Adult Science Jokes

And now for some poetry...

I used to think math was no fun
'Cause I couldn't see how it was done
Now Euler's my hero
And I see that 0
= e^(i)(pi) + 1

 

Q: What is the chemical name of the following benzene-like molecule?

PhD PhD
\ /
C - C
/ \
C C
\ /
C - C

A: Orthodox

 

There are only 10 kinds of people,
those that understand binary math, and those that don't.

 

Q: What is the chemical name of the following benzene-like molecule?

4
\
C - C 4
/ \ /
C C
\ /
C - C

A: Metaphor

 

Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
A: An ether bunny

 

What did the string theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman???

"But honey, I can explain everything!"

 

Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED...

 

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.
A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist."

That's when the proctologist left...

 

Q: What is the chemical symbol for diarrhea?
A: (CO(NH2)2)2
--- merged: Apr 10, 2012 at 6:50 AM ---

A mole is about 6.02 x 1023 and is known as Avogadro's number.

make it easier?

 

Well, I know that comedy is not just the words...but the rhythm.
It's the way you say it.

Actually, as you likely know, I'm not the author of all these, of course.
but it does take some effort getting the right one and putting it down.
(some I've collected over the years, some I find...)

Many can write down a joke, many can't tell it.
I've seen/heard the same joke told, but said many different ways...it DOES make a difference.
And on the board, formatting and syntax of a joke makes a difference too.
I spend some time in framing mine, making sure the spacing and pacing is done.
I even alter some tiny words or choise phrases to make it sound better as you're reading it. (and the editor is not very friendly sometimes)
It is not just pure C/P.

They say comedy is much harder than drama. If it's not clicking, it lands flat.
Actually, I've noted that I get better as I get tired, irreverent, but having to stay awake...my banter, my sarcasm, timing, etc...excels then.
I've said, if I stay awake for 2 days then go onto one the Late Nite shows, I could become a comedian. (maybe this is why many are drunk/high)

Anyways, back to your question.
Test it out in your head...actually have a conversation, how it would sound if you were in a very "casual" and "comfortable" place.
Like if you were BS'ing your friend.

BTW, if you're explaining it...you've lost it. (and that's different than a science joke, which at times needs to be thought of.)
There are ones out there that are too abstract, too contextual...you want as wide an audience as you can.
Even the SME's don't want to think about a joke too much.

FYI...I've thought of the Avacado thing too, as I think others have,
you might want to do a search to see if there are any others out there, it might exist.
Not that this is bad, please don't stop. I like where you're going with it.
Do your own thing, it may turn out better.

That's the thing about comedy...there's pie throws...then there's PIE throws. Someone has perfected it better than others.
My dad tells one joke, that I can't do as well...he's got the banter & rhythm for it down pat.
Me, I've got mine I hit with.
The hard part is trying not to repeat yourself, you can "borrow/steal" a joke, but once you've told it...it can be done again, but find a different group.
We're not pros, we don't have to be original...and they aren't either, they just mix it up to get a better laugh.

Don't be afraid of cheesy.
You've just got to do it right...like a good pun that makes you groan, but smile.
And don't worry about the science too much, if it's close enough...then the joke flows. The key is the connection.
Go for the yuk.

And on that note...

-----------

"But you can't give up now!" exclaimed the protractor to the abacus. "We're all counting on you!"

/where's a cymbal around when you need one??? (in my best Groucho)

 

Q: What is the chemical symbol for diarrhea?
A: (CO(NH2)2)2

 

Seen on a sign in an engineer's office:

Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling a pig in the mud...

After three hours, you realize the pig likes it.

 

(groaner alert...)

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

 

When f=0, resistance is futile.

 

Q: What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?

A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe...