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Boobs: What's the deal? (NSFW)

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Plan9, Nov 13, 2011.

  1. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    So… she said:
    Okay… that’s good, but that’s not the end. Because the issue still remains: I Don’t Understand Boobs.

    Somebody explain breasts to me. How do they manage to draw so much acclaim? I don’t want this to devolve into some silly human evolution / anthropological explanation… because we all know that boobs are extraterrestrial. They're supernatural. They’re an endless variety of tempting alien hood ornaments. Those magical mammaries are loaded with black magic. And topped with pert nipples made of depleted uranium.

    [​IMG]

    Help me out here. I mean, my shrunken reptilian brain kinda gets it. They're... "attractive." Just like the way I imagine heterosexual women find men with coffin-shaped torsos and big arms attractive. Something about pleasing proportions of meat. Physical fitness, good body symmetry, the I’d-hit-it-AND-make-some-baybehs factor, etc. While they aren't the sole reason for the socioeconomic strata we have today, they're a big round part of it.

    The General Male Perspective on Boobs:

    [​IMG]

    Back to the research question: Why do I want to look at them and touch them and put my mouth on them? I do such often for no reason other than my own primal gratification. I am well aware of the fact that they don’t dispense Yoohoo and no matter how long or hard I suck on them, I'll never get shot of fake chocolate-flavored drink. I know that all women have them and thus they aren't particularly special in the grand scheme of things. I've also figured out that women use them to prettify themselves for other women and to attract men through simple communication techniques:

    [​IMG]

    And, if you've picked up a magazine or seen a billboard in the last 99 years, they're used to sell the most peculiar things:

    [​IMG]

    I've pondered this big question for some time now. I’ve done the legwork, folks: Spent years with them in my face. All sizes and colors and shapes. There literally isn't a day that goes by that I don't look at 'em. I call it the immersion technique. I'm like Jane Goodall here, watchin' them in the wild.

    Some guys get worried about that:

    That might be the case for those other guys. They might lose the spark in those mystical globes. But not me. No, I don't just like boobs... I study them.

    Part of the reason why boobs are so awesome is that despite their superfluous shape and size (unnecessary to their actual biological function), there is no male equivalent. I’m not of the ‘80s action hero physique by any means, but my hundred-thousand-pushups pectoral muscles rival the tits of some of my small-chested former girlfriends. That doesn’t bother me though, because I find large breasts kinda like a large gut: cumbersome. I genuinely prefer women that are built for speed. Kinda like this cupcake-equipped bartender I ran into at Lucky’s bar in Baton Rouge a couple years back:

    [​IMG]

    Truth be told, I’m more into a girl with an athletic ass and thighs, but I digress... boobs are super important to everybody. Even other species. Hell, my cat has tried to breastfeed on at least three of my partners. That's crazy. Cats are into human chicks' boobs, too. They're that flippin' awesome.

    Alright, TFP. What’s the deal with boobs, anyway? Spill it. Tits for tat.


    Explain yourselves.


    Personal stories. Research articles. Grainy self-shots. Pie charts.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  2. KirStang

    KirStang Something Patriotic.

    Saw a corset today. The boobs were spilling out of the top. Like the way muffins spill out of paper cups. They were saying *EAT ME.* That must be the appeal. Boobs are so edible.
     
  3. ChrisJericho

    ChrisJericho Careless whisper

    Location:
    Fraggle Rock
    They are fun to motorboat.
     
  4. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
    But they are not be masticated for digestion. Such has been attempted in jest and always met with a firm "No!"

    What a strange term. Please define this activity for the sake of the thread. Use pictures if necessary.
     
  5. ChrisJericho

    ChrisJericho Careless whisper

    Location:
    Fraggle Rock
     
  6. Jove

    Jove Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    Michigan
    I do believe a combination of hormones and an evolutionary genetic disposition from your ancestors as well as society's expectation of what a male should enjoy to function correctly although awkwardly at times depending on your arousal level has caused most men and women with the innate desire to stare and think about breasts.
     
  7. ASU2003

    ASU2003 Very Tilted

    Location:
    Where ever I roam
    I don't get the huge attraction either. Were the guys who are really into boobs not breastfed as a kid? I like smaller boobs better than big ones, but it doesn't factor into how attractive I see the girl as.

    In the movie Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay they went to a 'bottomless' party. That would be so much better than a topless party... well as long as the majority of people there were female... :)
     
  8. I love the boobies. I prefer smaller, pert ones. But there's nothing wrong with larger ones, hangers, fun bags, whatever. Boobs are like the entry gate to the amusement park. You're so excited when you get there because you Know there's a thrill ride ahead.

    BTW, I was breast fed :)
     
    • Like Like x 2
  9. EventHorizon

    EventHorizon assuredly the cause of the angry Economy..

    Location:
    FREEDOM!
    quality over volume.
    i don't want to see shamu's ta-tas floppin down to her knees, even if she is barely squeezing into the hammock sized FF bra. that being said, a nice 32B, depending on firmness, can beat out the floppy fellas every day of the week. to me it's got to be a combination of size and firmness. size alone means nothing, and if i wanted relatively tiny titties that are extra hard i would just do a few pushups and flex extra hard. it's all about balance.

    for the record my ideal is a perky set of 34Ds. also this:
     
  10. Plan9 FORMAT C:

    Location:
    This Island Earth
     
  11. Alistair Eurotrash

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    I like breasts because they are attached to someone I like and want to be intimate with. I don't really care what size they are but - if pushed - I'd express a preference for smaller (huge breasts just look unnatural to me and would get in the way too much, at least in my mind's eye). I like nipples, in particular. Sensitive ones. Nipples just seem more awesome on smaller, tighter breasts.

    I also like breasts because they belong to women. Maybe that's the same as my opening statement! They aren't, to my mind the single most awesome thing about women, but they are undoubtedly part of the package! Sexually, my interest in them comes from the pleasure they can bring her. If they don't bring her pleasure, they won't really play much part in the festivities.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Joniemack

    Joniemack Beta brainwaves in session

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    I like man boobs or should I say, man nipples. They're cute as crackers and respond quite well when played with.

    I don't get their purpose but they do give us heterosexual women a place to stop and focus our attention for a while, as we work our way down.:)
     
    • Like Like x 3
  13. Fangirl

    Fangirl Very Tilted

    Location:
    Arizona
    You declined the anthropological explanation so I'll try to stick with aesthetics and function and why I as a hetero female like boobs.
    First, both men and women who were breast-fed successfully (3 to 6 weeks-plus), forever after have an added 'pull' towards boobs even if they don't recall their early sublime experiences at their mother's teat.
    (Then there's the whole thing about men being drawn to women with boobs that indicate she would be good to breed with because she can successfully feed a kid and perpetuate the species.)
    I still cannot ignore the vast influence all kinds of media have over how we perceive breasts. I do not know how to separate that from why you feel as you do vs. why I do vs. the next guy or chick. You've heard it all before: we are creatures of conditioning. It's very un-sexy but I believe it is our 'baser' (not sure if that is a word) instincts that flip the switch in what we like with reinforcements of many kinds all along the way.

    I was born into a family of women that no matter what their body size have big boobs. I can't say I'm into anything much smaller than a B-cup unclothed but almost any breast can be 'packaged' (propped up, squeezed in, dressed up in leather or lace) to look appealing and they are so because of conditioning and reinforcement.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Joniemack

    Joniemack Beta brainwaves in session

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    In discussing "why boobs," it's difficult to leave the anthropological element out of the equation. If we all had fleshy tree branch looking appendages growing out of our chest, you'd have been conditioned to like them just as well. :rolleyes:
     
  15. Shadowex3

    Shadowex3 Very Tilted

    About 50% of us would argue that we do have fleshy tree branches, or possibly tree trunks depending on the ego of the person speaking.
     
  16. lotsofmagnets

    lotsofmagnets Vertical

    a good social experiment would be to let women go topless as freely as guys do. it would be interesting to see if the infatuation continued or they came to be considered as appealing as arms.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. I'm all for this experiment.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Alistair Eurotrash

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    You know, it's funny. I once caught myself, after spending most of the day with topless women on a beach and not batting an eyelid, finding myself up at the beach bar enjoying a beer and trying to peer down the top one had thrown on to go to the bar.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  19. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    Boobs are cool and all, but I'm really more of a leg-man myself.

    [​IMG]

    I would elaborate on this, but it's... um, getting harder... to think... er...
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2018
    • Like Like x 1
  20. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    When I was a dancer in the Midwest we called this "Giving a Stevie" as in Stevie Wonder. As in teaching a blind guy to appreciate boobs.:) The power of boobs: This act would occasionally result in an ejaculation response.:oops: I kid you not.
    There certainly can be "too much of a good thing." And, big perkies really are a rarity. When I was dancing I had an agent tell me that I had "world class tits" because they were firm and perky 34Ds. They made me a lot of money. Tips for tits was more apropos that tit for tat. At one time I had -literally- a shoebox full of money. All because guys like boobs. And most are partial to big ones.

    Would you spurn a woman with a tight little butt and lean legs just because she had big (not huge) boobs?
    It does seem, though, that big boob girls today, even the teenagers, are just fatter than they were ten or fifteen years ago. Well, I guess all the girls, as far as that goes.
    Having said all that, and having turned 35 last week, I have to admit that the girls ain't what they used to be. Gravity will win out in the end, I'm now starting to see.:(

    Lindy