Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by cynthetiq, Feb 9, 2018.
yeah. too many people have passed away over the years that have had a great impact to me.
I never knew I needed to know how to haggle
Or get vendors to do what I want.
(By friendly, fear, formality, funny, etc...)
My mom who raised me by herself
Is a saint and a sucker
She plays it straight
Pays what she’s told
Survives through persistence
Or find another vendor after she’s been hustled
But doesn’t get her money back
Me...I’m not a sucker...for long
I learn, adjust, get skilled...over the long run
I’m sincere but this kid watches
So now I’m aware. (Did start that way...for a long time)
AND I’ve learned to “coax” people to react
(Not that I want this...I’d rather they just do it right, the first time )
But it’s life in the big city
And I certainly don’t have any more hair to lose.
(Or have I said that before?? )
Growing up a tomboy and working in my family's hardware store I became willing to try almost anything crafty or mechanical. Had to learn the hard way to keep that in check. I've learned how to do a lot of things. And wrecked them in the process.
I WISH I had grown up "around" hardware, my dad was a surgeon and tried to make me a physician...'FAIL' I wanted no part of it.
He then started on my younger brother...he did become an orthopedic surgeon, I became an architect....(where was I going with this) oh yes, I also "did OJT On The Job training, in repairs...my first big disaster was taking apart a Rochester Quadra-jet Carburetor in the 50's...I opened it and parts flew out..never to be found...
At this point in my life...I pay to have "stuff" done....mostly
it happens, the first time i built a 700r4 and took the valve body and balls fell out every where i had the same experience. but now its second nature
I am in the process of cutting down the last 20% of a tree that was damaged in a tornado hit (80% of it fell over in the 130mph winds). I am not a professional, and it would take them 10 minutes, but I am using hand tools, long poles, shaky ladders and standing on the roof to cut small pieces off. I have tied a rope around the big branch, but I'm not sure where it will go when it comes down. I am trying to prevent my neighbors house from getting damaged because the AC unit and electric meter is close by underneath it.
It is the first time I have had to cut down a tree, but I have a lot of building experience.
Not a good idea....there is a lot of skill and experience in cutting trees with houses close by....
Here's a different one for this Saturday......
My wife and I met a couple about two years ago and played at a swinger party. Shes almost exactly my type, hes not my wifes main type but in her strike zone. He couldn't get it up while I was going until I was tired. ED is a common issue for a lot of guys in swinging, too much pressure. So anyways I had a fantastic time and she didn't. She's not put off or anything, but it wasn't a great time.
They invited us to dinner on Saturday and we had no plans and we decided it would be nice to see them again, they are nice people and we don't have a ton of friends we do stuff with lately. He brought up the idea of playing again last night, and I know my wife is on the fence about this. I think she assumes its a non-play thing and I'm torn. I know I can convince her to do it if I tried yet I don't want her to have a similar experience. Without details it wasn't just the ED that didn't work for her but it wasn't like a hard no either.
So thats my dilemma for today. Needless to say "they" didn't train me on how to handle this in life
Update: Wife just said shes not really interested. I'm not one to push it. I'll have my memories
I look in the rearview mirror probably too much. I wonder how my life may have turned out if I had taken different paths. I suppose that's what your thirties are for? Don't get me wrong though..I do love my life and my family. I have a problem with the 'wondering' part sometimes though. For instance...I'm back here, a place that nearly ended my last serious 4+ yr relationship (It was a horrendous abusive Doozy too and I'm lucky I escaped it...). I feel alone as we move so much it's hard to make meaningful friends now as an adult. The college years look sweet and the aroma of nostalgia is often a nice place to get lost in.
I am lonely at present - but I know it's not forever. I have missed this community and 'my' people here. Very much. Nice to be back. Nice to be 'home' and to see so many people I used to converse with so regularly. I feel slightly ashamed I let myself be so consumed by relationships I let this part of me go.
Nice to have you back.
Always great to see old faces again.
Also great to hear how they are doing.
Right back at you. Want to be more involved again.
I think that this feeling of... almost like a wistfulness to revisit moments in life where we have divergent life paths we can take, especially when we know more/differently now and would not take the same paths is very common in certain personality types.
I know mine comes from striving for growth, and then being sad at Past-Toaster for not doing what I would not do now, or not thinking about some key factor that might have changed things for better. But I feel that is often an unrealistic standard to hold myself to, as I try and do my best at all times, and that is really all one can do anyway. I try and use it as a motivation, and a way to appreciate past events and the possibilities even if they were not what I wanted.
I do it in games too, save-scumming to read all conversation paths and do all the things etc. so at least I am consistent! I just haven't figured out how to time travel yet.
I may have used to do this sort of thinking years ago, but as I got older I started to look at it from a different perspective: If I had done things differently, then certain things that I had accomplished would not have come to pass- and that's a bit distressing, so I really try to not have regrets.
Nobody let me know..
All those times I hurt myself skiing, crashing Motorcycles, cars...falling...They "got better" but, now after turning 60..(a lot of years ago) the pain is still there.
Growing old is not for the weak minded BELIEVE ME
That Butterfly Effect shit always gets people in trouble! I do think it is a great thought exercise to reflect and act with intention in future things, for sure.
we are all one big family, and this is our home.
Hmmm went to the zoo this weekend with hubs and our two girls. Met up with another family from their nursery and proceeded the walk around. Halfway through my youngest (3.5) had an accident in the sandy play area in front of another couple of mothers and their older girls. Hubs and oldest was off doing something else and I was sitting with the other mother and her husband when I heard the people sitting opposite say loudly within earshot of my daughter - "That's disgusting"....my daughter heard them and started to get upset.
To set the scene...this happened within the space of 15 - 30 seconds. I look over to the to mother as I went to my daughter and said "Is there a problem? She's 3, they have accidents, it happens - mind your own business, stop staring and keep your comments to yourself" after I got my daughter and a change of clothes, we walked past them again and after the mother was done gaping at my response to her said "Don't yell at my kids like that" and I shot back "I wasn't yelling at your kids, I was yelling at you and the hideous example of bullying a little kid you're setting" and walked away to get my daughter changed.
I was mildly embarrassed of having reacted that way in front of the my daughter's friend and her parents...but surprisingly they said I did the exact right thing and if a mother couldn't stand up for her kids, then who else would? As much as I have really tried to calm my fiery temperament over the years, these incidents happen from now and then.
I don't know if they teach you how to deal with that kind of shit in the kids books...but I was not prepared for how to deal with another mother shaming my child in public. Completely out of left field. Maybe I was wrong...or could have handled it differently...but when someone else makes my kid feel inadequate in an already difficult situation I cannot stand for that.
People will frown or bitch about what’s inconvenient or uncomfortable to them...
But remember, they’ll do something too
And react the same as yourself, in total hypocrisy to what would be said to you
So just deal with the situation
Don’t worry about their pettiness
People are just self centered
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