Your opinions about social interaction at work

Something strange happened to me today.

Unfortunately it has been known to me I lack social skills and social awareness - even my manager subtly suggested this at another time. I was wondering if I gain some perspective into normal/accepted human behaviour.

The reason why I thought salient to write this is because the following IS a big deal to someone like me - uncomfortable talking...

I was at work when this rather attractive, intelligent & interested lady came in -- if I may say so. She asked me a question and I directed her where to go (for the solution). She later came back asking more questions and well we started talking...or rather I started to ask questions because I was genuinely interested -- she replied -- I replied etc. She just seemed nice. You know?

She was from the USA staying in London for 1 year university-exchange and it seemed we had similar interests. I shall not bore you with the details but anyway the point is I felt so strongly about talking to her some more I took an early lunch break not more than 10-15 mins later just to find her somewhere outside so I could ask her more questions.

And of course she is still on my mind, I still remember her name and I am thinking about our conversion we had - I think how I could have said it in another way to make it sound better. I wish I said it like this? I wonder if she did this blah blah blah.

I am scared because 1) I honestly do not know why I feel like this, never have felt like this before.
2) This was the first time I could talk "in comfort" - normally I have a slight stutter and I find it too embarrassing to talk about topics I don't know/smalltalk etc.
3) You think this was inappropriate? No one else was there so I was not holding up the queue (line).

OK thanks.

ps: I did not find her. 4) why am I getting this strange feeling about hoping she comes in again tomorrow?

 

This sounds like a great start.
Next time you see her, suggest you go to lunch together (with Borla's conditions kept in mind).

 

LoneWanderer, I think this is what a lot of people would colloquially call "a crush." It sounds like you're attracted to her, mentally and physically, so it makes a lot of sense that you want to see more of her, get to talk to her more, etc.

I will say to be careful, though; lots of workplaces are kind of strict on non-work conversation, especially with people who aren't fellow employees. It doesn't sound like you spent an inappropriate amount of time talking with her, and I'm not saying that "the hammer" will be brought down on you or anything, just a warning to be on the safe side.

If you like her, try to set up a way for you two to hang out outside of the workplace! @fflowley's suggestion of lunch is an excellent way to go about this.

Good luck!

 

I write this on way to work.
I think I understand where this might be going. In terms of age difference I would imagine we are of similar age. Assuming she started University at 18 like I did - would make me maybe 2 years older.

Let's say I I do go with the lunch offer. What is the social custom, to pay for the said lunch?

And all this relies on assuming that she will turn up today, haha.

This is interesting because I remember my days of high school and the vernacular was to "go out" "fancy" etc - concepts I've never really understood.

Anyway thanks for the support/clarification.

 

I could be wrong here because I haven't dated in about 20 years but I would say if it's a work day, you decide to go eat together on your lunch break(s), that's not really a date. It's more of an "I think you're interesting and I want to get to know you better". You can each bring or buy your own lunch.
If you are wanting to see more of each other after that, then you go on a "date". I think if you're the one doing the asking then it would be nice to pay for whatever that date is. I'm not suggesting that should be something expensive.

 

On the way back.

Appreciate social norms 'tutorial. Hope everyone here does not mind me asking for advice.

Didn't see her today. That's a shame.

 

Monday. Did not turn up. Laying here trying to get to sleep.

I can't believe how one person can have such a big affect on me. We only spoke for no more than 10 mins but I feel I know this person for ever. I regret not having the courage to ask her then and there if she would have lunch with me. Now I am left for ever wondering what could have been.

Let this be a life lesson for me. If an opportunity arises take it. But I don't think it is my personality to be like that.

 

ditto as to what rogue49 said

if you seem like you give a fuck, you're out of the game.

a piece of advice. If you keep playing scenes in your head, the next time you see her you're going to screw things up. stop putting her on a pedestal, and when you see her next time you need to...breath.

 

This has all the symptoms of a crush as others have said.. best advice I can offer is to not change a single one of your behaviors for the time being. The #1 way to chase someone off is to come off as a creepy stalker obsessive type, and that is what will happen if you keep this inner dialogue going. Remember.. right now you're some random guy she talked to for 10 minutes.


Think of it like a game of tennis - if you keep hitting the ball over the net and there's no one on the other side to hit it back, you're going through a whole lot of energy for nothing.