Why do you think it’s so hard for people to say they’re sorry?

Oh, I would never apologize unless I did something that my own conscience had told me was wrong. I don't let culture dictate my moral code.

 

apologies are always necessary when you mess up, but i run into a problem with the phrase "i'm sorry." I grew up learning that "i'm sorry" was a shorter version of saying "i'm a sorry human being who regrets what they've done." I still believe that apologies are very necessary, but that particular phrase has been removed from my pocket-sized lexicon. "My bad" or "That was my fault" have been equally useful substitutes and they get the message across while not crossing any boundaries that i've lived with forever.

 

Really? So when you step on someone's foot because you didn't see them, no apology is necessary? When you made an ass of yourself because you didn't understand someone was serious or in pain, no apology is necessary?

If that's your take on life, Eddie, never have kids. They'll turn out to be gigantic assholes.
--- merged: Oct 29, 2011 5:46 PM ---

And here's the flip side - strength has absolutely nothing to do with most situations. Apologies are generally necessary to acknowledge a mistake. You've stated that mistakes only happen because of lack of strength.

Honestly, this explains a lot about you, Eddie. And why you're most likely not going to be a long-term member of TFP unless you're willing to be more gracious in admitting your mistakes and those of others.

 

Uh, no. You step on someone's foot you say "excuse me." "You made an ass of yourself?" You're going to have be more specific with that one. What exactly did the person do to "make an ass of themselves?"

 

I apologize when I determine that I've done something wrong according to my moral code. That's it.

 

I believe God gives every human being a conscience.
--- merged: Oct 29, 2011 5:53 PM ---

If you stepped on someone's foot because you were being careless and disrespectful to those around you, then yes, apologize. But if you're foot stepping was the result of some outside force then no, no apology is necessary, imo.

 

Two separate situations, Eddie. One is obvious - when you step on someone's foot. Even if you're shoved into them, you still say "sorry". If your mother didn't teach you better manners than that, you're going to have a hard life. It's a universal in Western Culture.

When you make an ass of yourself by inadvertently injuring feelings, you apologize. Again, that's a universal. Back in the day, it was the sort of thing that led to duels. Now we've learned to graciously apologize and accept the apology.

Your moral code is irrelevant for anything other than your own behavior. It's when you're interacting with others that law, religion and manners (in that order) dictate the necessity for apologies. If your moral code doesn't allow for the imposition of all three upon it, it's fundamentally flawed.

 

I disagree. An "excuse me" is more appropriate.

Inadvertently? No apology necessary, imo. "Excuse me" preferably in the offended's native tongue is more appropriate.

My moral code, derived from my conscience, is how I determine whether or not I've done something wrong. So no, not irrelevant.

 

Uh, Eddie.... "excuse me" is an apology. It's short for "please excuse my behavior that impacted you negatively." It is simply another form of "I'm sorry." I'd dock you one of your idiotic "points" now, or take one for myself, but I'm polite enough not to do so (although clearly not polite enough to point it out).

Which implies that you're unconcerned about other people's moral codes. Which was my point all along. When one moral code collides with another, it's best for both individuals to apologize and move on.

 

No. Saying "Excuse me" is not an admission that a mistake was made or something wrong was done...that would be an apology. Can I have my point back now, please?

There is only one God, therefore only one moral code.

 

No, because you're still wrong. "Excuse me" is synominous with "I'm sorry." The former is as much an apology as the latter, as is the lesser used "I beg your pardon"/"Pardon me." Is English your first language? If it is, not only did your mother apparently make serious mistakes raising you, but your educational background seems to be lacking as well. This is 8th Grade English stuff.

[/quote]

I'm a disinterested agnostic - I don't care if there's a God(s) or not. Therefore I have a different moral code than you. One that allows me to punch you in the nose if you step on my foot and don't apologize. Except that the law dictates that I can't, so I don't.

 

An apology should come from a place of remorse, not a place of obligation. So your judgement of right and wrong is irrelevant to whether or not I feel an apology is warranted.

Would an "excuse me" be acceptable to you?

 

Nice bait. But this ain't my first rodeo.

 

Excuse me, but what has Eddie done or said elsewhere than in this thread to earn a lesson in apologizing?

 

But if I'm the wronged party and feel an apology is in order, what then? Social mores dictate that you, as the offender, should apologize.

By your editing of my comments, I see you conceed that I'm right about the etymology of "excuse me" and "I'm sorry".