leaves me impatient. I work toward living in the moment as best I can with my children, and teaching them to meditate, feel calm, and think about where they are right then and what they are doing. Mindfulness is learned.
To genuinely walk a mile in another person's shoes before developing an impression.
I love this. That tiny freakin thumbs down got me. Sorry. I love it.
DEATH..... when you get old a lot of people that you know or heard of die !
Al-Anon was a big help to me when my late husband was practicing his alcoholism. I still go to meeting occasionally.
Me too. I sometimes wish I drank so that I could have an excuse to use to be a horrific monster but alas I have a responsible heart.
Gradually figuring out that it's generally better to pay a specialist to do something complicated than to attempt it yourself.
You know that you are getting old when a lot of people you know start to die.....
And who ever thought they'd need hearing aids...
Another....This is what money is for, when you can't or don't want to do something yourself
Separate names with a comma.